Geekonics

["JLyell" <jlyell@concentric.net>]

For your amusement.  This appears to be 1804's language.

- ----------
>  
> Geekonics
> By John Woestendiek
> Philadelphia Inquirer
> Wed., January 8, 1997
> 
> NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of
> children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board
in
> San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or
> "Geekonics", as a second language.
> 
> The historic vote on Geekonics -- a combination of the word
> "geek" and the word "phonics" -- came just weeks after the Oakland
> school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct
language.
> 
> "This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy"
> Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school
> board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics.
> 
> "No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a
> celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close
> to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to
> process the data we need to interface with all units of humanity."
> 
> Controversial and widely misunderstood, the Geekonics movement was
> spawned in California's Silicon Valley, where many children have
> grown up in households headed by computer technicians, programmers,
> engineers and scientists who have lost ability to speak plain
> English and have inadvertently passed on their high-tech vernacular
> to their children.
> 
> HELPING THE TRANSITION
> 
> While schools will not teach the language, increased teacher
> awareness of Geekonics, proponents say, will help children make the
> transition to standard English. Those students, in turn, could
> possibly help their parents learn to speak in a manner that would
> lead listeners to believe that they have actual blood coursing
> through their veins.
> 
> "Bit by bit, byte by byte, with the proper system development, with
> nonpreemptive multitasking, I see no reason why we can't download
> the data we need to modulate our oral output," Macintosh said.
> 
> The designation of Ebonics and Geekonics as languages reflects a
> growing awareness of our nation's lingual diversity, experts say.
> 
> Other groups pushing for their own languages and/or vernaculars to
> be declared official viewed the Geekonics vote as a step in the
> right direction.
> 
> "This is just, like, OK, you know, the most totally kewl thing,
> like, ever," said Jennifer Notat-Albright, chairwoman of the
> Committee for the Advancement of Valleyonics, headquartered in
> Southern California. "I mean, like, you know?" she added.
> 
> THEY'RE HAPPY IN DIXIE
> 
> "Yeee-hah," said Buford "Kudzu" Davis, president of the Dixionics
> Coalition. "Y'all gotta know I'm as happy as a tick on a sleeping
> bloodhound about this. We could be fartin' thru silk perty soon."
> 
> Spokesmen for several subchapters of Dixionics -- including
> Alabonics, Tennesonics and Louisionics -- also said they approved of
> the decision.
> 
> Bill Flack, public information officer for the Blue Ribbon Task
> Force on Bureaucratonics said that his organization would not
> comment on the San Jose vote until it convened a summit meeting,
> studied the impact, assessed the feasibility, finalized a report and
> drafted a comprehensive action plan, which, once it clears the
> appropriate subcommittees and is voted on, will be made public to
> those who submit the proper information-request forms.
> 
> Proponents of Ebonics heartily endorsed the designation of Geekonics
> as an official language.
> 
> "I ain't got no problem wif it," said Earl E. Byrd, president of the
> Ebonics Institute. "You ever try talkin' wif wunna dem computer
> dudes? Don't matter if it be a white computer dude or a black
> computer dude; it's like you be talkin' to a robot -- RAM, DOS,
> undelete, MegaHertZ. Ain't nobody understands. But dey keep talkin'
> anyway. 'Sup wif dat?"
> 
> Those involved in the lingual diversity movement believe that only
> by enacting many different English languages, in addition to all the
> foreign ones practiced here, can we all end up happily speaking the
> same boring one, becoming a nation that is both unified in its
> diversity, and diversified in its unity.
> 
> Others say that makes no sense at all. In any language.
> 
> From: Mark Chandler <mchandler@LTVUCC11.VM.VU.LT>
> Subject: Geekonics
> Date: Sat, 08 Feb 97 15:45:48 EET
> 
> 
> 
>