Who jab

[A Park <apark@globalserve.net>]

Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper, which bills itself as "Canada's
National Newspaper" because it is simultaneously published in smaller
form across the country, took a swipe at the boys in today's issue. 
Actually, it was more of a good-natured jab, but still.  

There was a feature article on Karen Kain, a retiring prima ballerina
with the National Ballet who has been on an extended farewell tour.  A
sibebar article titled "The longest goodbyes" compared her to The Who.

Here's the text of the article:

"There probably was a time when an artist retired once and for all, when
a band broke up for good, when a famous singer would decisively abandon
the bright lights to tend to the orphans of Calcutta, but be darned if
we can rember when that was.
	These days, especially in show biz, nothing is forever - except the
goodbye, which seems to go on and on and on.  This year two stalwarts of
the stage - rock music's The Who and ballet's Karen Kain - are on the
road for what are ostensibly their final tours.  Actually, The Who
aren't advertising theirs as such.  After all, they officially retired
in the early eighties, but, for some reason, (it couldn't be the money
could it?) they keep coming back, giving new meaning to the song "How
Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"
	Karen Kain retired from dancing Swan Lake in 1994; she announced her
retirement from dance in September 1996; now she's marking her
retirement from the National Ballet this spring.  Maybe in  a year or
so, we'll be marking her retirement from dancing, period.  Then again,
maybe not.
1. Number of "final" concerts announced by The Who: five
Number of farewell performances announced by Kain: at least six.
2. First gig, The Who: 1964
First National Ballet gig, Kain: 1969
3. {(long and stupid - never mind)}
4. Guitars destroyed by Pete Townshend, 1964-1965: 14
Pairs of Pointe shoes destroyed by Kain, 1995-1996: 300
5. Injuries sustained by The Who: hearing loss, hand damage, death
Injuries sustained by Kain: pulled hamstring, inflamed tendon in foot
6. Number of Canadian Ballet companies The Who has been involved with: 1
(Tommy was performed by Montreal's Les Grands Ballet Canadiens in 1970)
Number of Canadian ballet companies Kain has performed with: 1
7. Corporate sponsors for Kain's tour: AEC TelEnterprises, Infiniti
Canada, Dynamic Mutual Funds
Corporate sponsors for The Who's Toronto appearance: Molson, Craven "A",
Cantel, Chevrolet, the Toronto Sun
8. Words to eat:
"I can now say that I will not perform live again anywhere in the world
with The Who" - Pete Townshend, 1983   "I can honestly say that I have
some sadness in retiring, but there are no tears and no regrets ...
[I'm] taking off those pointe shoes and never putting them on again" -
Kain, 1996"

If you'd like to write an email letter to the G&M editor to explain why
it's a good thing The Who are touring this summer you can do so at
"letters@GlobeandMail.ca"

Andrew