Sports Guy Newsletter (7/19)

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Hey everyone,

I sent this out yesterday at around 3:00 but it doesn't appear as if
anyone received it... so if you get this twice, my apologies.

Hope you're all having a good summer. I've been busy refueling my
batteries, doing a little traveling, struggling with my sure-to-fail book,
working on my George Hamilton tan, getting ready to make the big ESPN move
and watching as many movies as humanly possible. 

My "Page Two" column starts next week on ESPN.com - the eventual schedule
will have me writing Tues-Wed-Fri, but those Tuesday columns will be
running on Monday for the next two weeks (July 23rd and July 30th). So if
you're scoring at home, my first Page Two column goes up this Monday. 

We still haven't figured out what to do with an ESPN e-mail address for
me... I'll keep you posted. Obviously I want to figure out a way where
people can e-mail comments and questions for "Ask Sports Guy" and
"Feedback," but we can't stick an e-mail address under every column
because ESPN gets too much traffic and it would be a cyber-nightmare.
Hopefully we can work out something like what Gammons has - one of those
"send a comment" templates - and that will work out for the time being.
The sptguy33@aol.com address has been closed since last month, if you
haven't figured that out already.

Here are some notes from my vacation... and yes, the pilot just turned off
the "No Babbling" sign. There might be an occasional typo in here so bear
with me:

*****

Went to San Diego for my buddy Bish's wedding at the end of last month.
Probably the nicest American city I've ever visited - perfect weather and
the people were beyond pleasant. They even have an outdoor mall downtown.
Can you believe that? An outdoor mall??? Everyone's just happy to be alive
out there, probably because the weather is so gorgeous and everyone looks
good and there's just no reason NOT to be happy. Every time I ever travel
out to the West Coast, I always get that "What the hell am I doing in
Massachusetts?" feeling and it doesn't go away for about two weeks. Then I
get used to the concrete, the humidity, the drilling and the swearing
again. Good times... good times.

*****

Stay tuned for two upcoming hires by 1510-AM that should make a big splash
- unfortunately I was sworn to secrecy and can't give you the names so
you'll just have to trust me. I'm giddy about this whole 1510 thing
because they have three things in place - 1) deep pockets, 2) people who
know what they're doing and 3) the Globe guys. I honestly think they can
challenge WEEI this winter once the Red Sox stop playing and the Celts get
off to a good start. And don't underestimate the Sean Grande hiring - not
only is he doing the Celtics play-by-play but he'll have a big hand in the
programming/content for the station. Everyone at WEEI respects him because
he's young, he's funny and he wrote many of the popular WEEI skits in the
mid/late-90's. They never should have allowed him to leave in the first
place.

The important thing here is that WEEI has become so freaking arrogant over
the last two years - they use a slew of people who don't belong on
drive-time radio (Johnson, Radatz, etc.) because they're cheap and make no
effort to come up with interesting programming ideas or anything. Look at
the "Big Show" right now - they don't even bother getting interesting
guests anymore because everyone there has gotten lazy (since ratings are
good and they're the only show in town). It's pretty sad when the
producers for the 10am-2pm work harder at getting good guests then the
drive time show does.

One other thing here: when I was working on the BSG site over the past few
years, I never had a chance to listen to WEEI that much because I was
always working on a column or links or something, but over the last few
weeks I've listened to a ton of it (driving to the Cape, driving to my
swingers club, driving to our Store 24 softball games and so on) and I
honestly can't believe how bad the "Big Show" is. It's absolutely
HORRENDOUS at times - people screaming at one another, people laughing at
jokes that aren't funny, every second that Pete Sheppard speaks and so on. 

What's Glenn Ordway thinking? He's obviously a bright guy and a superb
interviewer (when he wants to be), but he's surrounded by people who agree
with everything he says and refuse to challenge him in any way, shape or
form. It's almost like Ordway's saying, "Every day I'm the smartest guy on
my show and that's the way it should be, dammit!" The only person Ordway
seems to respect is Sean McAdam - he just bulldozes right over everyone
else. What a frustrating show. And yet Ordway has this amazing knack for
making it SEEM like it's an entertaining, lively show - in many ways,
that's his best radio skill. When he goes into a break and screams, "We've
got Johnson here, we've got Smerlas here!", he somehow makes it sound like
it's a big show. And he's convincing! I've stopped trying to figure it
out. Ordway's obviously smarter than all of us because we keep listening.

