Sports Guy grades

[Josh Ozersky <josh_ozersky@yahoo.com>]

The Boston Sports guy has a really good column that he
updates all the time.  (I got it from Tom Murphy's
link.)  Here's his end of season grades:

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ANALYSIS: Reviewing the '99 Celts
Professor Sports Guy hands out his report card for
Coach P & the gang (5/5)

  SHARESend this page to a friend.

 VOTEWhat grade would you give coach/GM Rick Pitino
for the '99 season?
A
B
C
D
F


 MOREReturn to Boston's Sports Guy main. All in all,
it was an awful season.

How bad was it for Rick Pitino and the Boston Celtics
in the shortened 1999 season? Here's how bad it was:
Even M.L. Carr took a few shots at Coach P and his
team today in the Boston Globe... and nobody even
batted an eyelash. M.L. Carr taking shots at Coach P?
That's like Kate Moss making anorexic jokes about
Calista Flockhart.

Anyway, it's time for Professor Sports Guy to pull out
the grading book and hand out marks to the '99 Celts.
Some crucial factors involved in the grading system:

* Did the player perform to his maximum potential?
* Did the player improve as the year went along?
* Did the player give his best effort all season?
* Did the player show enough to make us excited about
his progress down the road?

Without further ado, here's Sports Guy's report card
(in alphabetical order):

KENNY ANDERSON - F-minus
Q - Can a basketball player be washed up at 29 years
old?

A - Yes.

In three months, we went from being excited to have
Kenny A. running the fast break to figuring out
convoluted ways for the Celts to trade him and
actually get live bodies back. Kenny was just
abominable from Day One. Offensively, he played
selfishly, he showed no leadership, he didn't get his
teammates involved and he didn't appear to know the
plays. Defensively, he couldn't guard Red Auerbach.
Emotionally, he got into rifts with teammates, coaches
and even fans. I keep waiting to see him on the "Jerry
Springer Show."

("Jer-ree! Jer-ree! Jer-ree!") 

Seriously, the Anderson saga was mind-boggling. His
teammates and coaches genuinely seemed to like him; if
anything, Kenny seemed to be giving 100-percent all
the time. He's just not good anymore. He lost it. Hey,
it happens to the best of us. For instance, the Sports
Dad lost it ten years ago... fortunately, he had
already remarried by then.

Two potential saving graces for Kenny here:

1. Somebody might be just dumb enough to trade for him
in the off-season, especially if Coach P keeps talking
him up like he has over the past few weeks.

That's always the kiss of death for a Pitino player.
Coach P praising one of his players is the NBA
equivalent of Joe Pesci getting "made" in "GoodFellas"
-- one minute you're walking into a house with a nice
suit on, the next minute you're lying face down on the
carpet with a smoking gunshot wound in the back of the
head (or you're traded to Toronto).

2. According to the rumor mill, Kenny's going through
a horrible divorce with his wife Tami -- you may
remember her as the gold-digging wanna-be singer from
"Real World L.A." After a shotgun wedding that
eventually resulted in two children, apparently Tami's
challenging the prenuptial agreement that was in place
and spending Kenny's money like water. This one's a 9
out of 10 on the "Messy Divorce" scale. Anyway,
supposedly that's affected Kenny both on and off the
court.

(The moral of the story here, as always: Women are
purely and simply evil.)

Regardless, Anderson has four more years on his
contract for a whopping $31 million. Can you imagine
if the Celts had to deal Ron Mercer this summer
because they couldn't afford him on the cap because of
Anderson's albatross contract?

If Pitino fails to turn this team around, the Anderson
deal will be his "Titanic." He gave up on a talented
(and cheap) young guard (Chauncey Billups) and a
respected veteran with a big contract (Dee Brown) for
a washed-up guard with bad knees and a washed-up
forward with bad knees (Popeye Jones). 

In the Pantheon of bad Boston deals, that's right up
there.

