New Diary Entry - PT

[SicilianMother@xxxxxxx]

In January this year I readily admitted that I had used a credit card to 
'research' listings that included sites offering images of the brutal abuse of 
children.
I think this admission that has since opened up the very real possibility of 
distortion. I have read recently, even in my own chat-room pages, that there 
is a question as to why I might have been 'wallowing' in such images. Or why I 
'accessed' an actual site containing such images. The latter term is one I've 
used myself here so I can't really complain.
But the facts are: I paid $5 to look at the Landslide listings. I had been 
tipped off about the listings portal by a friend in the USA who was also working 
to raise public awareness about such listings. I saw the listings and went no 
further. I did not take up a subscription to any of the sites listed, and I 
did not delve any further. But my name appeared in the credit card database 
with the rest of the subscribers.
The very first image I saw, referred to in my essay A DIFFERENT BOMB 
available on this site, was about the worst I ever saw - and that appeared on my 
screen one day without any warning, and no credit card was involved, no sexual 
search terms were used.
At the time of my $5 credit card transaction I was doing research. The 
campaign I proposed to begin early this year was going to be aimed entirely at the 
incredible avalanche of listings of sites advertising pornography that might 
involve children or minors. Many of these listings included brutal images 
(admittedly at very low resolution) but often blazers for the major credit card 
companies. I have since been informed that many of the most shocking of these 
listings lead to well known and well established high street Californian 
pornography suppliers.
I need to defend myself against the idea that I went looking for images on 
any pretext whatsoever. I was gathering facts about listings. It is also 
important to say that what I did was not illegal when I did it (the law in the UK was 
changed later) and as such I felt no need to 'hide' my name or my reputation 
by undertaking such research.