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Plan 9 From Pitino Space

When I think of Rick Pitino, I think of plans:

PLAN A - Plan A was the drafting of Tim Duncan, the franchise center that would 
have, hopefully led the team in green to the next championship.  Unfortunately, 
the lottery balls weren't lucky for the C's and thus a alternative idea was 

PLAN B - Trade the two picks and more for Scotty Pippen and Luc Longley.  An 
excellent plan allowing the Celtics to pick up an established superstar and a 
adequate center.  But somehow the deal went askew.  Who backed out of it is 
unknown, but its collapse fomented the next plan.

PLAN C - The apple of Pitino's eye in last year's draft -- excluding the 
unreachable Duncan -- was Keith Van Horn.  Pitino was all set to take him at 
three, when the evil larry Brown interceded and snatched him up at two.  Oh the
despair Il Duce must have felt, outsmarted by Larry Brown.  So Pitino settled 
for Chauncy, because everyone knows you need a  quality point guard.

PLAN D - Now the Rictator wanted veteran players who could play his style of 
ball and assist a young crop of rookies.  So he brought in Travis Knight, Chris 
Mills, Tyus Edney, Tony Massenburg, and Bruce Bowen.  He dumped Dino, Eric, 
David, and a slew of others to accomplish the fact.  But whoops, other Bruce 
Bowen, none of the free agents he acquired actually fit into his style, so he
had to move them out, trading for Chris Mills for example.

PLAN E - Plan E arrived when Pitino found Chauncy sorely lacking in point guard 
skills.  The offense was dragging down; he didn't penetrate enough.  He 
didn't fit into Pitino's scheme of things, so off he went for a legitimate 
point guard Kenny Anderson.  Anderson performed spectacularly but knee problems 
soon arose.  Knee problems that are still plaguing Mr. Anderson months after
the season's cessation.

PLAN F - The coach/emperor had Dirk Nowitzki stashed away in Europe.  Nowitzki, 
perhaps the best player in the draft, had told everyone that he planned to 
spend two more years in Germany so teams were leery of drafting him.  This plan
almost succeeded, but for some mystical reason, Don Nelson levitated out of his
usual somnambulistic state and stole the German Tom Chambers right out from 
under Little Ricky's noise.  Fortunately this time, a worthy substitute Paul 
Pierce was available allowing Pacino to implement the next plan.  

Here's the situation kiddies.  The Celtics have a owner who doesn't want to pay 
their best player; a point guard with chronically bad knees and a esteemed 
draft choice who skills duplicate someone already here.  When all is said
and done, the only one left standing is going to be Ron Mercer.  Antoine is 
gone.  Pierce is gone.  Anderson will have surgery as he tries to save his 

But this time, Pitino will get it right.  He will acquire a quality center and 
draft choices for Antoine and other considerations; Pierce will bring a impact 
power forward, and Anderson will retire.  Next year's draft will unveil the 
newest Celtics point guard - Chris Herren. Next year's free agent crop will 
yield a quality small forward, and then the Pitino god will finally rest.