The World's Greatest Retirement Band

["Whooooo!" <whoooo@labyrinth.net>]

    I have just returned from my weekend in Chicago, driving 8 1/2 hours
each way, and I must now post something that is painful for me to say:
my impression of the HOB Friday show is somewhere in between the
giddyish lister-reviews and the opinion by the moron at the Sun Times.
In fact, an objective review would have to average these opinions.
    First, the biggest reason why my impression of the show is a little
deflated is the way it was billed by the Vegas Diciphles -- you know, as
being the "Old Who."  To those of you who have not seen either Vegas or
Chicago, I ask that you NOT take seriously the suggestion that the Who
are sounding as good as they did in their peak period. The stuff you
have read about the Who charity shows being as good as the 79/80 tour,
or even Daltrey's purported suggestion that they haven't been this good
since '75, is a bunch of crap. This is still the Retirement Who playing
in the retirement period -- and they are, unfortunately, getting much
older.
    I want to be clear about what I am saying: had I entered HOB knowing
nothing about the Scriptures of Vegas, I, too, would have left Chicago
as a stunned and voiceful town-crier for the faithful. I would have
proclaimed my heavenly sighting to all of you.  After all, the Who in
Chicago were obnoxiously loud, played forever; the setlist was
immaculate; every seat the in house was good; and some of the moments
literally blew me away. And to that end, I can categorically state that
this was the best retirement gig any group will ever put on. It was
better than Who '89 and Who 96/97 by far.
    But that's where it ends, folks. This show didn't come close to the
79/80 performances, and whether it was better than '82 is something that
could bring reasonably disagreeing who fans to blows. It was an
incredible show -- one which should get them another title ("World's
Greatest Retirement Band") -- but that is where it ends. If  the Who
want to go further and truly recapture their old form in order to cut a
new album, they still have work to do
    Some categorical observations:

VOLUME

    I don't think non-attendees really understand what the volume was
like. This was not only the loudest concert I have ever heard, I think
it was the loudest sustained noise to which I have ever been exposed!
Right now, my right ear still rings when I am in quiet places as a
result of attending Friday's show. It sounded like a freight train was
running through my head Friday night when I went to bed. Unbelievably
loud!

SOUND QUALITY

    This may be the biggest thing along with Father Time which is
keeping the Who from being  the Old Who. Pete insists on playing
lightweight fender guitars with single-coil pick ups -- plugged into a
Highwatt Amp! (uuuggg) -- presumably because he can solo better with
that setup. The sound coming from his guitar seems like a mixture of
the '82 sound when he was using telecasters and schecters, and the '68
era when he was playing a strat at the Filmore. It's kind of  like the
guitar sound on the remixed Run Run Run, the opening track to A Quick
One.
    The problem with this guitar sound is that it does not marry
properly with the sound coming from John's gargantuan stack  Entwistle's
deep and melodic bass is the cornerstone of the classic Who sound. The
fenders which Pete keeps using are just too thin to be cranked up so
obnoxiously loud in order to compete with John's bass. The guitar does
nothing more than pierce the ears and sharply cut through the bass,
instead of being more harmonious with it and giving the feeling like the
sounds are bouncing off one another.  Most people who play fenders don't
have John Entwistle to compete with. A guitar with double-coil pick ups
would be better, and, of course, a doctored Les Paul from the days of
old would be the best. That is what gave the Who that magical
"roar"-sounding noise which we all know and love. Now, were stuck with
that piercing fender sound that so hurt the Who in 1982 and probably
didn't favor them in the pre-Tommy years.
    Either lose the strat, Pete, or stick humbuckers in it.  The
Retirement Who will be one step closer to recapturing their old form
once the Bird Man gets an equipment change.

