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RE: Tommy Heinsohn Tribute
Here are some classic Tommyisms collected from Alessandro's "Mean Green"
page, which I recently discovered.
3-15 (vs Golden State)
"[Referee calls an offensive foul on Vitaly Potapenko] Aw, that is a joke. That is a joke! That is an ABSOLUTE JOKE!"
"Larry Hughes has been given the green light [by Golden State] to shoot the ball. He has the green light, the red light, the amber light ... every light! This is his team!"
"Putting microphones on the coaches is a horrible idea; if I was a coach now, I'd use every expletive in the book so that the [TV people] would never use the tape ... And if they tried to fine me for swearing on the sidelines, I'd take it all the way to the Supreme Court!"
"Kenny Anderson is such a good passer, and if he made that his priority [rather than scoring] he could unleash the offense inherent within this team without scoring a single point himself!"
3-10 (vs Chicago)
"We're watching the triangle offense [from Chicago], with a lot of squares trying to fit into the triangle!"
"Pervis Ellison just got hit in the dreadlocks ... "
"I told Danny [Fortson] to take dancing lessons this summer, so he can learn how to move his feet ... "
3-5 (vs Orlando)
"When you're struggling [to score], it's like going to the dance and your fly is open, and you don't find out until after the dance is over ... "
"Tony Battie hasn't been shooting the ball well lately ... I think his shot went to China or something!"
3-3 (at Toronto)
"Muggsy Bogues gets between your legs and really makes it difficult to dribble the ball!"
"There are too many signs in this building! All I can see is 'Taste It', 'Touch It', 'Smell It', 'Eat It' ... All over the building!"
"Tim Duncan is not coming to Boston, fans. He doesn't like the Old North Church and he's never heard of Paul Revere, so that's the end of him ... "
3-1 (vs Toronto)
"When Muggsy Bogues comes off the team bus, people think he's the waterboy ... The Celtics logo is bigger than Muggsy!"
2-25 (at Los Angeles Lakers)
"What's that on AC Green's head? A leprechaun?!"
"Aw, [referee] Terry Durham, go to bed!"
2-19 (at Seattle)
"Gary Payton is the master of the stare ... He's a StairMaster? Well, let's walk on him!"
2-9 (vs Indiana)
"The Celtics want to reward Vitaly for the runs ... I mean his running."
"In Dallas, if the owner's maid doesn't wake up [Dennis Rodman], he misses the game!"
"The Lone Ranger is coming to save [the Celtics], he's gonna bring us a silver bullet!"
"They gave Reggie Miller a little blow on the bench ... "
"Get to the offense, Calvin [he means Calbert Cheaney]!"
2-8 (at New Jersey)
"The Celtics look like a piece of wood tonight ... "
"[Boston is down by 25 points] If the Nets lose tonight, George Steinbrenner will dynamite this building!"
2-6 (vs Portland)
"Bing Bang Boom Dana Barros, for cryin' out loud!"
"Achtung Detlef!"
2-4 (vs New Jersey)
"Danny [Fortson] is pure beef, man! That old commercial, 'Where's the beef?' We've got it!"
"The Ukraine Train went down the lane ... "
2-2 (vs Miami)
"You don't get sick from meatloaf!"
"The Celtics aren't allowed to make a block; everybody else can, but [the referees] won't allow us to ... "
"I am going to solicit from the people watching at home, some kind of medication that will relieve me of my frustrations with these officials ... Send me a dowsing stick, anything! I need ANY kind of remedy to relieve my frustration with these [referees]!"
"I can't stand it anymore, these officials are awful ... "
1-28 (vs Phoenix)
"The Suns have a gaggle, a WHOLE gaggle, of three-point shooters ... "
"Oliver [Miller] is the original Pillsbury Doughboy ... we gotta bake him!"
"Penny Hardaway could've been [a legitimate Hall of Famer], but he lost his focus and became more interested in making commercials than in playing basketball ... "
"[Hardaway is called for his fifth foul] Penny is getting his nickel's worth!"
1-26 (at Orlando)
"Danny Fortson should take some ballet dancing lessons ... "
"Anything further than five feet from the basket is a perilous journey for Ben Wallace!"
"Fortson is incredulous on defense, and he's gaining a reputation among the referees as some kind of monster who [fouls people] continuously ... "
"Pat Garrity is a middle-finger shooter ... "
"I still love Walter ... I'm going to send him flowers tomorrow!"
1-22 (at Charlotte)
"That's the Chief, Robert Parish [in the audience] without his crown ... or feathers, whatever."
Joshua Ozersky
Marketing Communications
Environmental Products Division
Corning Incorporated.
HP-CB-02-C6A
Corning, New York 14831
Phone: (607) 974-8124
Fax: (607) 974-2233
> ----------
> From: Sptguy33@aol.com[SMTP:Sptguy33@aol.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2000 10:53 AM
> To: OzerskyJA@corning.com
> Subject: Re: Tommy Heinsohn Tribute
>
> What is it? You didn't include a link...
>