*****

I went to both Celtics games at UMass-Boston over the last two nights.
Since the local coverage was so piss-poor (as usual), here are some
unedited notes: 

Everyone in the organization is beyond fired up about Kedrick Brown
(phenomenal athlete, coachable, good instincts and so on) ... from what I
saw, he possesses so much athletic ability that it won't matter how raw he
is - he'll find his way on the court for 20-25 minutes somehow this season
... there's a good vibe coming from him - confident but not cocky ...
definitely has three-point range and can make that little tweener
10-footer ... should wreak havoc defensively in the press ... more
importantly, the other teams in the summer league have been buzzing about
him behind the scenes, a good sign ... 

KB jumps so high that he actually conserves his jumping during games - he
only really lets loose like 2-3 times because he jumps so high that he's
seemingly afraid to get hurt ... apparently he unleashes at least one
"WOW!" play per day during practices ... the young Dominique Wilkins and
the young Dan Majerle were two names that jumped to mind when I was
watching him (obviously he might not become nearly as good as either of
them) ... KB also has that same "lazy, loping along yet moving fast"
running style that MJ had ... anyway, you'll see for yourself in a couple
of months. I'm not sure how much he'll help this season but he'll
definitely be the most intriguing subplot ... put it this way: if you
wanted you wanted to bet me $100 at 5-to-1 odds that Kedrick Brown was
going to win the Rookie of the Year, I wouldn't take that bet ... I can't
emphasize enough how fired up people with the Celts are about him.

I actually liked Joe Johnson's game more than Kedrick's game ... totally
unselfish, smooth, can handle the ball in the open court, textbook jumper,
three-point range, basically everything they were looking for with that
10th pick ... JJ does a lot of the same things that Tim Thomas does, with
the added bonus that he's a better ballhandler ... looks like he can
create his own shot ... had a couple of mean crossovers ... much more
polished than I thought he would be ... guaranteed 30 minutes a game from
him next year ... I wouldn't be shocked if they played a crunch-time
lineup with Brown, Johnson, Walker, Pierce and one of the centers at some
point (point guards be damned).

As for Joe Forte, it was too hard to tell with him in a pickup game - he
needs to be coming off picks and stuff ... between Brown and Johnson,
there won't be enough minutes left for him anyway ... it didn't seem like
he was a good enough ballhandler to play point at this stage.

Also, Jerome Moiso looks just as lost as he did last year - don't buy all
this "he put on muscle and he's coming around!" talk floating from the
Celts camp (they're just being nice and trying to boost his self-esteem)
... Palacio looked terrible but that's not surprising - he doesn't have
the type of game that translates well to pickup games (for instance,
Khalid El-Amin's game is perfect because it's mostly one-on-one stuff) ...
speaking of El-Amin, no matter how good he looks, it won't matter because
they don't have a roster spot for him ... Mark Blount looked good, not
that it matters ... Kris Clack looked like Walter McCarty if Walter spent
the summer on the set of "Oz."

As for the rest of the summer league experience, well...

The refs were wearing shorts that made them look like extras in an
all-male porn movie ... Steve Bulpett was strutting around like he was the
Pope of UMass-Boston or a member of the Gaston family, even walking across
the court at halftime on Monday to talk with Jim OBrien ... GM Chris
Wallace has apparently inked a summer league clothing deal with Tommy
Bahama ... seen in the crowd: Vin Baker (wearing a giant pair of overalls)
and NBA ref Steve Javie (I fought off the urge to yell "Javie, you suck!"
for old time's sake) ... Garth Joseph!!!!! ... the "groupie factor" seemed
to be pretty high both nights ... I inadvertently sat one row in front of
Jerome Moiso's girlfriend on Monday night - she was telling her friend how
unhappy Jerome is in Boston because his confidence is low and he doesn't
think the coaching staff likes him (high comedy - I was dying to turn
around and say, "No really?") ... Kwame Brown looked like the real deal
... Billy Curley played for the Knicks team and has apparently aged in dog
years since college - he even made Mike Mardesich look good.

One more Celtics note: look for them to come to terms with Paul Pierce on
a contract extension within the next week or so. It's been in the works
for the last couple of weeks - seven years, $100 million-plus (not $71
million as the Globe reported today). 

