Rider

[Mike Dynon <mdynon@ix.netcom.com>]

Remember when there was talk about trading Dee Brown for Isaiah Rider? 
Later, some list members lamented that the proposed deal was never made.
(Are any of you still out there, and willing to admit to it?)  So, amid
the massive debate about Antoine's attitude, here is a column from The
Sporting News Sportsmail about a true problem child.  What would we ever
be saying if Rider wore a green uniform?
 
Mike Dynon
North Kingstown, RI

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The Rider chronicles:
              J.R.'s our Man of the Year
              APRIL 26, 1998 

by DAVE D'ALESSANDRO 

Readers are often critical of magazine columns -- of which
this applies, since we just had business cards made up --
because they say everything we write about is an Inane
Fabrication. So what follows, just this once, is a column
that includes Nothing But True Stuff. See if you like it. 

It has to be true, because this is the week we nominate
our Man of the Year, and we have to actually include a
few facts to justify bestowing this high honor on the Portland dandy. So
rather than subjecting you to the usual lead cannonballs of opinion and
fulmination, here's a trip around the season with our winner, J.R.
Rider: 

October 5 -- Opening day of camp, NBA suspends J.R. for the first two
regular season games for being found guilty of marijuana possession and
for pleading no contest to possessing illegal cell phones. Says J.R.:
"I'm not a wicked person. If there's a problem with J.R. Rider, he needs
to be on time, not that he's a gangster." Agent files grievance, stating
that J.R. is one of those Generation X type people who resulted from all
that atomic testing. 

October 10 -- J.R. gives official J.R. Thumbs-Up on new coach Mike
Dunleavy. "Not as tense as P.J. (Carlesimo) was," Rider says. "He's
easier to get along with. Who wants to come back to a guy who can't
smile?" GM Bob Whitsitt immediately issues coaching staff smiley buttons
for their lapels. 

October 11 -- Bill Musselman hired as bad cop to Dunleavy's good cop. He
and J.R. immediately get into fistfight over who was more despised in
Minneapolis. 

October 20 -- J.R., in the midst of a splendid preseason, stopped for
doing 73 in a 50 MPH zone and then has his Range Rover towed because he
didn't have an Oregon driver's license. 

October 21 -- J.R. fined and benched at start of preseason game because
he had gone home to Oakland and was late for a shootaround at Spokane,
Wash. The next day, Rider is cited for verbally abusing an Alaskan
Airlines flight attendant when fog delayed his attempt to join the team. 

October 23 -- Dunleavy says it's time for J.R., in his fifth season, to
"take more of a leadership role on our team." Rider agrees, noting "I've
always been a leader, in some way, on every team," and offers to drive
the team bus. 

November 3 -- J.R. drives to the wrong practice site, says the hell with
it, and goes back home to bed. Says J.R., "Bottom line, I made a
mistake. Have a field day with it." 

November 5 -- J.R. is fined $1,000 but is allowed to start against
Minnesota. "He's got to get it together eventually," says Kenny
Anderson, supporting Dunleavy's tolerance. Former Wolves teammate Tom
Gugliotta has a different take: "It brings back some memories," he says. 

November 6 -- Team announces that J.R. will buy 25 seats for
underprivileged kids in Section 222 at the Rose Garden. Teammates wonder
why they didn't put the kids in Section 911. 

November 20 -- J.R. is suspended for three games for spitting on a fan
in Detroit, costing him $164,025 in salary and raising his total of bans
to five over the season's first 14 games. Support for J.R. is strong
among teammates, who believe the fan provoked Rider. Stacey Augmon says,
"If someone threatened me and said something about my mother, I would
have broken his neck." Whitsitt announces that Augmon is signed to a
lifetime contract. 

November 24 -- Portland owner Paul Allen offers Rider 1,000 shares of
Microsoft if he doesn't expectorate on Monica Seles at any Rose Garden
game this season. OK, we made this one up. We think. 

December 6 -- While shooting 4-for-16 on national TV, Man of Spit
suddenly leaves the court with 2 minutes, 18 seconds left in the third
period in a game against Utah, never to return. He explains his stomach
was getting upset by watching Utah do "all that passing." 

December 8 -- Rider scores 21 of his 26 points in the second half and
holds Eddie Jones to 4-for-16 to help Portland beat the Lakers without
Shaq. Afterward, Rider crows, "When I was in Minneapolis, I owned him,
too. I'm tired of this Eddie stuff. I've proven hands down who is the
premiere player." 

December 9 -- In celebration of his owning Eddie Jones, Rider blows off
practice, is fined $2,500. 

December 10 -- Dunleavy announces that practices will now be moved from
11 to noon so his players could get more rest. 

December 26 -- The intrepid Portland Oregonian chases down a rumor that
an unnamed Blazer beat up a department store Santa Claus. Rumor is
proved baseless. Also unable to substantiate rumors that J.R. spit in
St. Nick's face because he didn't get the cell phone he wanted. 

