Globe Pre-Season Predictions

[bob miller <bob@mymenus.com>]

Dug this up; might be good for a few chuckles:

Orlando may have some magic left

 By Peter May, Globe Staff, 09/08/96

 Training camps open in less than one month. A few big-name free agents are
still without work - at least for the time being. Bearing in mind that
further roster moves will take place and destinies may be altered, here is
the first of four weekly division previews, the Atlantic (teams are listed
in predicted order of finish):

 1. ORLANDO

 Last year's record: 60-22.

 Significant lossShaquille O'Neal.

 Significant additions: Felton Spencer, Derek Strong.

 Significant auditory gain: No more dunk sounds at the O-Rena.

 Significant ticket: March 23, Shaq's return.

 Team song: ``If Ever I Would Leave You.''

 Skinny: Shaq is the William Weld of pro basketball. All he wants to do is
drink Pepsi (play squash), wear Reeboks (hunt wild game) and have fun (run
for Senate). And remember what Shaq told us: He has won everywhere except
at the college and pro level. By last summer, even the blind zealots in
Hooterville had turned on the big guy to the point where the team received
21 season-ticket requests the day O'Neal signed with the Lakers. And that
was with a waiting list of 4,000. OK, the Magic aren't going to win a title
without O'Neal. But they still have the best player in the division in
Penny Hardaway, and we trust that coach Brian Hill will rejig things so
that everything runs through the multitalented guard. If things work out,
it could be enough to get the Magic another division title, especially
given their well-documented success as a regular-season juggernaut. Spencer
is more than plankton on the food chain, and Strong can provide decent
minutes off the bench. Orlando has to stay healthy, though. Otherwise, it
could be a swift descent.

 2. NEW YORK

 Last year's record: 47-35.

 Significant losses: Anthony Mason, Hubert Davis, Derek Harper.

 Significant additions: Larry Johnson, Allan Houston, Chris Childs, Buck
Williams, John Wallace.

 Significant business loss: Mason's barber.

 Team song: ``The Last Midnight.''

 Skinny: We have to assume that this team will be eminently more enjoyable
to watch than those of the last few years. The Knicks should be able to
score points - a painful exercise in the past - but they may have trouble
stopping others from scoring on them. Patrick Ewing is still in search of
the Big One - as is Charles Barkley - and it could well be a frustrating
season if things don't jell. This is New York, after all, and the pressure
will be on to win it all before Ewing calcifies at age 36. There are a lot
of big acquisitions here, which means GM Ernie Grunfeld and Garden guru
Dave Checketts are either locks for Executives of the Year or will be left
to become candidates to do spin control for Richard Morris. They also are
giving Childs a lot of money based on the fact that he had one good
half-season for a horrible team. And what, exactly, is the over/under on
John Starks' inevitable explosion?

 3. WASHINGTON

 Last year's record: 39-43.

 Significant losses: Juwan Howard (for three weeks), Jim McIlvaine, Mark
Price, Brent Price.

 Significant additions: Rod Strickland, Tracy Murray, Harvey Grant, Lorenzo
Williams.

 Significant addition by subtraction: Rasheed Wallace.

 Significant reimbursement by NBA: Juwan Howard.

 Team song: ``I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You.''

 Skinny: On paper, this may be the best team in the division. But the
Bullets are the ultimate mystery guest because of their unfortunate injury
history and the fact that they, like the Knicks, are undergoing a somewhat
radical shuffling of the deck. They have David Stern to thank for
reclaiming Howard. Now that he's back with the Bullets, Howard gives coach
Jim Lynam an enviable front line with the return of a healthy Chris Webber,
Gheorghe Muresan, Grant and Murray. The Bullets won't, as fellow Beltway
resident Bill Clinton might say, feel any pain over the loss of the
volatile, immature Wallace. Strickland, meanwhile, is a terrific player who
would be even better if he weren't such a pain in the you-know-where. And,
by the way, has he passed his physical yet? Cal Cheaney, the Bullets'
answer to Dee Brown, is back for another year but will be pressed by
Murray. They could go higher if everything clicks.

 4. MIAMI

 Last year's record: 42-40.

 Significant player losses: Juwan Howard, Walt Williams, Rex Chapman, Chris
Gatling.

 Significant other lossPat Riley's aura.

 Significant additions: Juwan Howard (for three weeks), Dan Majerle, P.J.
Brown.

 Team song: ``Wonderful World'' (the Sam Cooke version).

