HoopsTV mock draft

[Thndrblt31@aol.com]

2000 NBA Draft 

1. New Jersey - Kenyon Martin - The Grand Kenyon’s the best baller in the 
pool and a sick fit opposite the Pale Rider. 

2. Vancouver - Stromile Swift - Vancouver, have some of Stromile. This cat 
actually wants to play up north and said "I can't see myself going any lower 
than #2." Cool. 

3. L.A. Clippers - Marcus Fizer - This dude is a load. Kinda like the Mailman 
with his game, including the scowl. 

4. Chicago – Chris Mihm - Jerry Krause went to so many Texas games to drool 
at Mihm from the stands, he's basically his girlfriend. 

5. Orlando (from Golden State) - Darius Miles - Flows and flushes in the open 
court. MJ sweats the self-proclaimed "King of East St. Louis." D-Miles might 
have the tightest tat we've ever seen - a panther coming over the skyline of 
East St. Louis wearing a crown that says "The King of East St. Louis." 

6. Atlanta - DerMarr Johnson - The Hawks need a lot, so they can’t pass on 
this stick wit’ skills. 

7. Chicago (from Washington) - Courtney Alexander – Teams 1 thru 6, take 
notice. Someday you’ll be sorry for sleepin’ on CA. 

8. Cleveland - Joel Przybilla - Joel’s been gettin’ his lift on since he 
bolted from Minnesota. He's bigger and stronger and scouts like what they’ve 
seen from this raw defensive presence. 

9. Houston – Mike Miller - Born and bred on the badass streets of South 
Dakota. Being taken more for what he could be than what he is. Mike, it 
wouldn't hurt to comb your hair once in a while though. 

10. Orlando (from Denver) - Iakovos Tsakalidis - Michael Doleac, thanks for 
playing. The Russian invasion is on. 

11. Boston - Olumide Oyedeji - "Hey, you're big. Can you block shots? Are you 
better than Tony Battie? Yes? Here's a Celtics jersey."  (LoL, good one)

12. Dallas - Jerome Moiso - France’s best import since Laetitia Casta somehow 
slips into lottery-land. 

13. Orlando – DeShawn Stevenson - A sick young athlete in the Magic Crew. 
Finally, Corey Maggette has someone to go see PG-13 movies with. 

14. Detroit - Keyon Dooling - The Pistons like his upside. Having a Grant 
Hill to pass to would make rookie life much easier, though wouldn't it? 

15. Milwaukee – Etan Thomas - Etan, you shot-blocking no O center, meet 
Ervin, a shot-blocking no O center. 

16. Sacramento - Morris Peterson - J Dub, get him the pill. Nick Anderson, 
you are now free to go far away. 

17. Seattle - Quentin Richardson - Like we said before, MJ says Q can play, 
so that’s good enough for us. 

18. L.A. Clippers - Speedy Claxton - Fast... faster... ludicrous speed. 

19. Charlotte - Mamadou N’diaye - Mamadou, Mama-Don't. Have a good time with 
this one Charlotte. 

20. Philadelphia - Chris Carrawell - Larry loves versatile players from 
winning programs. Hey that's great Chris, but can you get Allen to practice 
on time? 

21. Toronto - Erick Barkley - Alvin Williams, thanks for playing. Canada 
needs a little NY grit. 

22. New York - Mateen Cleaves - Everyone assumes he'll be better than Ward 
and Childs, but how many Heismans has Mateen ever won? 

23. Utah (via Miami) - Desmond Mason - The Jazz wouldn’t even begin to know 
how to use an athlete like D-Mase. 

24. Chicago (via SA) - Hidayet Turkoglu - The Turkish version of Predrag 
Stojakovic? 

25. Phoenix - Donnell Harvey - Get out tha way, D’s pullin’ the board. And 
there’s nothin’ you can do about it. 

26. Utah - Hanno Mottola - Hey, we liked this movie better the first time, 
when it was called "Scott Padgett.” 

27. Indiana - Jamaal Magloire - Jamaal, can you suit up now? Indy needs your 
6 fouls to use on the Diesel before it's too late. 

28. Portland - Jamal Crawford - Portland burns a pick gambling on JC 
developing into a dominant big point guard. 

29. L.A. Lakers - Justin Love - J-Love will be so much better pullin’ Js off 
the bench than Brian Shaw, it’s not even funny.