AGING

    This is now a major concern which can't be ignored any longer.
These guys look like grandfathers -- and perhaps they already are.
Entwistle, in particular, looked like death when he first took the
stage. He looked sick and frail. At times he looked like he couldn't
hear the music nor find the right cues he needed on stage. He often
looked confused and frustrated.  He thankfully proved, however, that his
fingers are still the greatest ever in the bus -- his solo on 5:15 was
nothing less than the greatest display of musical prowess ever seen on
the planet. I never even conceived that the bass as an instrument could
be played that way.  Totally unbelievable.
    Roger is having his problems, too. Aside from screwing up lyrics
throughout the whole night -- you know, like, every three songs or so --
his face looks fatter and his voice isn't right. Rog's voice was always
a glorious centerpiece in the mayhem which surrounded him, but now it
seems like he can't be as loud as he wants, and he certainly is not
hitting the higher notes. In fact, his whole voice seems a little low in
tone and not as robust in volume.  They gotta do something in the mix to
help him out. Maybe turn his mike a little higher so he doesn't have to
struggle.
    And then, of course, there is Pete. While I am amazed at how
proficient Pete has become as a solo player, that doesn't change the
fact that he looks terrible. His face is pale, his head looks like an
eggshell, his waste is getting fat again, and he wears a scowl on his
puss that is befitting only of those locked in a retirement home. On top
of that, he dresses in a white, untucked shirt. Doesn't he have a
consultant for this shit for Christ sake?
    If these guys are serious about being anything but The Retirement
Who, they gotta do something about their looks. Rog needs to get in the
gym, and Pete's gotta watch his weight and maybe grow some facial hair
or something.  Pete looked much better on the Maximum R & B video --
maybe he should go back to that sort of thing.
    Who knows, maybe they should all take some growth hormone. The point
is that they need to make a better impression if they want to release a
new album in the spirit of the glory days. Otherwise, if they are
content with just being a retirement act, they could save the album and
keep doing "celebration" tours.

A BRIEF RETURN OF THE OLD WHO

    I must give glorious praise where it is due:  If there is an
argument that the Who returned to their old form in Chicago, it would be
made toward the end of the regular set, before the encore. The Who's
performance of Eminence Front, 5:15, and Who Are You were simply
stunning. The version of 5:15 in particular had to be the best take on
that song I have ever heard. It is almost as if God entered the venue to
lift the band into their glorious past. Pete's guitar work on Who are
You was also stunning, and Eminence Front was an all-around powerful
display. These three songs were by far completely mesmerizing. I might
give an honorable mention to WGFA -- it was pretty awesome, too.


PASSING THOUGHTS

    Having made my point that the Who has just performed the greatest
retirement shows ever in band's history as a retirement band, and having
suggested ways in which the Who could recapture the Beast of the '70s, I
want to share some off-topic observations about the show:

    (1) PETE AND ROGER'S RELATIONSHIP

    Early on, I saw Pete begin to curse beneath his breath when Roger
was screwing up lyrics.  Later on, when everyone loosened up -- when
Pete began to smile -- Pete joked with Roger about his harmonica solo,
putting his arm around him, and later made pleasant remarks to him after
Roger gave a very-shakey rendition of Johnny Cash. It was almost as if
Pete was trying to soothe Roger about the performance. And of course,
the hugged at the end. I don't think any of this was stagecraft -- I
think they are getting along fine.

    (2) PETE'S FORGOTTEN LYRICS???

    I don't think listers have this one right. My take on Legal Matter
was that Pete stopped singing on purpose because he wanted to inject
commentary about his failed marriage. He stopped right before the
critical stanza, looking as if thought had just become him, saying:
"Hey, I can relate to this!" He then talked about getting married at age
19, only one year after he had sex for the first time. When he was done
relating that, he sung the stanza perfectly --  I don't think he ever
forgot it in the first place.

    (3) WHAT KEY PETE?

    Did any of you see how hilarious it was when Pete's guitar string
broke on After the Fire???  Pete was handed a back-up acoustic guitar,
but couldn't figure out where to put the capo. He went over to rabbit
and screamed: "What key are we in?" -- and then put the capo on the
guitar.