[no subject]

Johanna, I have had many things attack me, as have many others.  I have 
suffered the loss of many loved ones in my life and I have lost many things 
that are precious to me-through no apparent fault of my own. My mother died 
when I was a little boy.  My sister was killed by a drunk driver.  I lost the 
wife that I really loved. (She is my friend now by the way and one of my 
biggest helps in life and I really like her husband too.) Blah Blah Blah... 
Many feelings attack us.  But they are not real. You don't have to believe in 
them. 

This year I lost all that I have worked for 20 years for. If I did not know 
Who I know, I would be devastated and depressed.  But I am not depressed.  I 
am so thankful for this!! 

As they took my last truck away down my driveway-my *baby*, The  Red F350 4x4 
diesel  pickup with the killer stereo and 350hp powerpack engine and all of 
the goodies, I did not even look back.  At this point I had NO truck, or car 
for that matter. Ford was ruthless even though I had bought and paid off 9 
straight cars and trucks with them over the years.  I went into the house and 
my heroin addict wife told me "They can take your truck, but they cannot take 
the Lord away from you."  

I started to read in my book where I left off (The Overcoming Life) and I 
read this: "He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power 
is perfected in weakness.  Most gladly therefore I will rather boast in my 
weakness that the power of  Christ might tabernacle over me." 2 Cor. 2:19  
Watchman Nee then added: "Weakness is something that one should boast in.  
You may have said,' Thank and praise the Lord because He has made me 
overcome,' but have you ever said, 'Thank and praise the Lord because he has 
made me fail miserably'?  You thank and praise the Lord for giving you 
patience, but have you thanked and praised Him for your impossible temper?  
Have you thanked and praised him for your pride?  Have you thanked and 
praised Him for your jealousy?    Have you thanked and praised Him for your 
uncleanness within and for your sin? If you have these problems, you should 
thank and praise the Lord for them.  The first thing you must do is realize 
that you cannot make it. The second thing you should do is give up trying to 
make it.  The third thing you should do is thank and praise God for not being 
able to  make it. At this point, God will make it for you.  Halleluiah, I 
cannot make it!!"  Vickie and I shouted this out loud and danced with joy.

It is a blessing to be weak.  To be so strong and successful makes it very 
difficult to get the enormous help of God.  He wants to *be* everything to 
us.  But we often do not want Him.  So we stay us. We all have won the lotto 
and have the winning ticket, but because we do not believe it, we do not cash 
it in. So we just stay spiritually broke.  Johanna, you are very special.  
Now you can hear Him.  You have nothing to lose and that makes you a very 
dangerous person to the enemy.  Your heart is free now. Now God can do his 
thing.  He will undo everything that was done *to* you.  You can trust Him 
forever.  Vickie, my wife, thanked the Lord for her heroin addiction. The 
chains fell off of her for the first time in her life. Her spiritual eyes 
were opened and she instantly realized that she was precious to Him and did 
not believe that she was a "bum"any longer. Her dad threw her in the trash at 
7 years old.  Many people did unspeakable things to her from this age onward. 
 Her tears came down at this revelation from God and the power underneath the 
drug was shattered.  She has some things to clear up, but she is full of hope 
now.  Her humanity is now being restored. She knows her sprirt and no one can 
ever take that away from her.  Or you, Johanna.  God is not limited by time 
or space.  He is only limited by our willingness to open to Him.  This is an 
individual matter.  I have lost many things learning this lesson, but 
gradually I am becoming rich.  The things I lost cannot compare to Him. 

"I'd gladly lose me to find You."   I call that a Bargain.  The best I ever 
had.

Jon in Mi.