Let's Tango. (formerly: Happy Birthday(,) Pete! )

["Kevin O'Neal" <kevinandt@xxxxxxxxx>]

>From: "L. Bird"
>Subject:
>
>It could be that what we should be discussing here is how much
Pete/Roger/The Who actually owe the fans. What you seem to be indicating
here is a very >personal relationship.

I'll bite on this.
It really does get down to the whole band / fan relationship.

>Does Pete owe the fans an apology because he has caused them personal grief
in defending him to their friends, etc.? Does he have some obligation to
maintain >the hightest standards because fans support him through buying cds
and tickets?

I'll start by stating that I'm uncomfortable with the word "owe".  I don't
know that Pete "owes" us or anyone anything.
Yes, he's given a lot.  He's also received allot for which I'm sure he's
quite grateful.  Are we fans responsible for what he's received?  Well, from
a business and fame standpoint, yes, to a degree.  But surely he himself
obviously shares in the responsibility for his own stardom and fame and
success.
Then again, flipping back to the other hand, he could have gone along and
made all this great music, and not made a dime.
Plus, he's gotten a great amount of enjoyment and happiness from us as well.
You don't think he gets a high being on stage and seeing us going nuts with
him?  Feeding off of our energy???  Think again.
So........
But, none of this is relevant.

>Does he also owe an apology for his drug and alcohol addictions? For
retiring The Who for so many years? For the tragedy in Cincinnati?

No.  And, you have to delete the tragedy in Cincinnati from the above.
*That* was anything but within Pete's control.  If anything, the fans owe
The Who an apology for that.
His addictions are his doing.  Retiring The Who was his doing.  These things
are events in *Pete's* life, that any human being should be allowed to do
and have control over (or lack of control over in the case of addiction).
It's Pete's life, and far be it from anyone to tell him how to run it.  He
is the one who suffers the consequences.
We the fans who care for him, can help him, feel sympathy for him, but also
understand that he is a living human being and has the right to live his
life the way he wants to.

What we have to look at is the relationship.
Pete has spent an extraordinary amount of energy in his career developing a
relationship with his fans.  It has always been my view that what made The
Who, and particularly Pete, so very special is his quest for unity with his
fans.  Bridging the gap.  The whole Lifehouse concept of unity and oneness
to reach greater power.
Take a look at his web site.  It is geared to the fans and deliberately so
to create a communication portal between Pete and his fans.
In a nut shell, it is a relationship that Pete obviously values and
nurtures.
As with any relationship, it has it's ups and it's downs.  But, it
continues, and Pete knows it, and wants it.

Think for a moment about Pete's last diary entry that was then retracted.
That wasn't to the press.  That wasn't written to the police.  That was
written to us fans, or to anyone interested in participating in the
relationship with Pete.  It was a personal description of his frustration
and feelings, and a plea for our appreciation that he is not a sex offender.
Pete was asking for our help.  Our help in believing he isn't a sex
offender.  It was what it was.  As I've stated, I felt it was the wrong tone
and sentiment for his first post-caution communication.

Now to current events:
The events since January of this year have shaken the fans whom Pete has
formed a relationship with.  Many are very confused by his actions.  These
are conscientious actions that Pete did on his own.  Many are hurt by these
actions.
Does Pete *owe* us an explanation?  Does he *owe* us an apology?
Again, to me "owe" isn't the appropriate word.
But, if I'm in a relationship, one that I've put in a huge amount of energy
to foster and develop, I would feel a certain responsibility to address the
turmoil that that relationship is under at the moment.  The turmoil that he
has caused and, as apposed to life events that harm only himself, has hurt
other people.   He shouldn't feel that he owes us.  He should feel that he
wants to reach out and make amends.  That's why the silence on his web at
the moment is so strange.  Unless there's some legal reason that we don't
know of that is preventing him from speaking, it feels like he has turned
his back on the relationship.  Kind of like "fuck you all, I don't need to
answer to anyone".  (Again, this is what it *feels* like ..............to
me).
If that's the case, then at what point do his fans say the same thing back?
Where does it end?

Jon can say certain people are kind simply because he agrees with their
view, and omit other people who indeed are kind too simply because he
doesn't agree with their view.  But at what point do those other people say
"screw you Jon, you're the one who's not being kind.  Look in the mirror."?
You see, it takes two to tango.  It takes two to keep a relationship going.
I personally can't sit around trying to be friends with someone who won't
acknowledge my feelings, or consider what I'm feeling, or try and set things
right again.

Back to the apology:
So, with all of *that* said, I'm of the opinion that Pete doesn't *owe* us
anything.  He could thumb his nose at us (take cover!) and say "screw the
whole lot of yaz".  That is indeed his prerogative.  Would it help his
situation?  Would his fans go "gee, ok, screw us....but we still love you
Pete" (some obviously will)?
The best thing for Pete to do......the best way to help his situation is to
first come out and make amends.
Make amends to *anyone*, fans included, who may have been hurt by this whole
thing.  All that means is an acknowledgement of the hurt that is indeed out
there (A FACT!) and letting those who are hurt know that he feels bad, is
sorry, regrets (however you want to put it), etc.  This will help him the
most, but more importantly, it will begin to repair his very important
relationship with his fans.
Are we important??
I say hell yes.  We shouldn't be made to feel that our devotion to Pete, his
music, and his philosophies are insignificant.  We've devoted a bunch of
energy (not to mention money).
Were we important when we were bombarding the press with information, and
coming to his defense?
I say hell yes.
We...are....his....fan....base.
Without us, Pete sits in a room making music for himself.
It also can't be denied that we are ambassadors of The Who and Pete.
Why then, shouldn't we expect the other half of the tango?

Rambling thoughts, like driving down a windy country
road.......................by.............
Kevin in VT