Interview with a Censor

[WFang01@aol.com]

WF: Rich, do you think you can come out of your "control room" for a moment
and talk to us?
RT: Well, I'm kinda busy right now. That Gary M/Nervos guy snuck in 3 more
"off-topic" posts.
WF: Really! Wow! So what are you going to do about it?
RT: Oh you'll see. First it will be some e-mail, then...
WF: "Then"? Then what???
RT: Oh, I have my plans!
WF: Can you share them with us?
RT: Well...
WF: Oh come on!
RT: Well, I can see I'm not getting very far--but I am irritating the <pee
pee> out of them, so I figured the next step would be even better.
WF: "The Next Step"??? Go on?
RT: Who are you calling a "Moron"?
WF: No, I said, GO ON! (hMMM... how did he know what I was thinking?)
RT: Well, there's a couple of things I can do. For example. I can write Pete
Townshend.
WF: Really! What would you say?
RT: Well, I'd just tell him like it is. People on the Internet are NOT
discussing The Who.
WF: Do you think he cares? What if he tells you to play the beginning of
"5:15"???
RT: Well, I'd be crushed. At least for the moment. Besides, Pete has a big
nose anyway!
WF: Not to mention the rogain.
RT: Rogain???
WF: I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION IT!
RT: Oh, sorry. Anyway, as I was saying, this is only the beginning.
WF: Can I ask you why you can't simply hit the "delete" key?
RT: Why should I? Why should someone post something that *I* don't want to
read?
WF: What if someone else wants to read it?
RT: That's too bad, *I* don't want to and that's all that matters.
WF: hMMM... So, the other people on the list don't matter? Or, their
opinions?
RT: Absolutely not! 
WF: I've never seen you post.
RT: Why should I? I don't have the time, either.
WF: Well, if you shouldn't post? Who should?
RT: I really don't care. As long as it's on-topic and I don't have to spend
ANY more time reading than necessary.
WF: So what you're basically saying is, you just want to read the list and
everyone who posts should write what YOU want to read.
RT: Exactly. Is that so difficult?
WF: Can I ask you a personal question?
RT: Well... maybe.
WF: What do you do for a living?
RT: Why? 
WF: Just curious.
RT: Well, if you must know. I'm a "fractile freak".
WF: What's that???
RT: Oh surely you must know!
WF: Nope. Never heard of it.
RT: Well... I sharpen pencils.
WF: All day?
RT: All day.
WF: I guess I can understand you a bit better now.
RT: What do you mean?
WF: Well, with all that stress and important decision making, I can see where
you'd be burned out by the end of the day.
RT: I'm glad you're starting to see things my way. People have no idea how
difficult my job is.
WF: I can imagine! Gee, what happens if you oversharpen a pencil?
RT: Don't even say that! It happened to me once and I got yelled at.
WF: I can just imagine. So, getting back to the list, what do you see
happening?
RT: I intend to keep it up... until they stop.
WF: And if they don't--which is my prediction.
RT: They will just have to suffer then.
WF: Suppose one of them gets mad and knocks on your door one day?
RT: What? What do you mean???
WF: Well, it is possible. There are some smart people on here and with
various resources they could "track you down" so to speak.
RT: You're kidding! No, that would never happen!
WF: Gee, I don't know. The rule of thumb on the Internet should be, don't
post anything you wouldn't say in person.
RT: I never even thought about that.
WF: Really? A genius like you!
RT: I'm glad you think I'm smart. Nobody else does... :(
WF: Actually, I think you're very stupid. 
RT: You're kidding!
WF: Not this time.
RT: How 'bout I start e-mailing you?
WF: That's fine, but be prepared to "Face The Face".
RT: Is that a Who song?
WF: Well, The Who did perform it in '89. It's actually a Pete Townshend solo
song.
RT: Huh? Didn't know that. My favorite Who song is "American Woman". I like
all the songs on that album!
WF: You idiot! That's the GUESS WHO!
RT: I know that???
WF: This is THE WHO mailing list.
RT: Yeah, what's your point?
WF: The GUESS WHO and THE WHO are TWO DIFFERENT BANDS!
RT: They are?
WF: You're on the wrong <Riker> list!
RT: Huh! Wow! No wonder everything seemed off topic! Hey, isn't Pete
Townshend in The Guess Who?
WF: NO!
RT: Oh well. Oh where does the time go... Bye!


THE END

-wf