Dan Shaunessy Reminisces About What He Misses About The Celtics & NBA

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@ix.netcom.com>]

                     [Boston Globe Online / Sports]

                 Missed moments are making me a basket case

                 By Dan Shaughnessy, Globe Columnist, 11/22/98

                 The NBA lockout is lurching toward December.
                 Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin says the
                 lords of the game are ready to ''gut the season.''
                 If the Celtics were into their schedule, they'd be
                 playing host to the Vancouver Grizzlies tonight, probably
                 carrying a 4-5 record into the game.

                 I don't know about you, but I miss the NBA. I miss the
                 Celtics
        
                  I miss ...

                 * Wondering what outfit Pervis Ellison will be wearing
                 when he sits at the end of the bench in street clothes.
                 Not since bowser Alaa Abdelnaby stole Celtic money have
                 we had such sartorial splendor from the injured list.

                 * Rick Pitino lying and laughing ... laughing and lying.

                 * Jersey Red telling us about his latest phone call from
                 Mo Vaughn (it's sort of like Tim Johnson talking about     
                 napalm in the morning back in 'Nam).

                 * The dulcet tones of Pufessor Cedric (''that's Doctor
                 Ebonics, to you, sir'') Maxwell describing yet another
                 Celtic loss on the radio. (Stop right there, you outraged
                 Cambridge/Brookline/Newton letter writers. It was our own
                 Howard Manly who dubbed Max ''Pufessor Ebonics'' on these
                 pages last year.)

                 * Thanksdad Gaston standing in his high-priced loge seat
                 and yelling at the officials.

                 * Red Auerbach sitting next to Thanksdad and pretending
                 to listen to the owner's opinions about basketball.

                 * Leo Papile doing the Steven Seagal thing and telling us
                 the stories behind the stories of NBA players he has
                 coached.

                 * The Ripoff Brothers parking lot, and the $20 I get to
                 put on my expense account.

                 * Tommy Heinsohn's tender take on the officiating.

                 * Antoine Walker's shot selection, his no-look defense,
                 and his Chris Canty celebration dances while the
                 opposition fast-breaks.

                 * Tommy Nunez and Hue Hollins.

                 * Freddie ''Tag'' Tenaglia performing the anthem.

                 * The nitwits of the Parquet Patrol.

                 * Nitwit fans mugging for the Jumbotron scoreboard.

                 * The insufferable Alan Dershowitz trying to look
                 important.

                 * Commissioner Bob Ryan, at courtside, insisting that
                 none of today's immature players could ever top the
                 selfishness of Elvin Hayes.

                 * Larry Bird coming to town with the Pacers.

                 * Danny Ainge coming to town with the Suns.

                 * Dave Cowens coming to town with the Hornets.

                 * Kevin McHale coming to town with the Timberwolves.
                 Think of what McHale would tell us about his new
                 governor, Jesse ''The Body'' Ventura.

                 * The brilliance and candor of Bob Cousy's TV analysis.

                 * Greg Minor's vigorous defense against his deadbeat dad
                 rap.

                 * Hideous halftime promotions.

                 * The parquet floor.
 
                 * Pitino taking over the upstairs at Fours after a big
                 win.

                 * The Crunch 'N' Munch Man.

                 * Kenny Anderson icing his knees.

                 * The empty seats in the opening minutes, and the closing
                 minutes.

                 * Bob Lobel doing the Mike Wallace thing on ''The Rick
                 Pitino Show.''

                 * Globe game stories by Michael Holley and Peter May.

                 * Ticket scalpers on Causeway Street when the Bulls,
                 Lakers, and Pacers come to town.

                 * Eddie Lacerte and Arnie Scheller healing the wounded.

                 * The ushers and security folk who've been working Celtic
                 games for a million years.

                 * Red getting extra satisfaction whenever the Celtics
                 beat the Knicks.

                 * Ron Mercer playing like a 10-year veteran - not bad for
                 a young man who looks like he could be older than Bobby
                 Murcer.

                 * M.L. Carr walking around, smiling, high-fiving
                 everybody, and promoting his latest book project.

                 * Francis O'Bryant attending to details in both
                 lockerrooms.

                 Red's cigar, in the locker room, after the game.

                 Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe columnist.

                 This story ran on page C02 of the Boston Globe on
                 11/22/98.
                 © Copyright 1998 Globe Newspaper Company.


                   © Copyright 1998
                   Globe Newspaper
                       Company