this is as bad as it gets

["Josh Ozersky" <jozersky1@xxxxxxxxxx>]

I'm beginning to feel the old nihilism...hide the shoelaces...
this is just awful.  I'm used to the Celtics being unable to score.
But to let Shandon Anderson dominate us?  I really can't watch
this team much longer.  Meanwhile Antoine is flourishing for the
Mavs...I'm ready to eat drano.

Here's the new hoopsworld column:

This Can't Go On -- Or Can It?




I had planned to write this column earlier today.  I hoped to finally leaven
all this opinion and analysis with some actual reporting.  (That may have to
wait until next week.)  Beyond that, I was afraid the Celtics might make my
optimism look stupid by losing to the Knicks, at home, with the Knicks missing
their only two legitimate scorers.  So I waited...

And you know the rest.  The Celtics just lost to the Knicks.  They couldn't
score and they couldn't defend.  The worst fears of Celtics fans have finally
come true:  our offense is even worse than last year's, and we are no longer a
good defensive team.  Antoine at his most evil is better than this!  I can't
even stand to watch the Celtics these days, and I had League Pass in the Tim
Duncan year.  Things are bad.  Something has to give.

Or can it?

The problems with the Celtics aren't the kind that you can easily solve.  I
used to think that if we got rid of Kenny Anderson we would run.  Then I
thought that if Antoine were gonie we would run.  Now I think if Jim O'Brien
were gone we would run.  Maybe the team will never run again.  Is that a
possibility?  Or take Paul Pierce.  Eventually, he will learn how to pass
quickly out of triple teams.  Will he then go back to being an all-NBA type
scorer?  Or has that moment passed?  He's not injured.  He's trying hard.
He's had plenty of good looks.  What's going on?  I don't know, and neither
does Pierce.  What happened to our defense, our toughness, our team cohesion?
Did Antoine take it with him?  Again, who can say?

The one thing that's clear is that this can't go on.  However imperfect the
solution to the Celtics' malaise is, it is coming inexorably upon us, as
surely as death and taxes.  If the Celtics don't start winning games, scoring
the way they did a month ago, and playing top-tier defense, Danny Ainge will
be forced to trade for a scorer, fire O'Brien, or bag the season and let the
chips fall where they may.  I don't see that happening, and firing O'Brien
would essentially leave the Celtics in complete chaos.  So that leaves trading
for a scorer.  But what does that do?  It just adds more confusion; it weakens
the defense even more; and we lose more games.  Somehow, some way, the Celtics
have to play their way out of this fetid funk they have fallen into.  And if
they don't, they had better activate Kendrick Perkins and Brandon Hunter,
because I can't watch this kind of basketball if I don't think there is a
purpose behind it.

But in fact, I can't watch it at all.  It's just too painful.  We forgot what
it was like to have a bad team on our hands -- an offense that couldn't score,
and a defense that couldn't get stops.  Something has to give, and soon.
Let's just hope that the cure isn't worse than the disease.  Because as awful
as the Celtics have been, there is room for them to get much, much worse.

With that out of the way, here are five suggestions I would make for improving
the Celtics:



  1:  Practice with a 12-second shot clock.  Get the players into the habit of
getting shots off quickly.  In real games, there will be time to reset,
repost, and so forth.  But don't give them that luxury in practice.

  2:  Reward the most physical, aggressive players on defense with minutes,
and live with their mistakes and miscues on offense.   Develop them as a
"lockdown unit" with a special pride and identity, and people it with players,
like Brown, Hunter, and Banks, who have something to prove in the league.

  3:  Bring back the specialty drills in practice, such as the full-court pass
drill, which running teams use to get cheap baskets.  Practice 3-on-2s and
4-on-3s over and over over.  If this means not practicing standard offensive
sets, fine.  Get the team conversant with the habits of offensive basketball.

  4.  Run drills with Paul Pierce in which he is triple teamed and has to pass
out in less than two seconds.  Then run the drill with a one second whistle.

  5.  Change the offense so that Pierce never handles the ball more than 17
feet from the basket, and Vin Baker likewise.  Pierce cannot make things
happen when he is guarded at the three point line.  Baker's rebounding and
post play are likewise impacted by having him in the high post.  The offense
is a catastrophe anyway, so it makes sense to restructure it to get good shots
-- not the long jumpers by Tony Battie and Mark Blount that the Celtics
offense is currently subsisting on.

These are half-measures, I know, but the Celtics have to choose between
getting better and getting worse.  If they can't get better with more
committed and imaginative coaching, than there's nothing for it but to hand
Obie the mitten, trade for a Bonzi Wells type scorer, and lose the team
character and chemistry that still remains our only current hope for
improvement.  The Celtics were never the NBA's most talented team; all they
ever had was grit, tenacity, and an ability to grind out 85 points a game
(usually scoring the last six of those points with a minute to go.)  Without
that, we might as well head back to the lottery and start over from scratch.
And that's a prospect I just can't take right now.

How long, O Lord?  How long?