Re[2]: Road Rage (Flame on, Johnny Torch!)

[Bruce Stapley <bstapley@megsinet.com>]

On Fri, 25 Sep 98, John Darwak <jpdarwak@flash.net> wrote;

> To add to this, on my BMW,I had a spare spot on my dash for a switch. I
> got a spare hazard light switch from the junk yard popped it in and wired
> it up to my brake light switch at the pedal. Now I was able to turn my
> brake lights off at will. My original reason for doing this was to allow
> me to slow down quickly for radar traps without tipping off the cops
> (useful in NY state), but I found it worked very well for tailgaters as
> well. It goes without saying that this is VERY risky and you have to be
> very careful if you go this route.
> 
> I don't have this feature on my GLX because the cops are pretty lax here
> in MI and I can drive my speed without too much fear. But also, I don't
> believe it's worth it to escalate the situation (yes I'm getting old...)
> so I prefer to take a deep breathe and let it go whenever possible.
> 
> Safety Fast,
> 
> John Darwak
> '97 Jetta GLX Sequoia/Biber beige
> 
If I'm reading this wrong, then please take no offense, but if what you
mean here is what you wrote, then you've got to be one of the biggest
assholes on the face of the planet. You MUST mean the *opposite* of what
you wrote; that this switch also allowed you to turn your brake lights
ON without stepping on the pedal, not just that it allowed you to step
on the pedal without lighting up your brake lights. Anybody who would
actually slam on the brakes in front of another driver while
intentionally suppressing their brake lights is worse than a stupid
teenager; they're the kind of unbalanced, violent, disturbed personality
who should be institutionalized and/or culled from the herd,
slaughtered, and fed to chickens. Clearly, however, a person who would
do this sort of thing would not brag about it in a public forum,
especially not while agreeing with someone who says they avoid
aggressive driving in favor of calm, consequentialist dialogue, as you
did. Therefore, you *must've* meant you light up the bulbs to make 'em
back off without actually slowing down. But you can achieve that effect
just by touching the brake pedal, so....

<SOAPBOX>
Personally, I think slamming on the brakes (as opposed to tapping the
brake pedal) in front of another driver (with or without brake lights)
is a profoundly stupid, dangerous act. As a young, hot-blooded idiot, I
used to engage in this sort of juvenile tantrum until one target of my
self-righteous fury TOTALLY panic-braked and started sliding/swerving
into another lane, endangering not only him, but everyone else on the
road. Golly Beav, I hadn't thought that the other guy would actually
*panic* when I slammed him! It's a good thing I knew ahead of time that
every driver behind him was capable of slowing sufficiently without
overreacting, too -- otherwise I might have caused multiple deaths. And
of course, nobody ever drives a car with brakes/shocks/etc which
compromise their ability to control it easily in an emergency situation.
Lucky for me and everyone else on the road with me, I didn't cause a
collision, and I realized that day what a complete fuckbag I was for
pulling that infantile shit in the first place.
</SOAPBOX>

One final thought about the concept of someone actually wiring up their
car so that they can slam on the brakes without lamps glowing: It would
be so cool when, after causing a rear-end collision, their ingenuity is
discovered and they get convicted of some felony offense for it and end
up in prison, and when they get out they hafta pay like a billion
dollars a year in insurance, except they can't afford it, so they never
drive again, and they hafta take the bus to McDonald's, which is the
only place which would hire their ex-con ass.

Again, if you didn't actually mean what you wrote, then please take no
offense.

Incredulously,
Bruce Stapley
98 blk/blk
"Vitriolic Missive" edition