Re: Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games

["Jim Hill" <jahill199@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Does this mean the Green Party will look to ban NBA games due to there
effect on global warming?  Is this the world wide effect the NBA has, that
was in Stern's globalization plan?  Did someone really pay to research this?

<Jim

Kevin McHale, the biggest polluter, so to say...

Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games


Written by B. Elliot Stern

San Diego - The University of California San Diego Scripps Research Center
released a report today which states that 65% of NBA players pass gas during
games. "Over the course of the past two years we conducted a study that
included the viewing of thousands of hours of game footage in addition to
lengthy interviews with several hundred current and former NBA players.  The
preliminary results, which we are releasing today concludes that the passing
of gas during NBA contests has reached an alarmingly high percentage," said
research team leader, Dr. Robert Mason.  The detailed report goes on to
state that excessive flatulence during play could start to lead to the
outcome of games being affected.   As an example, a 2002 NBA contest between
the New Jersey Nets and Los Angeles Lakers is highlighted in the research
team's findings as one where point guard Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets
repeatedly passed gas while dribbling the ball up court to shake off
defenders who double teamed him. In one offensive sequence, the report notes
that Kidd backed down Lakers guard Derek Fisher all the way underneath the
basket without ever making contact with him.   The conclusion, says the
study, "Kidd loaded up on a large amount of protein before the game to
increase the severity of his flatulence thereby giving him an unfair
advantage over unsuspecting Laker defenders."   Over the course of the
interview process, researchers asked former and current players who they
would name as the worst on-court gas passers of all time. Boston Celtics
star Kevin McHale was the clear winner among former players. Recently
retired New York Knicks center Patrick Ewing won out among current players
who were polled, with Minnesota Timberwolves guard Latrell Sprewell a close
second.  The final report will not be issued until sometime next month, at
which time the NBA league office is expected to comment on its findings and
possibly address the issue with team owners at their next meeting in April.

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