settling off-list

[Sroundtable@xxxxxxx]

> I'm not sure that trying to settle things off list is the best way, MC.  As 
> Kevin says, it tends to involve families, and can often be mis-interpreted 
> as harassment, especially when the info offered privately later makes a 
> debut on the list.  Plus, I find that most people are concerned with 
> appearances on the list, and they want everyone to consider them "right" and 
> not just the person they're arguing with.  Now and then two folks will write 
> in and say they've settled something off list, but it 
> doesn't happen very 
> often.

I have to admit, I had NO idea that Kevin shared an e-mail acct with his wife and that his wife might be checking and reading his e-mails.  Had I known that, or had he told me that right off, I would have specifically addressed them to Kevin.  It was a very long time ago that this happened, but if she was offended or hurt in any way, I am sorry.  I would like to re-read the e-mails I sent at some point, for I can't really remember them.  Kevin, I would appreciate your sending them to me if you have them saved somewhere (though I doubt you did).  I honestly don't remember what the whole dispute was about, but I am sure I didn't just start sending profanity-laced e-mails over some normal, on-list debate.

In any event, Keets, I am not looking to settle things with Kevin off-list to then announce to the world that we have made up.  I want to resolve it because I don't enjoy having to endure constant personal attacks when I have vowed not to respond in kind.  I WILL not resort to name-calling as a fight fire with fire defense, and I know better than to try to playfully jab at those whom I dislike or who dislike me.  That's instigating and I have and will live up to my promise of 18 months ago to cease that behavior.

Kevin has summarily rejected my offer of peace, ignoring my promise to resign if I curse or insult or attack in ANY way.  I guess he enjoys fighting with me too much.  It's the only explanation I have.  He will continue to insult and I will remain on my best bahavior.  I was hoping to get past it so that K and I could have a good laugh over it all and get to the point where little digs are are taken lightly and with good humor.  K isn't interested, I'm sad to say.

The issue is over... for me, anyway.

Mc