CelticsCenter for bskball.com

["Ozersky, Joshua A" <OzerskyJA@corning.com>]

Ordeal and Anticipation

Celtics fans are alternately irritable, exhilerated, hopeful, and
apprehensive on the eve of the a radically truncated NBA season.  As the
interminable NBA lockout finally ended, fans were presented with a two week
delay in which agents managed to inflict even further suffering with what
guard Ron Mercer called "the Lockout II."  Good news balmed our nerves,
however, before the league opened shop.  Two pieces in particular, one of
which was wholly unexpected.

The loss of Antoine Walker had been a psychic depth charge waiting to go off
in our minds for many months. I have discussed this in previous columns, and
looking back, it seems to me that all the doubt, aspersions, bitching about
shot selection, etc. was largely a defensive action to keep away panic and
dread.  Antoine is now signed, for considerably less than he might have
asked even under the new CBA, and talking like the square up G we all knew
him to be.  "If you can't live on 70 million dollars," Walker was quoted as
saying, "you shouldn't be living."  Amen!  Now if only we can enforce that
sentiment with hit men.

With Walker safely in the fold, fans just breathing easy got a sudden shock
of further good news:  much-loathed "banana boy" Travis Knight ( so called
because he called to mind Teddy Roosevelts remark, "I  could carve a better
man out of a banana," as well as an obvious physical resemblance to the
tropical fruit) has been shipped, along with his insane contract, for stud
F-C Tony Battie.  The late Don Leventhal had Battie ranked as the number one
center behind Tim Duncan, and although he is rough, he is a great athlete,
with a sweet shooting touch from fifteen feet, a huge wingspan, hungry-hippo
rebounding skills, and swift, swift legs.  Celtics fans will love this guy,
who is everything Banana Boy wasn't.  (In his new yellow Laker uniform,
Travis will look even more like a banana.)

This left a whole at center which the team hoped to fill with shotblocking
prodigy Michael Stewart, who once blocked nine shots in a game.  The guy
couldn't score, yet Celtics fans were rending their garments when he signed
with Toronto, who had made a wink wink deal to overpay him next year.
Meanwhile, Battie once blocked 8 shots in a game against the celtics, so
what' s the big deal?  As for the much needed physcial intimidator, the
Celtics went out and bought 7-3 behemoth Dwayne Schintzius, the short on
top, long on back failed white center.  The guy is there to lean on big
centers like Ewing, etc., and do goon work generally, but Celtics fans will
be surprised at his passing skills and finesse talent.  

Popeye Jones, the rugged rebounder and consummate professional, was also
inked.  Jones, with his maturity, boards, and defense,  is exactly what the
Celtics need.  The only problem is that he plays the same position as one
Antoine Walker.  So expect major lineup shuffling.  You might see Walker at
three or Jones at four, although there has to be major minutes for Paul
Pierce as well, perhaps at 2.

Ah, Paul Pierce!  Sweetest thought of all.  Out of nowhere , we got one of
the top three players in the draft, maybe the top player.  You would think
this would be cause for thanksgiving and exaltation, but no, we long
suffering celtics fans are quivering in our green boots.  With a big hole in
the middle, some pundits are predicting Pierce being moved for some
mediocrity with a big body.  That this would be an abomination can't be
stated strongly enough.  Not only is Pierce a sure fire 20 point scorer in
this league WHO KNOWS HOW TO PLAY, but he is nailed down for chump change
for five years to come.  I will take our four stars at positions 1 -4 and
let 5 take care of itself.  Who knows?  The celtics, if they don't squander
their riches, could end up as loaded as the Lakers, particularly if Battie
develops into a good, Parish-style running center.  

Still, not all fans are so optimistic.  This chilling summary, written for
the celtics email group by Jeremy Warren,  reflects the mental distress and
black humors so many of us have been victimized by.  Warren defined "bleak"
(as in our situation) as:

"Losing a free agent recruiting battle with Toronto
when they offer $1M for
one year; not having a legitimate center on your
roster when every other
team in your division does; resting the hopes of your
franchise on a west
coast up-tempo style when you're in an east coast
Bones-Thugs-N-Harmony
division; having no interior presence whatsoever;
playing only 5 of your
first 18 games at home; facing the very real
possibility of not making the
playoffs for the fourth year in a row; putting
band-aids (Popeye and
Battie) on cancerous tumors while division rivals
significantly improve
their teams; having no cap space for the next seven
years."


Needless to say, I don't share this pessimistic view.  I think our celtics,
especially given their off week in February in which to practice, will gel
and run and gun their way to leading the league in scoring, particularly if
we don't slit our wrists by trading Pierce for some big stiff.  The season
has started.  The clouds part.   The oracle is positive.  We're free at
last!
Joshua Ozersky
Marketing Communications
Environmental Products Division
Corning Incorporated.
HP-CB-02-C6A
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Phone:  (607) 974-8124
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