DANA BARROS - B-plus
Dana always kept his mouth shut, he never complained
about playing time, he always worked hard, he always
stayed in impeccable shape... and then when he finally
got a chance to play, he made the most of it. During
the last few weeks of the season, he was probably the
most valuable player on the team (remember, he was
playing hurt for the entire time). He even found time
to be the rumored "inside source" for Michael Holley's
Globe column that bashed Rick Pitino and mentioned the
"Pitino made Pierce cry" story (Mercer & Barros are
the two rumored sources).

Will Dana ever be a classic point guard? Probably not.
But he can do two things:

1. Make open jumpers.
2. Play defense.

On the '99 Celtics, that's good enough to make him the
best point guard on the team by default. It's hard to
believe that there isn't a contending NBA team out
there who could use Dana Barros for 15-20 minutes a
game.

(Hint to the 28 other NBA teams!)

TONY BATTIE - B-plus
Along with Potapenko and Pierce, the Battman was the
only silver lining in the '99 season for Celtics fans.
You could actually see him improve every game; the
Battman seems poised to blossom next year into a
high-energy, shot-blocking power forward (much like
Theo Ratliff did last year in Philadelphia in HIS
third season), especially if he can put on another 15
pounds of muscle.

Four notes here:

* The best thing about the Battman -- and the main
reason the Celts should keep him at all costs -- is
his energy. He never stops trying and he never stops
working. You want to talk "upside"? Tony Battie has
MAJOR upside. Remember, he's only 23 years-old.

(Dammit! I hated having to use that word twice!)

* Will there ever be a rational reason given why
Pitino tried to trade Battie to the Clippers for
Rodney "Pass the Flapjacks" Rogers before the trading
deadline? Even if it didn't happen, the very fact that
it almost happened makes me question "Rick Pitino The
GM" (as if the Anderson trade didn't already do that).

* I don't care how bad the team's cap problems are --
there's no rational excuse if the team trades Battie
this summer because they "don't think they can afford
him." Just shut up and sign the guy. Case closed.

* If the Fleet Center idiots are going to insist on
playing music DURING home games, could they at least
play the theme song from "Batman" after the Battman
blocks a shot? Would that be too much to ask? 
BRUCE BOWEN - D-minus
Lost his job as the "High-Energy 10th Man" to Greg
Minor. 'Nuff said. Let's hope Double B is renting in
the Boston area.

MARLON GARNETT - D-minus
Had some chances to make a mark near the end of the
season and didn't even leave a little bruise.

DAMON JONES - B-plus
Just the facts: Showed just about everything you would
ever want from a CBA point guard -- played selflessly,
got his teammates involved, pushed the ball upcourt,
gave 110% on defense, and even drained a few
long-range jumpers.

Here's a sad fact: In three months-plus, Damon Jones
was the only Celtics guard who ever consistently threw
good entry passes down low to the big men --
Potapenko, Battie and Walker -- and actually got them
the ball in the right place at the right time.

Here's a happy fact: Not since Sam Vincent have the
Celts had a better ass-slapper and chest-bumper on the
bench than Mr. Damon Jones. This guy gives Jack Haley
a run for his money.

Here's a simple fact: Coach P will find a place on the
team for DJ next year. This is a team that desperately
needs passion and personality, even if it coming from
the 12th spot on the bench. And if you think it's
far-fetched that a CBA player could step in and
contribute down the road for this team, remember these
names: Darrell Armstrong, Bo Outlaw, John Starks,
Anthony Mason, Nate Driggers (whoops, wrong list for
Nate!).

POPEYE JONES - INC
Why did the Celts sign an older player to a
three-year, $9 million contract when they knew that 1)
he was coming off major knee surgery, 2) the knee
hadn't healed yet and 3) he wouldn't be able to help
them this year?

Hmmmmm...

WALTER MCCARTY - D
Why did the Celts sign a limited role player to a
three-year, $9 million contract -- further tying up
their cap -- when they knew that Ron Mercer and Tony
Battie were eligible for contract extensions this
summer?

Hmmmmm...

