re: Antoinette Walker

[opi@unesco.org]

    Just when we need our Celts co-captain to make an effort to rebound,
Antoine Walker is instead doing his utmost to produce Maurice "Liz"
Taylor type power fairy rebounding numbers. In fact he's so far been
outrebounded by Taylor (6.0 to 5.8) per game and is barely ahead on a
per minute basis. IMO, Antoine Walker hasn't played like he belongs in a
Boston Celtics uniform. He plays like he belongs in a Village People
uniform (the motorcycle cop outfited guy, maybe).

    What's rich is that Antoine claims he wants to play small forward. I
guess that's why he's stepped up this year with a by far career high 4.0
turnovers and a career low 1.75 assists this season. These are truy poor
passing stats. Even Ron Mercer is probably laughing.

    Here's the deal with our girlie-man forward. You have two choices
with Antoinette. You either get the "Lobotomized Larry Bird" version,
who tends to play totally out of control but with a reckless abandon
that produces outstanding non-scoring stats over the course of a season
as well as his best games against the best players and in critical
moments. Or you have the new and improved "under control Antoine", a guy
who (for the most part) will concentrate on playing within himself but
in the process has lost the demonic and psychotic energy reserves that
allowed him to produce nearly twice as many assists+rebounds in his
first two NBA seasons then he does now, and ranked him among the NBA's
most bankable double-figure rebounders in the game. Now he's just an
overpaid designated scorer of uneven efficiency.

    Take your pick. Choose your poison. Obviously, we want Antoine to
put the two parts together for the sake of winning basketball (better
shot selection while retaining nearly the same fury and productivity
he's fully capable of). The sad thing was that Antoine was the very
epitome of an unselfish yet productive team player on the 1996 Kentucky
championship team. He was the opposite of what Ron Mercer became the
following year. But that was a long time ago.

    So far Antoinette "Let me eat Cake" Walker has ZERO double-doubles
much less triple doubles, and that won't change tonight against the
Detroit Pistons. I predict he'll be held under ten rebounds tonight
against the immortal Christian Laetner, making him zero-for-five in
double doubles for the season. I also predict he'll have no triple
doubles this season, because he sucks.

    Cripes, I hope this works.

    Joe

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