Horace Scooter?

[white-fang@genie.com]

Hey Scooter! Here's an idea for yah... Since you look like a cross between the
original Uncle Fester (Jackie Coogan) and Captain Lou Albano and perhaps
consider Uncle Ernie as a role model... (what a combination, huh?) Here's a
timely suggestion that may be of great value to you...

Go get a heavy, black magic marker and with it, draw a big "happy face" ie  :)
(with a circle around it) on the back of your bald head. You can call "him",
"Horace Scooter"! Just think, "Horace" can be your best friend... little
brother... "Nephew"... etc. and accompany you wherever you go. I'm sure with
the right combination of mirrors, you can sit there and "intellectualize"
together (Boy, I betcha you can really put Darwin in a spin!). And, for the
first time, you'll have eyes in the back of your head, helping ease the fear
you always have of an impending "riot". Just think of the plethora of
possibilities. People at work will no longer consider you "doom & gloom", but
"Happy Horice Scooter".

So... go ahead and try it.It will give you something meaningful to do with
yourself and perhaps you can re-enter society with a more refreshing outlook?
:) <- Horace IV

-wf