One more note on Walter: This would have been an "F"
except for the fact that he played okay over the last
three weeks. He was even shooting the ball pretty well
-- well enough that the Celtics' ballboys were able to
remove their protective helmets during home games. The
Celts could definitely use his energy coming off the
bench next season in four-minute spurts... but not for
$3 million a year.

RON MERCER - C-minus
Here's what Ron Mercer can do: 
1. Make open jumpshots.
2. Play defense.
3. Fill the lane and finish on fast breaks.
4. Make one or two breathtaking shots per game.

Here's what Ron Mercer can't do: 
1. Create shots for his teammates.
2. Throw an entry pass to the low post.
3. Make a correct decision when he has the ball on a
fast break.
4. Make jumpshots if he's not open.
5. Rebound.
6. Differentiate between "a good shot" and a "bad
shot."

In short, he's no different than he was during his
rookie season. 

Is that his fault? Probably not. The lockout hampered
Ron Mercer's progress more than just about anyone in
basketball. And the Celtics need to realize that
before they give him away this summer. Personally, I
hope they keep him around -- even if it's at Kerry
Kittles money ($50 million for 7 years) -- because you
don't just give up on talented players in their
early-20's (a lesson they should have learned with the
Chauncey Billups fiasco). 

As someone who watched almost every game Ron Mercer
has played over the past two seasons -- many of them
in person (and some of them drunk) -- I can tell you
this: The guy doesn't have the slightest clue what
he's doing on a basketball court. Remember, Mercer
lacks Paul Pierce's innate instinct for the game; he's
would be much better off on a team with a good point
guard (to lead him around) and an enforcer (to protect
him when other teams are flinging him into the basket
support on drives). Everything that happened this
season was a worst-case scenario for Ron Mercer as a
basketball player -- no support system, no leadership,
no protection, and lots of losing.

With that said, remember two things:

FACT #1: Mercer left school after his sophomore year
in college.
FACT #2: If Mercer had stayed in school, he would be
the undisputed #1 pick in the draft this summer.

You don't give up on someone like that after 132 games
because you have "cap problems."

GREG MINOR - B
A pleasant surprise -- the only player on this team
besides Battie who actually improved over the course
of the season. If everything ever fell into place with
this team, Minor and McCarty would be a nice 1-2 punch
off the bench for 10-12 minutes a game. No pun
intended.

(All right! Domestic violence humor!)

PAUL PIERCE - A-minus
First, the good stuff:

#34 is the best player on the team... he's the best
all-around player the Celts have had since Reggie
Lewis... he's one of the best rookies in club
history... he has an innate instinct for the game that
can't be taught... he's the first Celtic since Dee
Brown to click with the Boston fans (and that only
happened in Dee's rookie year)... he's one of the best
rookie shooters I've ever seen... he took losing
incredibly hard, which is a good thing... throw away
the month of March -- when he was hampered by a bad
ankle sprain -- and he would have won the "Rookie of
the Year" Award.

Now, the bad stuff:

1. The rookie had a disturbing tendency to "drift" on
the court, which was also his rap at Kansas. This
needs to be fixed P-R-O-N-T-O. Whenever Pierce was on
the court with Mercer and Walker, he always seemed
content to be the third option, which is ridiculous.
If you're going to be a star in this league, you need
to demand the ball from time to time. Say what you
want about Walker, but you always know when he's on
the court. You couldn't say the same about Pierce this
season.

2. He needs to spend major time working on his
ballhandling, especially if he plans on spending some
time playing 2-guard next year. It doesn't matter how
fast your first step is -- and Pierce has one of the
best -- if you're blowing by your man and subsequently
dribbling the ball off your foot. The rook probably
cost himself 2-3 baskets a game with his ballhandling
because he couldn't finish his moves.

That's it. I mean, how can you criticize Paul Pierce
for more than two paragraphs? It's impossible!

(Note to Coach P: Trade him this summer and face the
wrath of the Sports Guy Mafia.)

RICK PITINO (coach) - D
Yeah, yeah... we know, Coach. The schedule killed you.
Pierce's injury hurt. You needed a big man for the
first six weeks. Popeye would have helped. Antoine was
a big fat load in February. And so on and so on...

