''What's the problem?''

["Stephen Beauregard" <sb@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

He's already seen enough


By Bob Ryan, Globe Columnist, 4/19/2003

t's the East. Anything can happen.



That's the Celtics' party line, and there is a ring of truth to it. The NBA
rules are clear. The Eastern Conference champions are required to provide
opponents for the 2003 NBA champs-to-be. The Western Conference victors will
already be the de facto champions of the NBA, but custom and the need for
television programming will demand they observe the formality of playing a
best-of-seven series against some hapless Eastern Conference foe in order to
crown a champion.

And the Celtics are saying, ''Hey, that could be us!''

Ah, no. Don't fall for that one. The Celtics' season should be over very
soon.

What could possibly lead anyone to the conclusion that the Boston Celtics of
2003 are poised to make a run at the Eastern Conference championship? Their
balanced offense? Their polished defense? Their killer bench? Their -- Lord,
please don't allow their foolishly naive new owners anywhere near a notebook,
microphone, or camera -- tradition?

Nor should anyone attempt to draw any solace from recent history; namely, last
year. That was Then. This is very much Now. The Celtics are nowhere near the
same team.

Push aside, for a moment, the fact that the Celtics are an artistic disaster,
almost thoroughly unwatchable. At their worst, they are the basketball team
for people who hate basketball. The offense is run through two players who
have a perpetual green light. It's not a matter of Antoine Walker and Paul
Pierce either having, or not having, a conscience. They are doing what they
are being asked to do. A policy decision has been made that the only way this
team can win is for these two to heave, heave, and then heave some more, which
might actually be the truth. Believe it or not, Messrs. Walker and Pierce run
the risk of being chastised for not shooting even more.

With the fast break relegated by this regime to the same trash bin as the
two-hand set (you think Red Auerbach watches these games alone in his
Washington apartment with a bag over his head?), the Celtics are a plodding
half-court team with no inside game and minimal movement. There is no team
grace, no team flair, no discernible team style, only the my-turn, your-turn
dominance of the two marquee performers.

Would anybody in power care to deny this?

It really wasn't that way last year. The Celtics had more to offer, starting
with the backcourt, where Kenny Anderson was playing at a very high level.
Now, J.R. Bremer has had a very nice rookie year for himself. He is a definite
find. But he doesn't come remotely close to providing the type of all-around
point guard play Anderson was providing at this time last season, when Kenny
was distributing the basketball nicely while very often serving as the
much-discussed third scorer who could take some of the heat off Walker and
Pierce.

I actually feel sorry for young Mr. Bremer. Fate has placed him on the only
NBA team where a (so-called) point guard attempting 62 percent of his shots
from 3-point range is an acceptable practice. Some day he'll enter the real
NBA world, and, boy, will he be shocked.

At any rate, point guard was a definite plus at this time last year. Now it
is, at best, a neutral. At worst, it's an irrelevancy. Of course, we're always
being told that ''the offense runs through Antoine,'' which is usually true,
and which is always a chilling thought.

But the real strength of last year's team, as Jim O'Brien has frequently
pointed out, was the defense. Dick Harter was brought here to put together a
defense, and he succeeded. The Celtics prided themselves on being unyielding
in the lane. You worked for everything you got once the ball entered into what
coach-turned-broadcaster-turned-coach Hubie Brown calls ''the painted area.''
The key to this was Tony Battie, who is currently held together with duct
tape. Battie must be able to give the team 30 solid minutes as a roamer and
rebounder, or else the Celtics won't win a game. The problem is that right now
the only ailment Battie doesn't seem to have is a toothache.

OK, there are things to like about this team. The first is that Pierce is
always capable of going off for 40. His shooting touch began to desert him
during the New Jersey series last year (40 for 110, and thank God he can
drive), and he has yet to get it back completely, but he is one of the
consummate pure scorers of our time. Attention must be paid.

As for Walker, he remains the ultimate trick-or-treat NBA player. I cannot
imagine anyone else in the game capable of shooting 1 for 15 while handing out
14 assists. Even Larry himself never did that. People have made up their minds
on him by now. The dividing line is around age 30. Above it, he is pretty much
universally despised, by his own fans. Below, they say, ''What's the
problem?''

Eric Williams gives you an honest day's work every single day or night a game
is scheduled. He has evolved into a Satch Sanders-like Pro's Pro. If only he
really was the 6 feet 8 inches the book laughably says he is. But he's not.
He's an undersized 6-6, doing the inside dirty work against bigger men, and he
is the clear unsung hero of this team.

Walter McCarty is another gamer, with the added attraction that he might have
a bagful of 3-pointers ready to disperse on selected occasions. I might even
go so far as to label him ''lovable.''

But that is not a word anyone other than Wyc Grousbeck and Steve Pagliuca,
those time-warped dreamers, would use to describe the finished product. The
question is not necessarily whether the Celtics will advance. It's whether the
fans want them to. That would require further viewings, and people may already
have decided that enough is enough for one season.

Thanks,

Steve
sb@maine.rr.com

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