My thoughts today



SicilianMother at aol.com SicilianMother at aol.com
Sat Apr 24 18:50:39 CDT 2004


Being a Who fan............it ain't pretty some times.  But, I still very 
much embrace it.

When I first got on this list a few years ago, I was almost completely 
oblivious to the names of the listers here.  When people wrote, I read it and 
thought about it and then posted what I felt in my heart.  I could give a shit if 
anyone read it or who wrote what.  That isn't what the writing was about to me.

It was like that for a long time.  Slowly and almost reluctantly, I started 
to remember who was who and who was into this or that.  I learned who was 
pro-Kenney Jones, who was anti-Who after John died, who was level headed and who 
was hot-headed. 

I like to listen and usually like to back up the women on the list, 
especially since we are so outnumbered.  I think it is interesting to hear Who comments 
from a woman's point of view once in a while.  The woman's Who perspective is 
somewhat different if not rare.  But, I think we need *more* estrogen here to 
balance things out.  The large amounts of testosterone around here make it an 
interesting place for a woman like me to try and be herself.  "I work myself 
to death, just to fit in."

Oh, I have went to the female Who lists but definitely felt like I did NOT 
fit in on those.  I like to joke about Roger's cute hair in Tommy or Pete's cute 
butt in his white work suit, but that is so not what the Who are about to me. 
 Although lately I have to admit after watching some old video's I am 
developing a strange post humus crush on Keith Moon!

When I first saw how long time listers had so much history with each other 
and how that played a part in how they posted, I thought that there is an aspect 
to this part of being a Who lister that I am not experiencing. 

Now I wonder, how did I exist here, so blissfully content before I had these 
realizations and can I go back to that?

I think one of the most shocking things to happen on this list is when I 
received a private email from an assumed lurker  who told me they wished I would 
do them a favor a blow my head off, I'd be doing the world a favor.  Wow!  That 
person is taking this all WAY too seriously!!  How could little 'ole Johanna 
invoke such passionate hate?  Another Jo-hater told me in very colorful and 
angry language that I should learn to stop making up my own topics.  Oh, I see, 
I need to blindly follow others......NOT!!!

I swear though, the more I used to get into angry confrontations here, the 
more appropriate it seems to me.  Not that I like it, but those things mirror 
what Pete has written about so much:

I could go on days about how the lyrics of this band, of this poet named Pete 
Townshend interprets the thoughts in my own head.  Also, the events of his 
own life, although not identical, I can relate to:  suicidal thoughts, being 
wishy washy, acting on what is on my heart, not thinking about how others will 
interpret my words, being caught being stupid, etc., etc., etc.,.

It cracks me up that we are all fans of the Who and most of Pete's stuff is 
about being generally fucked up yet when a person, who is not Pete, does 
something generally fucked up, it is so shocking and wrong (Please don't write back 
to explain it to me, I know the answer!)  If he does something weird, it is 
f***ing brilliant.  Why? "Because he is f***ing Pete Townshend!"

But, if nothing else, it certainly explains, why THIS Who fan loves the band 
so much.  They aren't very pretty, they aren't very nice and they are 
definitely very angry.  On most days, that describes me to a tee.

When I listen to their songs, it evens out this bi-polar c*nt (another loving 
name giving to me in a private hate email by an anonymous lurker).  I hear or 
watch Pete, Roger, John and Keith and it feels like an old shoe.  My brain 
goes into a comfort mode.  When that goes away, I won't be a fan anymore.  *If* 
that goes away, which I still expect it will and that is the main reason why I 
still haven't gotten my Who tattoo.  I still expect myself to grow up one 
day.  I don't want a tattoo to add to my hopefully short list of regrets.

But, the reason why I log this information into memory, isn't because I am a 
glutton for punishment.  It isn't because I have no life outside of this list. 
 With the size of my family and the responsibilities I have, believe me, this 
list is extremely minor.  I would even call it a hobby that I like to use as 
a distraction.  The reason I write and read here is because..........I don't 
know.  There is a good reason, but I haven't come up with it yet.  When I 
figure it out, I'll let you know.

Jo :)


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