ESPN.com Insider article on Pitino

[Boston Sports Fan <bostonsptsfan@yahoo.com>]

 Friday, March 3
Pitino's bad situation deserves no sympathy
 
 
 
By Frank Hughes
Special to ESPN.com 

  
Might UCLA's Steve Lavin be on the way out and Rick
Pitino coming in? 
A few years back, a friend told me about this company
to invest in that made healthy cheese. A can't miss,
he told me. They are about to get a contract with, as
they say in the business, a major fast food chain. The
wave of the future. Wisconsin'll love ya, baby.


This was before I became the investing wiz I am now,
so I went out and bought a bunch of shares. I was
going to make a Chalupa full of cash by making a Run
for the Border.

Back then, they used to call me the ValuJet of the
stock market, because whatever I touched immediately
plummeted. And that's what this stock did. This stock
was more cheesy than I had ever imagined.

I would complain, but who would listen? The cheese
company? My former friend? My accountant? 

TFB, I'd be told. Too Freaking Bad.

And that's why I have no sympathy for Boston Celtics
coach Rick Pitino.

He left Kentucky and joined the Celtics because he
thought he was getting Tim Duncan. He thought he had
the perfect plan in place to come in and be a savior
-- once again. He thought he was, well, he thought he
was investing in a cheese company that was getting a
contract with Taco Hell. 

And then the San Antonio Spurs stepped in and got the
first pick in the draft, and took Duncan, if you can
believe it.

Little Ricky still can't. And you know what I say? 

TFB.

Now, it seems, Little Ricky is trying to get out of
it.

There is a rumor making the rounds of NBA folks that
Little Ricky is angling for the job at UCLA, a job
that is built for success, a job that would get Little
Ricky back the polish on an image that is becoming
badly tarnished.

(And while we're circulating rumors, there's another
that we might as well throw out, you know, so just in
case it comes true I look good. Mark my words,
Cincinnati Bearcats coach Bob Huggins will be in the
NBA next season.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.)

UCLA, you see, is struggling this season. It is in
danger of missing the NCAA tournament for the first
time since the school was named UCG -- University of
Californnia Gondwonoland.

And for anybody who ever has been at a school that is
going through a difficult time after a long, long,
long, long, long history of success -- can you say
Notre Dame football? -- it goes without saying that
there is grumbling within the university walls about
head coach Steve Lavin.

Personally, I think people should be grumbling about
that cheesy hairdo of his. I think he's been using the
fromage from the company I invested in for hair gel.

Not that Little Ricky would bring a much better
hairdo, considering he is hiding that bald spot about
as well as Dick Versace used to. But he certainly
would like to try.

Tell me that his verbal attack the other day on
Celtics fans for placing lofty expectations on the
team was not calculated.

He's basically trying to make it virtually impossible
for the Celtics to keep him.

The problem here is that Little Ricky is a victim of
his own greed. By signing that huge contract, of which
there is a little less than $30 million still left to
pay over seven years, Little Ricky has made it very
difficult to leave.

Not that he hasn't tried. He and owner Paul Gaston
can't stand each other, so much so that, according to
a source, they tried to negotiate a buyout after last
season.

However, the source said, the sides were so far apart
in terms of money that they couldn't come to an
agreement.


You can see both sides. Little Ricky doesn't want to
walk away from all that cabbage without getting some
sort of healthy severance package, enough so that even
if he takes a paycut at UCLA he won't suffer too
badly. (And let me be the first to tell you, after my
cheese company experience, walking away from money is
a painful experience.)

And Gaston does not want to do this pompous man any
favors. He knows that Little Ricky is stewing in his
own bile, knowing that his reputation as a basketball
messiah is disappearing with every stupid shimmy dance
by Antoine Walker, who for some reason thinks that
making the All-Star game once in your career is akin
to being Bill Russell.

Gaston probably figures he is in a no-lose situation.
Well, that term probably shouldn't be uttered around
FleetCenter, because all they have done is lose in
recent years.

But Gaston must be thinking that if Little Ricky
actually does turn this abomination around -- which is
akin to trying to bail out the Titanic with a thimble
-- then, hey, he's got a winner on his hands, and he
looks good for hiring Little Ricky.

And if it doesn't get turned around, you know Little
Ricky eventually is going to cave like that family in
"Land of the Lost."

He'll take less money just to get out, because to
Little Ricky, image is everything.

We should have a better idea after next weekend,
because by then we'll know whether Lavin might be
Leaving if the Bruins do not make the tournament.

If Lavin is in trouble, watch for Little Ricky to do
some more outrageous things, hoping to expedite his
departure from Beantown.

Hmmm, beans. I hear Taco Hell uses those, too.

Frank Hughes covers the NBA for the Tacoma (Wash.)
News-Tribune. He is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.
 

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com