Re: Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games

["Dan Forant" <dforant1@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Oh yeah, they should look into this list for ample amounts of gas...pass the
Metamucil..a warning should be given, open window before use.

DanF

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <wayray@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>

> Kevin McHale, the biggest polluter, so to say...
>
> Report: 65% of NBA Players Pass Gas During Games
>
>
> Written by B. Elliot Stern
>
> San Diego - The University of California San Diego Scripps Research Center
released a report today which states that 65% of NBA players pass gas during
games. "Over the course of the past two years we conducted a study that
included the viewing of thousands of hours of game footage in addition to
lengthy interviews with several hundred current and former NBA players.  The
preliminary results, which we are releasing today concludes that the passing
of gas during NBA contests has reached an alarmingly high percentage," said
research team leader, Dr. Robert Mason.  The detailed report goes on to
state that excessive flatulence during play could start to lead to the
outcome of games being affected.   As an example, a 2002 NBA contest between
the New Jersey Nets and Los Angeles Lakers is highlighted in the research
team's findings as one where point guard Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets
repeatedly passed gas while dribbling the ball up court to shake off
defenders who double te!
>  amed him. In one offensive sequence, the report notes that Kidd backed
down Lakers guard Derek Fisher all the way underneath the basket without
ever making contact with him.   The conclusion, says the study, "Kidd loaded
up on a large amount of protein before the game to increase the severity of
his flatulence thereby giving him an unfair advantage over unsuspecting
Laker defenders."   Over the course of the interview process, researchers
asked former and current players who they would name as the worst on-court
gas passers of all time. Boston Celtics star Kevin McHale was the clear
winner among former players. Recently retired New York Knicks center Patrick
Ewing won out among current players who were polled, with Minnesota
Timberwolves guard Latrell Sprewell a close second.  The final report will
not be issued until sometime next month, at which time the NBA league office
is expected to comment on its findings and possibly address the issue with
team owners at their next !
>  meeting in April.