January 5 -- Ray Allen of Milwaukee takes a pass from Terrell Brandon,
realizes he is completely alone, and knocks down the open 15-footer.
J.R., still in the backcourt, never bothered to guard his man. As
Brandon and Allen break out laughing, Dunleavy shouts to J.R., "Try to
stay within 10 feet of him." J.R. responds, "Don't worry about it."
Blazers lose, Rider tells a fan to shut up. 

January 13 -- J.R. shoots 6-for-17, highlighted by an airball launched
as he goes one-on-three against Miami, and gets into a heated argument
on the court with Anderson. Blazers lose, Rider tells fans to shut up. 

January 16 -- J.R. scores 32 in a loss at Minnesota, where Kevin Garnett
observes, "I've always felt J.R. has this animal inside him -- we young
people call it the beast." 

Janiuary 25 -- Latrell Sprewell hearings in full vigor in Portland. Some
Blazers are expected to testify. "I really want nothing to do with this,
unless Spre wants me to," says image-conscious J.R. "I really don't have
a clue what's going on." 

January 27 -- Carlesimo returns with his pathetic Warriors team to win
at the Rose Garden, where the crowd of 20,084 boo the Blazers off the
floor. Says J.R., "Our approach to the game was lackadaisical, and,
personally, I kind of took them lightly." 

February 10 -- J.R. walks out of a game against the Lakers, and is
suspended by the team. He explains he is tired of being booed, accuses
members of the organization and the Portland community of being racist,
that the "weight of the world" is on his shoulders, and that his life is
miserable. "I need more respect, and more just due," he says. Then he
imparts a mesmerizing tale of being followed by strange automobiles he
thought could have belonged to the FBI, of high-speed car chases, and of
the instances when the wife of a front-office employee "was looking me
up and down like I was crud on a stick." He adds that "40 miles down the
road, they're probably still hanging people from trees." 

February 12 -- Oregonian calls for Portland to terminate J.R.'s
contract. 

February 15 -- J.R. predicts the Damon Stoudamire-Kenny Anderson will
turn around his season. 

February 17 -- J.R. shows up late for Stoudamire's debut against Golden
State because he says there was a wreck on I-5. Dunleavy benches him. 

February 27: Two days after upsetting the Bulls in Chicago, Blazers lose
at Indiana, 124-59. 

March 1 -- During intros at Fleet Center, J.R. leaps to feet and sprints
to the locker room. Dunleavy dispatches Rick Brunson, then Carlos
Rogers, to find him. Augmon takes J.R.'s place for the opening tip. J.R.
explains that he often gets "sick," with cold sweats. "No wonder Eddie
Jones is scared of him," one observer says. 

March 17 -- Rider is booed during a home loss to Cleveland after
shooting an airball and sarcastically waving his arms asking for more.
"We play better on the road," he says. 

March 20 -- J.R. and Dunleavy have an obscene exchange during a
first-quarter timeout at Orlando. Rider bags the game after that, scores
two points in a 15-point loss, and challenges Dunleavy's authority at
halftime. "Hopefully, we won't have any more mishaps the rest of the
season," Dunleavy says. 

March 25 -- Rider is still being booed, and wonders, "I'm one of the top
five shooting guards in the league, across the board. What if we get to
the Finals? Will they still be booing me?" Stoudamire sits out his 10th
straight game (3-7), and is asked what the team is lacking.
"Professionalism," he says. 

March 29 -- Dunleavy allows Rider to stay home in Oakland for an extra
day after a game at Golden State, where he scored 21. "Be back on time
for Tuesday's practice," he tells J.R. 

March 31 -- J.R. shows up an hour late for practice and Dunleavy
suspends him for the next game at Utah. The Oregonian isn't told about
it until Dunleavy calls its reporter, who had already filed a story
about J.R. talking about how he's going to slice up Jeff Hornacek in
that game. 

April 1 -- Dunleavy says, "I told the team I wanted us to tighten the
ship and get ready for the playoffs, and that things weren't going to be
tolerated that could affect our chances." 

April 2 -- Blazers guard Gary Grant predicts "We're going to be a
surprise in the playoffs. Once we get everybody on the same page."
Blazers PR immediately issues J.R. directions to the local library. 

April 9 -- Jermaine O'Neal, 19-year-old forward, says, "We've been
saying all year that J.R. is our guy, and we're going to stick with him
no matter what. Sometimes, he just makes mistakes." 

April 10 -- Anderson, happier in Boston, predicts Portland will have a
similar playoff experience to last year. "They'll go out in the first
round," he says. "The missing ingredient? No seriousness." 

April 14 -- In the final week of the season, Monty McCutchen ejects J.R.
with a pair of quick technicals, the second coming from 65 feet away
when the ref saw J.R. give him a look from the bench. "It was a
stare-down, I guess," said J.R. "Unless he can read lips from that far." 

April 19 -- Rider finishes season with per-game averages of 19.7 points
(42.3 percent shooting), 4.7 rebounds, and 3.1 assists. "We want the
Lakers," he says. "We want to shock the world." 

April 24 -- Rider shows up on time for Game 1 of the playoffs. Shocks
world. 

Copyright 1998 The Sporting News.  All rights reserved.