RE: With Fifi I and II, How Can The Celtics Lose...

[OzerskyJA <OzerskyJA@cmog.org>]

As a self-appointed Celtics columnist, I have felt that it's
unseemly for me to say anything, but does anyone else feel
that Ray's new incarnation as a wisecracking sports columnist
is more than a little grating?  He doesn't know anything the rest
of us don't, all his his comments have been said often earlier, and
his jokes are worthy of Glenn Ordway on a slow afternoon.  I
loved it when Ray delivered the news and joined us in discussing it,
but this kind of semi-professional pessimism, with its exaggerated,
posturing cynicism just bums me out.  

almost every one of Ray's one-liners is wrong here, too.  See below.

Josh Ozersky	
Marketing Communications Specialist 
Corning Museum of Glass

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Way Of The Ray [SMTP:wayray@ix.netcom.com]
> Sent:	Sunday, October 08, 2000 7:46 PM
> To:	Celtics; Alessandro Celtics-Fan; sptguy33@aol.com
> Subject:	With Fifi I and II, How Can The Celtics Lose...
> 
> The Good News: Mark Blount is a phenom according to Pitino.
> He can run, block shots, rebound, play in the post, defend, and shoot.
> 
> The Bad News: The Phenom averaged 8 points and 4 rebounds
> while playing in all 8 games in the less than stellar Shaws Summer
> League, and was in constant foul trouble.
> 
	PITINO NEVER SAID HE WAS A PHENOMENON.  HE SAID HE
	HAD ALL THE TOOLS TO BE A LEGIT 5-MAN.  AND HE DOES.

> The Good News: Mark Blount is the fastest Celtic on court.
> 
> The Bad News: Mark Blount is the fastest Celtic on court. Paging
> Mr. Athlete. Will Mr. Athlete please report to Healthpoint
> as soon as possible, as the C's obviously need a few of vous.
> 
	SO CHRIS CARR, JEROME MOISO, WALTER MCCARTY, AND TONY
	BATTIE ARE SLOW?  IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY? THE
	ONE THING THEY AREN'T IS SLOW.  (NOT TO MENTION KENNY ANDERSON)

> The Good News: Antoine Walker's shot mechanics are said to be
> much better this pre season, as the Toine is really stroking the ball.
> 
> The Bad News:  Damn it, Jim, it's his shot selection that's the
> big problem. His tendency to take wild three pointers
> and other outside shots at inopportune times - that's what
> he really needs to work on, along with his general ball-hoggery
> in critical situations.
> 
	YEAH, IT WOULD REALLY HURT US IF ANTOINE SHOT A GOOD PERCENTAGE.
	THAT'S WHAT I'M WORRRIED ABOUT.  DO YOU WANT HIM TO NOT TAKE ANY 
	SHOTS?  

> The Good News: The Celtics went out and got a backup
> point guard.
> 
> The Bad News: He's 32 years old (aged for a NBA guard) with two
> rebuilt knees, already injured, and overpaid. Even
> a Pitino loyalist like Steve Bulpett questioned the number of
> years and contract given Brown, and Mitch Lawrence said
> out of all the free agents, Brown made out second best.
> 
	HE GOT THOSE TERMS BECAUSE HE WAS PURSUED BY SEVERAL TEAMS.  AND
	FOR GOOD REASON.  HOW IS HE INJURED?  BECAUSE HE ROLLED AN ANKLE AT 
	PRACTICE AND WAS BACK ON THE COURT HUSTLING THE NEXT DAY?  

> The Good News:  Pitino made one of his better deals and
> acquired Chris Herren, who if he can avoid injuries and dalliances
> in the dark side of life, can become the East Coast version
> of Jason Williams.
> 
> The Bad News: But he's the Celtics third string point guard,
> on the last year of his contract, late for training camp, and
> playing time at the point guard spot may be at a premium
> this season. I say may be at a premium, because I fully
> expect both Anderson and Brown to go down with injuries.
> So maybe Herren will be allowed to shine...
> 
> 
> The Good News:  Knowing that his team is awful on the road
> and with a tendency to party the night before games, Pitino
> has instituted a 1:00 A.M.  curfew for back-to-back games.
> 
> The Bad News: Like most of Il Duce's moves, this one has
> very little substance to it. As Peter May points out in the
> Boston Globe, only 17 nights this season meet the curfew
> criteria, and in most cases, the Celtics won't be in their
> hotel rooms by 1:00 A.M. any ways.
> 
	SO WHAT?  THE POINT IS TO KEEP THEM OUT OF BARS, NOT
	IN BED.

> The Good News (well, not really): The C's drafted Fifi II: Jerome
> Moiso.
> 
> The Bad News: The C's wasted the eleventh pick on Jerome
> Moiso, who, lacks direction, desire, fire, and intensity.  It doesn't
> shock me one bit, that Pitino has basically written him off for this
> season.
> 
> And you might as well write off Moiso's entire Celtics career, because
> with Pitino likely gone after this season, the new GM and
> Coach aren't going to be too amiable to taking on any of Pitino's
> projects.  Especially one most suited for a Pitino system, that
> will most likely be junked under new management.
> 
	YEAH, RAY, YOU MIGHT AS WELL WRITE OFF MOISO'S
	CAREER.  THAT'S SOME CRYSTAL BALL YOU HAVE THERE.
	OR IS IT CRYSTAL METH?

> And toss in the fact that Alexander and Claxton -- two players
> that most definitely filled Celtics needs more than Moiso -- are
> wowing them respectively in Dallas and Philly.  Then you
> understand what a colossal blunder Moiso was.
> 
	MOISO IS MORE TALENTED THAN EITHER OF THOSE
	GUYS.  IF YOU DRAFTED GUYS FOR TRAINING CAMP,
	YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT, THOUGH.

> The Good News: The C's should have two decent lottery picks next
> year.
> 
> The Bad News: Although it's looking doubtful at the moment, things
> could miraculously change, and Piitino could be given another
> year to further screw up the draft and team. Add in the fact, that
> Pitino is desperate to make the playoffs, so you can see the
> great possibility of him, trading away those draft picks for
> questionable veteran talent in a futile attempt to make the
> playoffs.
> 
> Personally, I don't see what the great desire is in being the eighth
> seed
> in the Eastern Coference.  I say: "F*** that". I'd rather have the team
> crash and burn this year, and flame out Gaston, Pitino, and Wallace.
> Bring in new ownership, management, and coaches next season,
> keep a core group of players, and draft well. Then I'll be
> enthused.
> 
	CAN'T SAY I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE, RAY.

> The Good News:  After 80 years of ineptness, racism, strange
> decisions, coaches, managers, owners, and players, the Red Sox
> are on the market.
> 
> The Bad News: The Celtics aren't, and I've been assured that
> Gaston is not selling the team anytime soon. For some reason,
> I have a strong vibe that Gaston, will in fact, sell the club within
> a year, but I've been told that's not the case.
> 
> Ray
> 
> PS: Fifi I is Tony Battie.