With that said, Coach P screwed up ROYALLY in three
ways:

1. If the goal was to win games, than Dana Barros
should have been playing over Kenny Anderson from Day
One. No excuses. Barros was in better shape and he
actually tried to play defense. Sticking with Kenny as
long as Pitino did killed any chance of Gang Green
making the playoffs.

2. This team should have been pressing from the third
week of the season on (as soon as they had enough
healthy bodies). There wasn't enough practice time? So
what???? This team wasn't going anywhere anyway! They
could have used the second part of February to get in
shape with the press and then gotten stronger as the
second half of the season went on. As it was, Cyber
Twan didn't get in shape until Pitino finally said
"F**k it" in mid-March and started playing him 45
minutes a game and pressing all the time.

3. Where was the imagination? Where was the coaching?
Pitino seemed resigned to losing until the team
finally imploded in late-March and he finally
unleashed the press. What took so long? And why wasn't
Antoine played at point forward more during the
season? Again, what did they have to lose?

One other note: There's no reason why this team had to
lose so many double-digit games -- an amazing 19 in
all. That's just ridiculous. If anybody BUT Rick
Pitino were in charge, the Celtics would be searching
for a new coach this summer. That's a fact.

RICK PITINO (GM) - D
This is for the past two seasons, not just '99. Here's
why he gets a "D":

Good moves:
1. The Battie trade.
2. The Potapenko trade (which I'll defend until I
die).

No-brainers:
1. Drafting Pierce.
2. Drafting Mercer.

Bad moves:
1. The Knight/Mills signings from the summer of '97.
2. Shelling out a combined $19.5 million over the next
three years to Dwayne Schintzius, Popeye Jones and
Walter McCarty.

Indefensible move:
1. Even broaching the possibility of a "Battie for
Rogers" trade.

Catastrophic move:
1. The Anderson trade.

Do you realize that the Anderson trade might have
killed this franchise for the next few years,
especially if Boston is forced to trade either Mercer
or Battie this summer because of cap problems? Why
would they swing such a major deal without checking
out Anderson first -- namely that he couldn't play
defense anymore, he had an attitude problem and he had
bad wheels? More importantly, why would you give up on
a talented young player (Billups) and take on such a
question mark in return? How could they not have know
about Kenny's deficiencies?

Pitino was able to weasel his way out of the
Knight/Mills moves; weaseling his way out of the
Anderson albatross will take a miracle. And when
Pierce fell to #10 last summer, Pitino used up all his
miracles for the next few years.

VITALY POTAPENKO - A
Did the player perform to his maximum potential?
--Yes.

Did the player improve as the year went along?
--Yes.

Did the player give his best effort all season?
--Yes.

Did the player show enough to make us excited about
his progress down the road?
--Yes.

For further information, consult last week's Potapenko
column (HERE) or a tape of last Monday's Knicks game
(did Patrick Ewing EVER get good position down low in
that game?).

One more thing: Given Potapenko's problems holding
onto the basketball (the biggest thing he needs to
work on as a player), reader DDT9765392@aol.com
e-mailed in a suggestion -- "VP should have to carry a
basketball around with him ALL summer, just like
coaches have their fumble-prone halfbacks carry a
football with them from class to class." 

I like it! Can't you see Big V walking around Fanueil
Hall this summer holding a basketball in his hands?
Now THAT'S comedy.

ERIC RILEY - D-minus
Seems like a nice guy.

DWAYNE SCHINTZIUS - F
Seems like a clumsy guy.

ANTOINE WALKER -- C
If this were college, Antoine would have gotten an "F"
on a mid-term exam and an "A" on his Finals... making
him a "C" overall.

