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They're NBA's Damn Yankees //////// Article
They're NBA's Damn Yankees
12:00 AM PST on Sunday, December 14, 2003
LOS ANGELES - When I was a kid, I had a picture book called "The Man Who
Batted 1.000."
Each page had a cartoon line drawing and a sentence or two. Easy reading
for a grade-schooler. It was about a baseball player who got a hit every
time up. Never made an out. Huge crowds came out to see this phenom. They
were delighted. They were amazed. They were thrilled.
And then they were bored.
After awhile they started grumbling. He was too good. There was no drama.
His hits were inevitable. Routine. He had drained the excitement out of it.
People started booing. In the end they chased him out of town.
I thought about the book when the Lakers went off on their most recent run
-- a 10-0 stretch that helped bring their home winning streak to 27 games,
dating back to last February.
Thank heavens the Lakers finally lost to Dallas at home Friday night. You
know, before the crowds chased them out of town.
Yeah, sure.
Any resemblance between "The Man Who Batted 1.000" and the Lakers would be
a lonely thought in a literary imagination. Lakers (and all) sports fans
not only love it when their team is dominant, dynastic and a predictable
winner, they get addicted to it. They want more. They don't chase
perfection out of town. They give it a parade.
There is, of course, the rest of the world. Those who aren't a part of
Lakers Nation don't get it. Those who are Clippers fans (yoo hoo, we know
you're out there somewhere), and San Antonio, New York and Boston fans, and
people like me who are paid not to be fans at all like a bit more mystery.
In a purist's way, basketball fans may grudgingly appreciate the awesome
edge the Lakers bring to the floor while, normally, annihilating the
opposition. But in another purist's way, they yawn at the predictability.
Of course, thankfully, the Lakers can't be perfect.
"This is the NBA," said Kobe Bryant, explaining away the Lakers' first loss
to Dallas at home in 13 years. "You can't win them all."
But they just might end up being as close as an NBA team can get. This is
only December, but the 18-3 start the Lakers were enjoying -- before Dallas
interrupted the dreaming -- had sparked talk of the Lakers surpassing the
Michael Jordan-led Chicago Bulls' record of 72-10 in 1995-96.
It may be early, but the talk isn't surprising. It's been part of the buzz
ever since perennial All-Stars Karl Malone and Gary Payton conspired in the
offseason to make this thing happen. After spending their careers (dating
back to the Magic Johnson Era) unable to beat the Lakers, they joined them,
sacrificing Brinks-truck money. Malone took a $17 million pay cut and
Payton a $7 million cut, to participate in a fairy tale of Los Angeles with
Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant.
Lakers fans couldn't believe their good fortune. Everyone else couldn't
believe the stacked deck.
It is taking some getting used to, seeing these four celebrated future Hall
of Famers (and the world's luckiest basketball player, Devean George)
playing together. At first it had the feel of one of those Something-Aid
rock concerts with Sting, Bruce Springsteen and Bono.
But slowly they are just becoming the 2003-04 Lakers, a team that seemingly
should win every time it really feels like it. The only obstacle appears to
be internal -- complacency or boredom, which Malone suggested may have
contributed to Friday's night's uninspired effort.
"We've been flirting with a game like this, and getting away with it," he
said. "We've been having (bad) practices. You still have to show up to
play, and we didn't do that. We deserved to lose."
As the Lakers chase history this season, there figure to be a few more
losses like that. But mostly there will be long strings of wins, especially
at home, where it is quite likely the Lakers will win nine of every 10
games they play there.
Or more. They may not lose again at home this year.
Even the New York Yankees, the only other major professional sports team so
synthetically constructed, win only two of every three games in their
dominating years, and not even three of four at home.
Watching the Lakers play a game at Staples Center, in person or on TV, is
more about performance than competition. With the current cast, it's closer
to art than sports.
It's the NBA as theatre. When you watch "Phantom of the Opera," you may see
a great performance or a so-so performance, but in the end, you know the
phantom will get his heart broken. It doesn't change.
When you watch the Lakers, you may see them play great or so-so, but the
outcomes are getting pretty close to "Phantom" percentages, too.
Just the way real-life fans like it.
Reach Gregg Patton at (909) 368-9533 or gpatton@xxxxxxx
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