Re: Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games

[Snoopy the Celtics Beagle <snoopy@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Nah, it's just someone blowing smoke.

Please, God, let that be smoke....  :>)))

At 11:41 AM 2/25/2004, Jim Hill wrote:

>Does this mean the Green Party will look to ban NBA games due to there
>effect on global warming?  Is this the world wide effect the NBA has, that
>was in Stern's globalization plan?  Did someone really pay to research this?
>
><Jim
>
>Kevin McHale, the biggest polluter, so to say...
>
>Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games
>
>
>Written by B. Elliot Stern
>
>San Diego - The University of California San Diego Scripps Research Center
>released a report today which states that 65% of NBA players pass gas during
>games. "Over the course of the past two years we conducted a study that
>included the viewing of thousands of hours of game footage in addition to
>lengthy interviews with several hundred current and former NBA players.  The
>preliminary results, which we are releasing today concludes that the passing
>of gas during NBA contests has reached an alarmingly high percentage," said
>research team leader, Dr. Robert Mason.  The detailed report goes on to
>state that excessive flatulence during play could start to lead to the
>outcome of games being affected.   As an example, a 2002 NBA contest between
>the New Jersey Nets and Los Angeles Lakers is highlighted in the research
>team's findings as one where point guard Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets
>repeatedly passed gas while dribbling the ball up court to shake off
>defenders who double teamed him. In one offensive sequence, the report notes
>that Kidd backed down Lakers guard Derek Fisher all the way underneath the
>basket without ever making contact with him.   The conclusion, says the
>study, "Kidd loaded up on a large amount of protein before the game to
>increase the severity of his flatulence thereby giving him an unfair
>advantage over unsuspecting Laker defenders."   Over the course of the
>interview process, researchers asked former and current players who they
>would name as the worst on-court gas passers of all time. Boston Celtics
>star Kevin McHale was the clear winner among former players. Recently
>retired New York Knicks center Patrick Ewing won out among current players
>who were polled, with Minnesota Timberwolves guard Latrell Sprewell a close
>second.  The final report will not be issued until sometime next month, at
>which time the NBA league office is expected to comment on its findings and
>possibly address the issue with team owners at their next meeting in April.
>
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Snoopy the Celtics Beagle
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