Instructions for the lottery

[Gene Kirkpatrick <gkir@tjc.tyler.cc.tx.us>]

Below are my instructions for increasing the Celts chances on Sunday.
Now, most of you will not have to practice, since you have some degree
of natural rhythm.  However, if the concept seems foreign to you, please
spend a few moments each day in practice.  As regards my expertise in
this area, I spent one summer with the Hopi and Navaho tribes in Eastern
New Mexico and, I can assure you, learned far more than this simple
technique.

Since our chances are in the range of 35%, our rhythmic involvement
should be based on a one, two, three pulse, as in a waltz.  Am I
assuming too much already?  First, inhale in one swift breath and then, in
short bursts, exhale for two counts.  In, out, out, in, out, out.  Now, I think
you've got it.

There's no need to actually do this until Sunday morning, since the
drawing is done just before the halftime event.  But each hour, on the
hour, all true Celts fans should create a positive updraft with this one,
two, three breathing exercise.  Although it carries no guarantee, it will
increase the likelihood of the Celtic card rising to the top as in a
crescendo accompanying our group effort.

Gene

P. S.  Of course, our chances are enhanced even more if at least some
of us go to church Sunday morning.  Just hope that your moment at the
communion table doesn't fall at the top of the hour.