Quite simply, the rough treatment of the Boston fans
was the best thing AND the worst thing that happened
to Antoine Walker this season. Initially, the booing
was justified -- Cyber Twan showed up woefully
out-of-shape, he was incredibly selfish over the first
six weeks of the season, and he didn't seem to care if
the team won or lost as long as he got his numbers.
But the booing broke him down and turned him into a
better ballplayer. He realized five things:

1. He needed to get his teammates involved
offensively, even if it was at the expense of his
point total.
2. He needed to play hard for 48 minutes a game.
3. He needed to make rebounding and defense his top
priorities.
4. He needed to spend extra time working on his foul
shooting.
5. He needed to concentrate on his low-post game, not
three-pointers and ill-advised jumpers with 19 seconds
left on the shot-clock.

And he did it. He did all of it. From mid-March until
his injury in mid-April, Antoine Walker reminded
everyone why the Celtics signed him to a $71 million
contract extension -- because there isn't another
forward in the NBA who can do more positive things for
a basketball team. When Antoine is distributing the
ball, crashing the boards, scoring down low, playing
hard-nosed defense, and running the fast break in the
open floor, he's the most complete forward in
basketball this side of Grant Hill.

(And remember, he's only 22 years-old! For God's sake,
he's younger than Ron Mercer!)

Unfortunately, the majority of Celtics fans didn't
realize how hard Antoine was working to change his
game... hence, they kept booing him at home on
off-nights even when he was killing himself trying to
improve. That was inexcusable. 

The bottom line: Anyone who thinks the Celtics should
trade Antoine Walker is crazy. Forget about the
wiggle, forget about the way he played in February,
and forget about his contract. Just give him a chance
and let him play. 

With the way he improved his game over the second part
of the season, Antoine Walker deserves that much. 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Finally, here's some advice for Rick Pitino over the
summer:

* Hey Coach, add up the collective ages of Pierce,
Mercer and Walker.

(Did you do it? Good.)

The total is 67 -- that makes them seven years younger
than John Stockton + Karl Malone and 15 years younger
than Red Auerbach. Why would you want to trade any of
these guys when you haven't had the benefit of seeing
them play together for a full season?

* Remember when you "gave Kenny the night off" and
played in Orlando with Walker playing "point forward"
along with Pierce, Mercer, Battie and Potapenko? Over
a five-minute span before Walker got into foul
trouble, the C's looked as good as they have all year.
Yo Coach, you need to seriously think about giving
that lineup a longer look next season, especially
because Walker seems to thrive when he's running the
show and distributing the ball.

* The Battman needs to be out on the court for at
least 30 minutes a game, even if it means moving
Walker to small forward and moving Pierce to
off-guard. What about Mercer coming off the bench as a
sixth man? Wouldn't he be perfect in the "instant
offense" role, or am I crazy?

* Think about my reader's suggestion of having VP
carry the basketball around with him ALL summer. Might
be worth a shot.

* If you have to threaten Antoine's life to make sure
he comes into camp in shape next year, do it. We're
all behind you.

* If you're convinced Mercer wants to leave after next
season -- and it sure seems like you're spinning it
that way -- you need to trade him and make sure you
can dump Anderson in the same deal. Since the Clippers
have only four players under contract next year --
Troy Hudson, Michael Olowokandi, Brian Skinner and
Maurice Taylor -- would it be worth pursuing some sort
of deal where you trade Anderson AND Mercer in an
attempt to clear their cap? What if the Clips re-sign
Rodney Rogers and did a "sign-and-deal" for Anderson?
Would you have to throw in Mercer, too? Find this
stuff out please.

* If you're thinking about a "sign-and-trade" deal
where the Sonics sign Vin Baker and immediately trade
him for Walker (which would work under the cap),
remember that Baker played like a big wuss in the
playoffs last year. Also, remember that Walker's six
years younger than Baker... and he has a much bigger
upside.

(Dammit! I just used that word again!)

* Cool it with the over-coaching, would you? This
isn't college. Take a cue from Jerry Sloan and Phil
Jackson and pick your spots. These guys are supposed
to be professional athletes - give them a little
leeway, please.

* Finally, don't trade Paul Pierce. Don't even think
about it. 

I'm not kidding. 

Don't make me come down to Causeway Street with the
Sports Guy Mafia...





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