Re: Dave D'Alessandro: An 'interview' with Latrell Sprewell

[Warwick Janetzki <giants@icplus.net.au>]

I got this funny article from the Sporting News

http://www.sportingnews.com

There was no (c) on this for those concerned.

Enjoy,

Warwick

> 
> An 'interview' with Latrell Sprewell
> 
> FEBRUARY 6, 1998
> 
> by Dave D'Alessandro
> 
> State your name and occupation.
> 
> Latrell Sprewell, professional basketball player, formerly of the
> Golden State Warriors.
> 
> Now, Mr. Sprewell, you have had your contract annulled because of
> your alleged attack of head coach P.J. Carlesimo this past December .
> . .
> 
> 'Attacks,' actually. There were two of them. And you can forget that
> 'alleged' part. I tried to twist his head off. It was the only way to
> stop his obnoxious blather once and for all.
> 
> Very well, then. Thank you for your candor. Can you tell us if you
> have any compunction for this act?
> 
> Compunction? Is that like a comfortable malfunction?
> 
> No, it's like guilt, remorse. Regret.
> 
> Only from the fact that Muggsy and those guys stopped me from
> segregating his head from his shoulders.
> 
> Mr. Sprewell, are you aware that this act is in violation with the
> league's code for conduct?
> 
> Code of conduct? Oh, you mean those rules that say you can't carry a
> gun in your gym bag to shootaround, can't smoke marijuana, can't
> throw guys through windows, can't spit on fans, stuff like that? You
> mean showing 'civility' and 'social graces?' Who d'y'all think the
> role model is for the players in this league, David Niven?
> 
> You don't believe that a team's members should maintain rules of
> behavior?
> 
> Hell, yeah! Rule One: Get Coach outta my face. Rule Two: If Coach
> overlooks Rule One, I can cut off his air supply. Rule Three: No more
> team dinners. I can't look at that guy's face while I'm eating.
> 
> Have you always had such disdain for authority?
> 
> Only since college, at Alabama. Robert Horry was a teammate of mine.
> He once whaled on his coach's face with a towel. Roll, Tide, Roll!
> 
> What about on the professional level?
> 
> Well, me and Nellie -- that's Don Nelson -- didn't get on too well.
> He traded away my boy, Chris Webber, and kept Tim Hardaway, that
> Nellie brown-noser. I didn't like that much. I wanted to be Nellie's
> main man. I figure if I was like a son to him, I'd be an NBA head
> coach by now.
> 
> Is it true you once chased Jerome Kersey around the practice floor
> with a two-by-four?
> 
> Yeah, well, that was a misunderstanding. He said I was 'very
> fundamental.' I thought he said I was 'very demented.'
> 
> Mr. Sprewell, would you say you are disagreeable by nature?
> 
> I would disagree with that. I know everybody thinks that playing for
> the Warriors doesn't make you a congenial person. But ask any of my
> friends and teammates. I don't let losing get to me, unless you're
> talking about the loss of $21 million. Otherwise, I'm content. No,
> more than that. I'm Laughin' Latrell. I'm Smilin' Spre. I'm the Happy
> Warrior.
> 
> I see. Do you know what an 'oxymoron' is?
> 
> Yeah, you mean something like, 'Assistant coach Jack Haley.'
> 
> So far, you've said nothing to convince this court that the
> Commissioner acted rashly when he suspended you for a full season.
> Don't you have anything to say in your defense?
> 
> I don't see why I have to defend myself. The man took my money and my
> job because he said I can't choke somebody. Well, I'm still waiting
> to find the chapter in the manual that says that. They let Allan
> Bristow strangle my guy Arn Tellem, but I guess since he's an agent
> that was some sort of public service. They let Alvin Robertson get
> his hands around Billy McKinney, but since he was a GM they let it
> slide, because they figured they'd never see each other until
> somebody had to post bail for Alvin at 4 a.m. somewhere in Detroit.
> 
> Don't you think it's time the league took a stand on such action?
> 
> OK, OK, you convinced me. Players shouldn't go around strangulating
> the coach. It could lead to anarchy, because if one guy does it, the
> other 11 guys leave the bench to get their licks in. Can I have my
> job back now?
> 
> Not until you write, 'I will not strangle my coach' 21 million times.
> 
> I'd rather swallow your gavel.
>