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Plan 9 From Pitino Space
When I think of Rick Pitino, I think of plans:
PLAN A - Plan A was the drafting of Tim Duncan, the franchise center that would
have, hopefully led the team in green to the next championship. Unfortunately,
the lottery balls weren't lucky for the C's and thus a alternative idea was
PLAN B - Trade the two picks and more for Scotty Pippen and Luc Longley. An
excellent plan allowing the Celtics to pick up an established superstar and a
adequate center. But somehow the deal went askew. Who backed out of it is
unknown, but its collapse fomented the next plan.
PLAN C - The apple of Pitino's eye in last year's draft -- excluding the
unreachable Duncan -- was Keith Van Horn. Pitino was all set to take him at
three, when the evil larry Brown interceded and snatched him up at two. Oh the
despair Il Duce must have felt, outsmarted by Larry Brown. So Pitino settled
for Chauncy, because everyone knows you need a quality point guard.
PLAN D - Now the Rictator wanted veteran players who could play his style of
ball and assist a young crop of rookies. So he brought in Travis Knight, Chris
Mills, Tyus Edney, Tony Massenburg, and Bruce Bowen. He dumped Dino, Eric,
David, and a slew of others to accomplish the fact. But whoops, other Bruce
Bowen, none of the free agents he acquired actually fit into his style, so he
had to move them out, trading for Chris Mills for example.
PLAN E - Plan E arrived when Pitino found Chauncy sorely lacking in point guard
skills. The offense was dragging down; he didn't penetrate enough. He
didn't fit into Pitino's scheme of things, so off he went for a legitimate
point guard Kenny Anderson. Anderson performed spectacularly but knee problems
soon arose. Knee problems that are still plaguing Mr. Anderson months after
the season's cessation.
PLAN F - The coach/emperor had Dirk Nowitzki stashed away in Europe. Nowitzki,
perhaps the best player in the draft, had told everyone that he planned to
spend two more years in Germany so teams were leery of drafting him. This plan
almost succeeded, but for some mystical reason, Don Nelson levitated out of his
usual somnambulistic state and stole the German Tom Chambers right out from
under Little Ricky's noise. Fortunately this time, a worthy substitute Paul
Pierce was available allowing Pacino to implement the next plan.
PLAN G - BOOM
Here's the situation kiddies. The Celtics have a owner who doesn't want to pay
their best player; a point guard with chronically bad knees and a esteemed
draft choice who skills duplicate someone already here. When all is said
and done, the only one left standing is going to be Ron Mercer. Antoine is
gone. Pierce is gone. Anderson will have surgery as he tries to save his
But this time, Pitino will get it right. He will acquire a quality center and
draft choices for Antoine and other considerations; Pierce will bring a impact
power forward, and Anderson will retire. Next year's draft will unveil the
newest Celtics point guard - Chris Herren. Next year's free agent crop will
yield a quality small forward, and then the Pitino god will finally rest.