Callahan on Baker

[Eggcentric@xxxxxxx]

Half Baked: `Vin-sane' Celts trade a recipe for disaster
by Gerry Callahan
Friday, December 6, 2002

They are just two years removed from the Rick Pitino disaster and 
just 2 games out of first place. They went to the Eastern Conference 
finals last spring and could go as far again this season. They've got 
two tough and talented All-Star players, a superb coaching staff 
and a supporting cast that brings energy and intensity into every 
game it plays.

So how come we can't take our eyes off the sloth-like sixth man?
Is this it? Is this the guy the Celtics got in exchange for Kenny 
Anderson and Vitaly Potapenko, the guy who has four years and $56 
million left on his contract, the guy who was going to be rejuvenated 
back here in New England in front of his family and friends? Is this 
what were going to be looking at UNTIL THE YEAR 2006?

So how are we enjoying the Vinny Baker era so far?

We heard all the spin when the Celtics made the trade, and some of us, 
regrettably, swallowed it whole: THIS, the Celts assured us, was not 
going to be the same slacker who wore out of his welcome in Seattle. 
This Vinny was going to be different from that Vinny, they said, and 
on that count, they were right:

This Vinny is worse. Beyond worse. Worse than worse. How bad has he 
been? He has been ``Swept Away'' bad, Eric Dickerson-on-the-sidelines 
bad, the last two episodes of ``The Sopranos'' bad. He has been so bad, 
so out of sync, so completely overmatched, that he has at times been 
a bizarre and inexplicable distraction for viewers. It's like seeing a 
polka-dotted elephant walk across the track in the middle of 
thoroughbred race, only without the quickness.

On Wednesday night, in the Celtics' 99-93 loss at Philadelphia, Baker 
missed an open layup, while standing still, directly under the front of 
the rim. He front-rimmed it. He failed to convert a layup after Antoine 
Walker found him under the hoop with a terrific bounce pass. And, of 
course, he could not cover Derrick Coleman, who won the matchup of 
overpaid, underachieving former All-Stars in a rout. Vinny was 
1-for-4 in 14 slow-motion minutes. It was, sadly, a typical Vin 
Baker performance.

Baker's inability to keep up - or at times even STAY up on his feet - 
has been a fascinating thing to observe. Watching him run the floor is 
like watching Marty Mornhinweg coach or Al Davis dress or Anna Nicole 
Smith think. He is Tony Clark in a tanktop, except Tony Clark made only 
$5 million in one dreadful season and now Tony Clark is gone, gone, 
gone. Vin Baker is here and he will be here - start the countdown - 
for the next 310 regular-season games.

Thank you, Paul Gaston, you greedy, gutless, money-grubbing slug. 
Have a nice life. Hope your new yacht sinks.

Give Vinny this: At least he has to show his face to get his millions. 
Gaston just sends his lawyers to collect his ill-gotten gains. If 
you're a loyal Celtics fan and you would like to hear an explanation of 
the Baker trade from His Highness, you're going to have to travel to 
Aspen and try to find him in a lift line.

Gaston wasn't happy to just bleed his best customers dry. He saw an 
opportunity to sell his 49-win team for a few dollars more and 
decided to get on the receiving end of the luxury tax before pulling 
the trigger. Wyc and the boys had better be prepared: Before he 
surrenders the keys to Daddy's old team, Gaston will try to grab 
the air out of the basketballs. As Paul Pierce says of the new 
owners in Dime magazine, ``They can't do any worse than the last 
ones . . . right?''

Celtics management was hoping Baker, a four-time All-Star and 
former Olympian, couldn't do any worse than he did in Seattle. After 
all, in 55 games last season, Vin Baker averaged 14.1 points and 
6.4 rebounds.  It seems Rob Schneider will win an Oscar before Vin 
Baker throws in 14 for this Celtics team.

On the season, he is averaging 5.3 points a game, and actually appears 
to have slowed down of late. He has just three hoops in his last five 
games, and coach Jim O'Brien has handed some of Baker's minutes to 
Walter McCarty, who has never been an All-Star or Olympian. All 
scoring aside, Baker seems to be having trouble just keeping his feet 
and catching the ball, and no one seems to understand how he got 
that crazy contract in the first place.

Paul Westphal was the head coach in Seattle when Baker landed 
the seven-year maximum contract, but the former Celtics guard 
is not to blame for this one.

``When I got to the job in Seattle, he had been an All-Star four years 
in a row,'' said Westphal, now the coach at Pepperdine. ``But it was 
the lockout at the time, and I couldn't have any contact with the 
players. So the first time I met him, he was 40 to 50 pounds 
overweight, which means he had gained that much over one summer. 
And he started the year by missing 22 straight free throws, and it 
was just was not a good year.

``Having come off this disaster of a season, he wanted a max contract. 
My vote was to give him a one-year deal, but in the wisdom of the 
Sonic organization, they decided to give him the money. They said 
that year was an aberration. He had the same agent as Gary Payton, 
and they were convinced he'd be back. It was over my objections, 
but I guess I didn't object strongly enough.''

Chris Wallace and O'Brien can certainly relate. When Seattle finally 
found a taker for Baker in Boston, the Celtics coaches and players and 
management had no choice. It was one last score for Paulie the Fraud, 
so the polka-dotted elephant was dumped in their laps.

Good luck, boys, and don't let it get you down. He won't be here 
forever.

After tonight, only 309 games to go.