Way off the topic

["Greg Odegaard" <gmodegaa@longvred.rmc.com>]

The following was something I thought was pretty comical off an ESPN
column.  It would be hard for them to make a Celtics version, because her
fingers aren't big enough to hold 16 rings.  Though she would run your ass
off.

Anyother suggestions?


How about: ( And yes Shawn I do have a job, I just get bored once and
awhile)

Rick Pitino Barbie:  Never sure if you get the truth when pulling the
string, and you don't want to touch her hair.

Antoine Walker Barbie: Wants more than the suggested retail price, and does
a wicked wiggle.

Dee Brown Barbie:  Lots of hops and potential, then looses it's luster
after an hour or two.

Pervis Barbie: Badly hobbled, isn't worth playing with, but guess what, you
own her.

Bruce Bowen Barbie:  Greatly underpriced, and you only wish there more
available just like her.  A great investment.

Paul Pierce Barbie:  The Barbie that no one in this town can actually
believe they were lucky enough to get.

Boston Celtics Cheerleader Barbie:  Looks cute, but no one really wants
her, do they?

Red Auerbach Barbie:  A classic, never be another one like her, and smokes
a mean ceegar.

Trailblazers Barbie: Has a bad mouth and a rap sheet to boot.  (Just
checking on you Blazerfan)

Bob Ryan Barbie:  Always looking over his shoulder for people wearing the
#8.

Ryan Lee Barbie:  Shouts and stomps her feet every month or so, then
disappears.



"In fact, give me more sports-themed Barbies! I mean, why stop at NASCAR or
the WNBA, which will come out with its own Barbie before Christmas (Motto:
"See how heterosexual we are!"). There are so many wonderful possibilities
for leagues, teams, even individual athletes:

MLS Barbie: Hairstyles galore.

Lakers Barbie: Less hair but more flakes.

Mariners Barbie: In honor of Randy Johnson trade, she's given away for
free.

Bulls Barbie: Capable of losing her reputation quickly.

Piazza Barbie: Comes with suitcase.

Cowboys Barbie: Dances at gentlemen's club and "dates" Michael Irvin.

Ripken Barbie: Life-long toy that refuses to go away, like Chuckie from
Child's Play. Insists on getting play time well after your daughter has
grown up, gone to college and raised a family.

Raiders Barbie: Just like fans, never needs to be cleaned!

Bills Barbie: Taller than Doug Flutie.

Gretzky Barbie: Otherwise known as Janet Jones.

Lawrence Phillips Barbie: No hair (Phillips pulled it out in late-night
dispute).

Sampras Barbie: Has absolutely nothing interesting to say. (N**h Barbie
too)

Knicks Barbie: More multi-dimensional than any female character in a Spike
Lee movie.

Diamondbacks Barbie: Looks great in stadium hot tub. Thinks D-Backs will
win Super Bowl this year.

Marlins Barbie: No longer sold in South Florida stores. Shipped to San
Diego, San Francisco and other cities after winning World Series.

Sprewell Barbie: Puts her hands on you, rather than other way around.

Cavaliers Barbie: Impossible for Shawn Kemp to get pregnant.

Wizards Barbie: Nicknamed Eve, created by God, to help look after wild man
Rod Strickland.

Sabres Barbie: That's blood, not lipstick.

Notre Dame Barbie: Better than the rest. Just ask her. (Also N**h model)

Texas Tech Barbie: Not available until next century, when she comes off
NCAA probation.

Braves Barbie: Wears makeup, uses sex to sell and does tomahawk, just like
former feminist-activist Jane Fonda.

Brewers Barbie: Not as shapely as other models because of all those beers
and brats -- but she belches on command, which guys think is pretty cool.

If you thought Beanie Babies induced mass hysteria, just wait until the
complete Barbie sports line gets here. Give them away at games, and people
might go see the Pittsburgh Pirates play. With proper input and design,
Mormon bachelor Steve Young, 36, long in search of the perfect woman but
running short on options as he gets older, might actually marry 49ers
Barbie.