Selling Out....More Complaining
schrade at akrobiz.com
Sat Jun 5 10:39:49 CDT 2004
Repost from Relayers:
Surrender (your youth)
TV ad songs sell it back to you.
By Dave Ralis
"My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold..."
- J. Geils Band's "Centerfold," 1981 (Freeze Frame)
Now I know I'm getting old. Not only can't I stand most new music
today, but the songs I used to like more than 20 years ago are being
thrown back at me in TV commercials.
I should have expected this after Michael Jackson sold the rights to
the Beatles' "Revolution," over the objections of George Harrison
and Paul McCartney, so it could be used to pitch Nike sneakers to
overweight jogging yuppies back in 1986.
However, hearing what I once considered my generation's music used
to shill products has blindsided me.
Who would have thought in 1980 that New Wave geniuses Devo would
eventually agree to rewrite their song "Whip it," the band's satire
on "a society dehumanized by industry and commercialism," to sell
Swiffer - the newfangled broom/mop?
Guess where I'd like to crack that whip now?
Devo lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh Swiffered up the money without
any afterthought last year, telling AdAge.com "it was so absurd. We
like messing with the boundaries between art and commerce."
Getting a fresh paycheck from a song nearly a quarter century old
doesn't hurt either I guess, unless you were a fan of that band.
Like I was once a fan of Cheap Trick.
FUN IN THE SUN
"Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away..."
- "Surrender" by Cheap Trick, 1979 (Heaven Tonight)
Remember the first time you saw a picture of yourself from the '70s
and cringed at the clothes you were wearing. It doesn't matter if
you had on a polyester leisure suit and silk shirt, or a pair of
Toughskins corduroys. You wanted to burn the photo, right?
That's exactly the feeling I got a few months ago when I first heard
Cheap Trick's "Surrender" being used to sell vacations to Universal
Studios in Florida.
I was born in 1967 and grew up on classic Rock. For me, this song
helped stick a fork in the ass of Disco, which I truly despised. The
anthem even provided some wry social commentary on the impact war
can have on families.
Sure the chorus sounds great in the TV spot. But did the Universal
folks actually read the rest of the lyrics before they agreed to it?
I think not.
"Mother told me, yes, she told me I'd meet girls like you.
She also told me, 'Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch.'
Just the other day I heard of a soldier's falling off.
Some Indonesian junk that's going round."
Let's see: Heroin, the clap (AIDS wasn't envisioned yet), watching
your parents have sex, and mom once served as a WAC in the
Philippines (Kids, get out your history books to understand that
joke.). Not exactly my idea of a fun-filled vacation in the sun.
LUXURY VEHICLES, CLASSIC ROCK
"It's been a long time since I rock and rolled,
It's been a long time since I did the Stroll."
- Led Zeppelin's "Rock & Roll," 1970 (Led Zepplin IV)
I was still a toddler when Led Zeppelin first recorded that hit. But
the album was one of the first I bought less than 10 years later.
(If I remember correctly, you washed the album sleeve with water and
it changed colors.)
Heck, my generation even lovingly ripped on the album in the Sean
Penn classic movie, "Fast times at Ridgemont High."
Led Zepellin once drove packed arenas crazy with that song. And now
what is it being used for?
To sell Cadillac Escalade SUVs.
I'm only slightly comforted by the thought that if you're old enough
to afford to buy and drive one of those behemoths, it may have
actually been awhile since you rock and rolled. (Unless, you're a
rap star or a pro athlete.)
As fast as you can physically put a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
(Don Henley's "Boys of Summer," from the 1985 album Building the
Perfect Beast), Jaguar has countered Cadillac's blast from the past
with an equally mismatched one of its own.
The new Jag commercials currently inundating the TV airwaves feature
the opening lines and chorus of Queen's "I'm in love with my car,"
from 1975's A night at the opera.
"The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
(The comercial cuts out these two lines)
With the pistons a pumpin'
And the hub caps all gleam"
I wonder if the marketing folks at the venerable British car company
ever bothered to listen to the song's next lines:
"When I'm holdin' your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hand's on your grease gun
Oh it's like a disease son"
The sound at the end isn't an engine revving, it's Freddie Mercury
spinning in his grave. Now that he's gone, the surviving members
have no problem selling out for big bucks.
Queen and the Rolling Stones have also signed contracts to lend
their songs for Coke's new low-carbohydrate line of soda, C-2,
according to Queen's official Web site.
'THEY'RE ALL WASTED'
"The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
So let's get together
Before we get much older"
- "Baba O'Reilly" by The Who, 1971 (Who's Next)
I'll admit I thought it was funny, when the surviving members of The
Who agreed to sell their song, "Who are you?" to CBS so it could be
the theme for the TV show Crime Scene Investigation (CSI).
But Pete Townsend and Roger Daltry have gone too far now, selling an
instrumental-only version of their classic anthem "Baba O'Reilly"
(commonly referred to as "Teenage Wasteland") to Hewlett Packard.
It makes you wonder what the marketing guys at HP were smoking
before they made that call.
I listened to that song nearly every day on the school bus growing
up (Thank you WMMR!). And let me tell you, when I think of angst-
ridden suburban teenagers experimenting with drugs and sex, the last
thing I think of is buying a computer.
It's too bad the band that coined the phrase "I hope I die before I
get old" nearly 40 years ago ("My Generation" in 1965) didn't heed
their own advice and just fade away.
Dave Ralis' Pave The Grass column appears on Mondays. You can send
him an e-mail at dralis at phillyburbs.com or call him at 215-269-5051.
- SCHRADE in Akron
John Kerry For President
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