Picked this one from onhoops.com - a pretty funny article

["Shailendra K Mishra" <skmishra@sprintmail.com>]

Sure, I'm guilty... of a lot of things really, I squeeze the toothpaste from
the middle, I'm 26 and I have actually watched Dawson's Creek (still waiting
for somebody to get naked-it is cable you know) and yes, most damnably I
said I didn't care if the NBA never, ever, ever came back. I was, in a
word…obtuse.

Or was that obfuscative ? Anyway, I was wrong. Kind of. It was true that I
didn't miss our lanky pals in glorified underwear, but I'm a big enough man
to admit that once February rolled around, I'd have been pining for a chance
to see Terry Cummings blow a layup or Lloyd Daniels sign a ten-day contract
with the Spurs…again. So I am glad they are back. And actually, the wild
free agent/sign-and-trade/trade frenzy of the past two weeks has me ready
for the NBA. Even if my beloved Bulls are the only team in the NBA whose
only good players are white. Oh the shame of it all.

So here they are, unsolicited as they may be, my observations and
predictions for NBA '99. The season, not the Playstation game.



Five words for Shawn Kemp: lie down, sit up, repeat. He doesn't look like
Kevin Duckworth, but he looks like he might have tried to eat him.
Apparently in Chris Webber's world, never is actually one day. After a mind
numbing trade to Sacramento, Webber said he'd never play for the Kings. He
then sat out one day of training camp. Now he's playing…for Sacramento. With
communicative powers this great, no wonder that DC cop thought he was coming
after her.
If championships are truly built around defense, the Bulls next two
acquisitions better be Normie Schwartzkopf and Deion Sanders. It's one thing
to rebuild a championship team, it's another thing to do it around a pair of
guys who play D like the object is to not foul anybody. Brent Barry and Toni
Kukoc are talented gunners, but there's going to be a lot of windburn
treatments for those two when guys like Kevin Garnett and Allen Iverson blow
by them.
Somewhere, you just know that David Falk is yelling at Abe Pollin to give
Rod Strickland 14 million bucks a year and Abe has turned off his hearing
aid and set out to find some pudding.
If I'm Jeff Van Gundy, I'm really happy that the Knicks decided to trade for
Latrell Sprewell. Of course, if I'm Jeff Van Gundy, I have also deluded
myself into thinking people think I still have hair, so basically, I can
convince myself of anything.
Over/under on the first Phil Jackson-Michael Jordan to the Knicks rumor, 1.8
seconds.
Speaking of 1.8 seconds, what would Rudy Tomjanovich do to Scottie Pippen if
Pip sat out the end of a playoff game because Rudy T drew up the last shot
for Bryce Drew?
If you've got sneakers and a jump shot, chances are the Clippers can clear
salary cap room for you. Report to the LA Sports Arena and ask for Elgin,
he's the old dude drooling in the corner telling the mop that before there
was MJ, there was EB.
Panic stricken Bulls fans need to get a grip. Why did Jerry Krause "sell"
off Luc Longley, Steve Kerr and Scottie Pippen for nothing? Because nothing
is what he wanted. But in the process, he's pushed the Suns, Spurs and
Rockets so far over the salary cap that when free agency rolls around the
next three years, none of those teams will be a player. He's creepy, but
he's not dumb.
What kind of world do we live in when the Vancouver Grizzlies have more
talented basketball players than the Bulls?
Mark my words, if Dennis Rodman signs with the Heat, he won't still be on
the roster when the playoffs roll around. Dennis + Miami (strip club bar
capital of the universe) + not showing for practice + Pat Riley = what will
forever be known as "The Reverse Sprewell."
Keep an eye on Bulls forward Kornell David, he might just be the best
Hungarian import since the Gabor sisters. Unfortunately, he's less offensive
than Zsa Zsa.
Is it safe to say that this year's Bulls ring night is sponsored by FedEx?
Stop comparing the Bulls to the Marlins. Chicago didn't gut the team because
they were cheap, they did it because their best player quit, the next best
player wanted out and the rest of the guys were just parts of the machine.
If you want to pick on a Chicago sports team that is in full Marlins
sell-off-the-assets mode, ask Jerry Reinsdorf about his other team.
Everybody made a big deal out of the fact that the Pacers practiced together
during the lockout. If Sunday's game was any indication of how well those
practices went, I'd say they were playing first basket wins and going home.
Everybody who's surprised that Derrick Coleman is out of shape, raise your
hand.
Anybody? Anybody?
Admit it, you want to believe Don Nelson when he says Dirk Nowitzki is going
to be rookie of the year, but you just can't, because whenever you think of
Don you think of him bragging about what a stud Shawn Bradley is going to
be.
Finally, how long do you think it will take Mitch Richmond to figure out
that the only difference between Washington and Sacramento is that in DC
when you are officially eliminated from the playoffs, it's colder?