 Skinny: Riley was the clubhouse leader for Executive of the Year until
Stern did a Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Van Damme on the Heat's summer plan.
Howard was gone, and with him went Miami's hopes for a truly meaningful
season. The Heat still should be OK and make the playoffs, but that wasn't
what Riley had in mind when he backed up the yacht to sign Howard. Majerle,
one of the most overrated players in the game, still looks better than the
wildly inconsistent Chapman and also could see time at small forward if
Sasha Danilovic is fine, which he was at the Olympics. Tim Hardaway isn't
what he used to be, but what he is now is still better than Bimbo Coles.
Keith Askins also is a good role player. Miami is putting its money on
Alonzo Mourning (and in Mourning's pockets, too), and he has to deliver.
Otherwise, the Heat are in for a lot of misery.

 5. PHILADELPHIA

 Last season's record: 18-64.

 Significant losses: Nine players, none important.

 Insignificant losses: Nine players, all important.

 Significant player additions: Allen Iverson, Don MacLean, Michael Cage.

 Significant exhumation: Derrick Coleman.

 Possibly significant addition: New coaching staff.

 Possibly significant enticement: New arena.

 Team song: ``The Load Out.''

 Skinny: The Sixers did a top-to-bottom makeover after last year's
thrilling 18-win season. Gone are John Lucas and some of the borderliners
and miscreants. Arriving are Johnny Davis, Pat Croce, Brad Greenburg, Ed
Badger and more than a few players who made heartfelt contributions to the
cause. But let's start with a fivesome of Iverson, Coleman, Cage, Jerry
Stackhouse and Clarence Weatherspoon. Throw in MacLean and a healthy Scott
Williams off the bench, and you've at least got the look of something.
Whether the mirror breaks is another matter, and the potential is there for
a mass shattering of glass. There has to be improvement, something the
Sixers have been unable to achieve in the last five years. They have some
building blocks, a new coach, a new arena, a new management team and who
knows what else? This is a team that went through 24 players last year -
1.3 players per victory.

 6. BOSTON

 Last year's record: 33-49.

 Significant lossEric Montross.

 Significant additions: Frank Brickowski, Antoine Walker.

 Significant status quo: M.L. Carr.

 Significant AARP decision: Alton Lister.

 Team Song: ``Hakuna Matata.''

 Skinny: Are the Celtics any better off now than they were a year ago?
That's not the question you want to have to ask after a 33-win lottery-pick
season. Walker is, by all accounts, an attractive choice, and such a strong
player that the Celtics were able to put off re-signing Junior Burrough. To
get him, however, the team gave up Montross, creating a hole in the middle
that hasn't been seriously addressed. (You should hear the reaction around
the league when the Lister/Brickowski center tandem is mentioned.) And
Montross was a lottery pick; those kind of players are supposed to be
building blocks, not commodities after one subpar season. Beyond Walker,
there isn't much there that wasn't there last season. Who plays shooting
guard? Where does Dee Brown go? Does Todd Day need directions to the
airport (hint: take the Pike east and follow the signs)? Will Brickowski's
tenuous state - he doesn't practice, according to two of his many former
employers - make him unavailable by January? Will Pervis Ellison deliver
more than a handful of ``teaser'' games that make you wonder why he can't
do it more often? Too many questions.

 7. NEW JERSEY

 Record last year: 30-52.

 Significant losses: Armon Gilliam, Chris Childs, P.J. Brown.

 Significant additions: Robert Pack, David Benoit, Kerry Kittles, Vincent
Askew.

 Most expensive addition: John Calipari.

 Most significant Italian food gourmet addition: Don Casey.

 Team song: ``Ballad of a Thin Man.''

 Skinny: The Nets failed (again) to make the playoffs, had no luck in the
lottery and then went 0 for 3 in free agent re-signings, mainly because of
budgetary constrictions. Talk about your productive summer! But, hey, why
pay the point guard more than the coach? If Pack is healthy, however, he
could easily make up for the loss of Childs. Brown and Gilliam are harder
to replace, both for scoring and rebounding. Calipari does have human straw
Shawn Bradley as his middle man and Jayson Williams as a valuable
frontcourt asset. Kendall Gill must recover to help with the scoring and
Askew has proven to be a helpful role player when he isn't whining, which
he did last year during the Finals. Benoit was given every chance to make
it in Utah and couldn't do it. Coach Cal is looking down the road and
that's wise, because the short-term picture looks like Phyllis Diller
before the facelift.



Bob Miller
bob@mymenus.com
http://www.mymenus.com/
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