Re: scary stuff

[Joe Lewinski <lewinski@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Hello,

I thought for a while before posting this.   I really have better stuff to
do than stick my nose into a cyber rift.   But I feel qualified because
I know all the characters - yes we're all characters - and I also feel
I can shed some important light on the subject, having emerged
successfully from nasty arguments in the past - on both sides of the
fault line too.

Jeff sent an informative post with some interesting points in it.   Good
ideas to think about, especially the ones about how we need to cut Pete
some much needed slack (even if he is not our *hero*).   Throughout
the post Jeff made remarks about Kevin and Scott, and a final remark
that although he has a common feeling with Mark on this subject he
is not in agreement with Mark.

While I enjoy this forum, and it has become part of my routine, I can leave
and still have a complete life full of joy, challenges and pain....  After
all, I used to be a wanker nearly everyday, but managed to cut back
recently.    I stay HERE because I like the discussion and the people.  Mostly
the discussion, but the people have won me over.   The characters, or my
cyber friends are all real people with real lives.  I know that.  I respect
that.   Some have good days, some have bad...blah, blah....blah!'

I am fortunate enough to have a loving family with lots of friends that meet
my needs in various areas.  Some are into sports, some are into computers,
dogs, astronomy, cars, raising children;  Some are into THE WHO.   That's
HERE for me.  Sure, I wince at some of the posts and skip others - not
many though - overall I enjoy the whole as a sum of its parts.   It meets
my WHO needs.   Some listers have gone out of their way for me in the
past, and crossed the line to friendship.  That's a wonderful thing.  Not 
expected,
but it's really nice.

What I'm saying is that I like all of you (Mark, Scott, Kevin and Jeff)  - 
yeah Jeff,
you have to stay there inside the parenthesis with the other three!  I like 
all of
you for your ideas and different perspectives.   I'm not intimidated by any of
you, and your words cannot hurt me.  I'm quite tall and fast so don't @$!% with
me. ;-o

Is Mark going to acknowledge and apologize for the hurt you feel from what
ever he did to start the rift between you two, and then the insults he posted
during your heated exchange?   I don't think so.  I could be wrong, but I sense
that there is a different VALUE system at play here.  It's a shame that we all
don't have the same value system for times like these, but we don't.  So
you can vent your pain and anger if it helps you deal with it, but if you are
expecting it will bring about an epiphany followed by apology, it's not coming.

Kevin and Scott are two separate people that happen to be good friends.  They
have more than THE WHO in common.  They both post frequently, they
post some really good ideas, along with some real shit!  The good far outweighs
the bad.  I've seen them retract statements, make apologies even.
They're as emotional about THE WHO as I am in other forums.   Have they 
lost perspective about Pete's problem.  I am not a good judge here, because 
I think
an awful lot about how his life has been damaged, and I think it's because 
part
of me has been damaged too.   If there is any validity to my feelings, then 
it's
possible for other people to have more intense feelings too.

I really don't think that Kevin or Scott are scary, they are just 
responding to news
and posts by Pete.    Pete's recovery process is slow.  I wasn't following 
when
he was addicted to alcohol or drugs, but there was a slow process of 
realization
before there was any recovery.   We are all lucky that Pete has been 
functioning
in a relatively stable range in his later years.   It's lead to some great 
performances
and unprecedented access to him.    Because we have access to him either
through his personally diaries or through the press, our relationship can 
become
more intense.   For some of us when Pete gets a cold, we get the flu.   Have we
lost perspective, are we addicted?   Probably.  It could be much worse though.

Is it Kevin's and Scott's intense reactions (that I don't read as hostile, 
by the way),
or something else?   Is Kevin in league with Mark, and is Scott in league with
Kevin?   Nobody's in league with anybody here.

Mark says many things that
I disagree with.  Sometimes *I think* what he posts is utter shit.  Which 
is to say
that I disagree with what he had to say.  He is very knowledgeable about 
Music.   I've
shared music with him.  He has been generous with me in the past.
He is due his opinion because it is tied to something concrete like the ebb 
ad flow
of CDs through his store.    He's mentioned bands that I didn't know existed.

Kevin and I have conducted business successfully for several concerts.  I think
he's a good person every though I don't agree with everything he says or does.
I enjoy reading what he has to say and look forward to hanging out with him.

Scott appears to be the least harmful of all of us characters.  He never minces
words.  I find his honest posts refreshing, and often presents perspectives 
that
have me nodding my head.

Jeff, you have great qualities too.  Resentment is not one of them though.  I'm
risking alienation with you by posting this, but hope my expression here is 
taken
for what it's worth.  I want to acknowledge that you were deeply hurt by the
actions, inactions, words or silence of some people on this list, but I want to
urge you to put it behind you and take the good *juice* that is offered here.

I don't regard any of you as inferior or superior to me.   I'm just trying to
contribute some perspective that I've received in spades by fellow listers over
the years.


"I've had enough of being nice.
I've had enough of right and wrong
I've had enough of try'in to love my brother....

...Life is for the living...."

Here's another

"Once it was just innocence, fresh ideas and insolence,
 but you will never get away with the things you say today.
But you can cry, if you want.

Don't you get embarrassed when you read the precious things you said.
Many many years ago when life appeared rosy read....."
Cry, if you want"

Joe in Philly - Now wishing that I hadn't written this