*****

I have nothing interesting to say about the 2001 Red Sox - this season
took on a surreal vibe about five weeks ago and it's simply beyond
description at this point. If you're looking for a good Red Sox message
board, here's the link to the "Sons of Sam Horn" board - I've even made a
few posts there this summer: 

http://pub38.ezboard.com/fsonsofsamhornbostonredsox

Also, Allen St. John of the Village Voice wrote a column this week about
the apparent early decline of Derek Jeter... might cheer you up a little
during the Nomar-less/Pedro-less summer. Here's the link:

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0129/john.shtml

*****

Finally, I saw a bunch of movies over the past month (in the theater and
at home). Just for the record, I refused to see Pearl Harbor just out of
principle. I also avoided AI because I heard too many bad things. And I
haven't seen Memento yet but it's on my list. Some quick reviews of the
things I HAVE seen:

1. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS
Basically Point Break with cars, right down to the plot twists and the
mismatched guy who played Lance Harbor in Varsity Blues playing the Keanu
Reeves role (and showing about as much range) ... needless to say, I loved
it ... I think I'm on the Vin Diesel bandwagon ... the fastest I've ever
driven in my life was the ten minutes after I saw the "Fast and the
Furious" - I think I went 130 on the Tobin Bridge.
GRADE = B-plus

2. DUETS
I only agreed to rent this one because Bruce Paltrow (who created the
"White Shadow) directed it - I'll always support Team Paltrow ... I
enjoyed Huey Lewis's performance in the opening scene - unfortunately it's
all downhill from there ... dreadful and vaguely mesmerizing, like a
low-speed car crash.
GRADE = D

3. UNBREAKABLE
Painfully slow ... should have been better ... I liked the ending. I think
we need to pass a moratorium on all Jackson-Willis movies.
GRADE = C-plus. 

4. ANNIVERSARY PARTY
Artsy-farsty film ... I saw this one because Phoebe Cates and Reed
Rothschild were involved ... couldn't get past Alan Cumming being married
to a woman ... Jennifer Jason Leigh just seems like she has bad hygiene to
me - I've never been able to get past her performance in Single White
Female (it was too convincing)... on the bright side, Parker Posey got
naked ... on the flip side, she's put on a few since Kicking and Screaming
... Kevin Kline had a distracted "I'm only in this because Phoebe promised
Jennifer" vibe going ... Gwyneth Paltrow needs a new agent.
GRADE = C-plus.

5. FAMILY MAN
The Sports Gal was wearing the pants at Blockbuster last night when we
rented this baby ... it's actually pretty absorbing right up until the
final 15 minutes - even Game Six of the 86 Series didn't have an ending
this bad ... if Nic Cage turned down this part, John Travolta was all over
it ... good to see Tea Leoni working though.
GRADE = B-minus

6. SNATCH
Probably a bad choice for me since I don't like English people.
GRADE = D-minus.

7. THE SCORE
I liked this the first time around, when it was called "Heat" ... Marlon
Brando shouldn't act any more, it's that simple - he's grossly overweight
and he can barely speak (Marlon's next stop: "The Big Show"!) ... no
rational reason for Angela Bassett to be involved ... Ed Norton was superb
as always ... DeNiro mailed it in ... really slow first hour and a half -
bring lots of Red Bull ... the music was awful - like they pulled it from
a "Streets of San Francisco" episode ... good tension down the stretch,
lousy ending ... I felt angry when I left the theater for some reason.
GRADE = B-minus

8. STARTUP.COM
Tour-de-force.
GRADE = A-minus.

9. SWORDFISH
Hey, Halle Berry's boobs!
GRADE = 34C

10. PAY IT FORWARD
Get the gasoline and the matches ready.
GRADE = F

11. BOUNCE
Pour the gasoline on yourself, then light.
GRADE = F-minus

12. THE REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CASTING CHALLENGE
Okay, this wasn't a movie but it was probably the most entertaining thing
I watched all summer ... there's comedy, there's high comedy and then
there's Segun, the guy who wore cuticle gloves and mud masks ... how did
he NOT get selected??? what an outrage! ... I'm ashamed to admit that I
watched this show twice ... the two subsequent shows (RR and RW) got off
to pretty good starts as well, although I'm not sure there's anyone
redeeming on the Road Rules cast.

Can you tell I've been on vacation for too long?

See you next week on ESPN...

--THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE BSG


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