THE OX

["Scott Schrade" <schrade@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

What can be said at a time like this?  What can be said that doesn't
sound hollow, absurd, or useless?

Why do I feel like I have to say *something?*  Why am I stuck for
words?

I tried to play a Who CD.  Fillmore '68 boot.  I had to stop it after
a few songs.

I tried to listen to a string of Who songs on a local radio station.  I
turned the radio off.

I'm numb.  I'm in shock.  I'm confused.  I'm tired.  I'm not sleepy.
I want to talk to people.  I don't want to talk to anyone.  I *haven't*
talked to anyone, except for this.  Whatever this is.

I feel a notch lower.  I feel chopped.  I'm less whole than I was five
hours ago.  I'm having to prop my head up with my hands.

God, did I love watching that man play.  He's the first member of 
The Who I ever saw play live.  Cleveland 1988.  I met him that day, 
too.

I shook his hand, got his autograph, & asked if he was gonna include
"Heaven & Hell" in the set.  "Something similar," he responded.

When I finally got tickets to see The Who's Cleveland show in '89
I thought to myself, "This'll be my chance to soak up live Daltrey &
live Pete.

When the show started, I was surprised at how hard it was NOT to
watch The OX!  There was Daltrey & Townshend, right there!  Yet,
watching The OX seemed satisfying enough.  Daltrey & Townshend
wold have to settle for prolonged glances - homebase was The OX.

"Tragic" is an adjective that's gets used a lot these days.  But what 
else can describe this horrible, unexpected event?  And at a time when 
so much seemed to be just beyond the horizon for The Who.

I don't want to go over all the ramifications.  We know.

I'm still stunned.  I don't want to have to answer people's questions.
I don't want to hear people make light of the situation, hoping to cheer
me up in some impossible way.

Most don't understand our obsession so they sure as hell aren't gonna
understand our grief.  I don't wanna have to walk away from people.
I need to be left alone.

Is this really happening?  Is it a nightmare?  Is it too late to jump over
to the other dimension where John is still alive & all is well?

It'd be nice to imagine Keith & John having a drink at a bar somewhere.
Somewhere "up there."  But I don't hold a belief in any kind of "afterlife," 
so there's no comfort for me in nonesense like that.

What to do.......

Well, we will go on.  We will remember.  We will proclaim his great-
ness at every opportunity.  We will crank his & The Who's music.
We will offer evidence of his amazing skills to people, & allow others to
share in his staggering, unbelievable talent.

We know *we're* not gonna forget.  So let's make sure no one else 
will either.

Goodbye, OX.  You were always the best.  We'll make sure people
know.  You've supplied the music, now it's up to *us* to make their ears 
bleed.  We won't let you down.

Goodbye, OX.  

Goodbye.


- SCHRADE in Akron