RE: Armchair Duce

["Michael Griffin" <mgriffin@rillc.com>]

I agree 100% with your post.  Keep the picks.  They could define the next
decade of Celtic basketball.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-celtics@igtc.com [mailto:owner-celtics@igtc.com]On Behalf Of
> Michael Gooen
> Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 9:02 AM
> To: celtics@igtc.com
> Subject: Armchair Duce
>
>
> Time for my yearly outpouring of unfettered optimism.  Well, perhaps not
> quite unfettered, but I actually do believe the glass is half-full this
> summer despite "Captain Queeg" Pitino's attempts to drain it.
>
> I consider it a refreshing change that Pitino and Wallace have NOT
> completely overhauled the roster.  Pitino was right about one thing during
> last season's rant -- the team has youth and considerable talent.  The key
> is harnessing it.
>
> Rick, if you're reading this, here's what I would do if I were you for the
> rest of the summer.
>
> 1.  Don't cry over lost free agents.  Tariq Abdul-Wahad?  Please.  He's
> played for three teams in three years; how has he helped them?  What does
> he give you that Calbert Cheaney (whom we all hope will be free of serious
> family issues this year) won't?  It's not as if Moiso needs an
> interpreter.  Let Tariq be Dan Issel's $40 million mistake.  Ron Mercer?
> Double please.  Granted, a humbled Ron, signed for the $2.25 million
> exception and willing to accept an instant offense off the bench role
> would have helped considerably.  But that simply wasn't in the cards.  If
> the Bulls really are giving him 6 years and $69 million as reported on
> ESPN, the joke's on them.  If they're giving him 4 years and $28 million
> (if I remember correctly, the amount the C's originally offered to Ron) as
> reported in the Chicago papers, the joke's on Ron.  Either way he isn't
> worth it and isn't necessary.  Paul Pierce is the two guard.
>
> 2.  SIGN DANNY FORTSON.  Unless the C's can get something of value back
> (and I'd rather get NOTHING than a millstone like Vinny Del Negro -- maybe
> Ron Artest from Chicago in a 3 way with Golden State?) and/or package some
> of their own contractual millstones (THE FOREMOST BEING KENNY "I CAN'T
> PLAY WITH PAUL PIERCE, I CAN'T PLAY WITH RON MERCER, I CAN'T PLAY WITH
> ANTOINE WALKER, ANYBODY NOTICE A PATTERN HERE?" ANDERSON), keep him.  How?
>  Seems to me Danny wants to play the 4, which he can do with the Warriors,
> and wants to get paid, which he can't unless the C's cooperate.  So make
> it clear -- Danny is the Celtics' starting power forward, getting 25-30
> minutes there (unless he fouls out) and playing center only in an
> emergency.  Give Danny a 4-5 year deal at Battie money, maybe a bit more.
> And here's the key -- GIVE HIM AN OPT-OUT AFTER TWO YEARS.  By that time,
> if he still wants to leave, Moiso may be ready (says the optimist in me).
>
> 3. Don't even THINK of trading draft picks unless they're lottery
> protected.  Probably shouldn't trade the 2001 picks anyway.  The value of
> those picks will only appreciate as the draft draws nearer.  If I were
> Paul Gaston, I'd sooner eat Rick's bloated contract for trading draft
> picks than for his failings on the court.  Give up a shot at Eddie
> Griffin, Eddy Curry or Dajuan Wagner and you won't have to jump off the BU
> Bridge.  There'll be a long line waiting to push you.
>
> 4. The key:  Antoine Walker.  Rick, stop yapping about his "top five
> potential" and his lack of a routine.  GIVE HIM a routine.  Give him a
> clearly defined role AS A SMALL FORWARD (albeit one who plays down low on
> offense).  Apologize to him for having waited three years to do so.  Move
> to Chicago for the summer.  Move into Antoine's friggin' house if you have
> to.  Give him the following mission:  get in shape (not "Karl Malone"
> shape or "Scottie Pippen" shape, just BASKETBALL shape, if for no other
> reason than sparing us all the sight of Antoine's bloated belly hanging
> over his baggy shorts on opening night).  Work on lateral quickness and
> study film of every other NBA small forward so that he'll be ready to
> guard them.  Work on free throw shooting (with 75-80% as the goal),
> mid-range shooting (NO THREES PERMITTED) and the development of one
> consistent low post move.  Do those things, Antoine, and it's a return
> trip to the All-Star Game, a likely playoff debut, and silence from those
> who disrespect you.  Fail to do those things, Antoine, and Adrian Griffin
> starts, you become Danny Fortson's highly overpaid backup and everyone
> gives up on you.  Maybe even my daughter.
>
> 5. Lose the headless chicken monkey outbreak.  Perhaps it'll work as a
> dance craze (maybe Walter McCarty can set it to music and perform it on
> "Soul Train", since he certainly hasn't shown that he and his $8 million
> contract belong on a BASKETBALL COURT).  However, it doesn't seem to stop
> NBA teams from scoring at will over the course of a game.  I have seen
> players on this team play defense.  I have seen Antoine Walker stop
> smaller players.  I have seen Paul Pierce eat opposing two guards (namely,
> Ron Mercer) for lunch.  I have seen Tony Battie thoroughly embarrass
> Antonio McDyess in the post.  I have even seen Kenny Anderson try.  It can
> be done, as long as you don't end up with Danny Fortson chasing Muggsy
> Bogues and Dana Barros bodying up to Shaq.
>
> There you have it, Rick.  NOW QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME WINING AND DINING
> RANDY BIMBOS AND GET BUSY.
>
> Michael Gooen
>
> P.S.  To avoid any possibility of a libel suit, let me emphasize that my
> use of the term "Randy Bimbos" refers to two extremely mediocre point
> guards rather than loose women -- though I'm not entirely sure which would
> help the Celtics less.
>
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