Shoo Fly Pie And Apple Pan Dowdy

Eggcentric at Eggcentric at
Wed Jun 20 08:58:50 CDT 2007

The list of available players via trade reads like a who's who of 
all-stars. Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, Jermaine O’Neal, Shaun
Marion, Andre Kirilenko, Pau Gasol, Rashard Lewis, Vince 
Carter, Jason Richardson, Antawn Jamison, Rasheed Wallace, 
Josh Smith, Zach Randolph, Ron Artest, Mike Bibby   Enough to 
make your eyes light up and your tummy say "Howdy," right?


The theory was that Danny would amass a bunch of young 
trading chips without thought to position, team chemistry, 
veteran mentors, or winning percentage. And that by year 
five (formerly year three) of his el jefehood he would somehow 
magically cash in a few of these priceless chips for players 
who would make us whole, i.e. immediate contenders, right?


Actually Celt fans were never talking just CONTENDERS, they were 
talking CHAMPIONS.   Improving upon 33 and 24 win seasons to 
merely become a first round playoff one-and-done just won't do.    
Going from A to B only to live in perpetual mediocrity is way 
below the expectations of fans who after Gavitt, Carr, Pitino, 
Wallace, and Ainge, still believe in Santa Claus.   We must go 
from A to C.   And C stands for championship.   Piece of cake, 
oops, I mean Shoo Fly pie, right?


There's just one little fly in the pie.   It turns out that we 
have a few less trading chips than we thought.   We have the 
#5 pick, and we have Big Al and we have uh err uh hmmmm ... 
But who's counting?   The #5 and Big Al are plenty enough 
ammo to finally bring us a veteran all-star, right?


It turns out that almost no one wants to part with our chips. 
Steve Knight says he wouldn't trade Big Al for anything less 
than Tim Duncan.   Hartley doesn't think there's anyone he 
would give up Big Al for.   And it sounds like lots of folks on 
this list agree with them that Big Al, warts and all, does indeed 
walk on water. So let's remove Big Al from our short list of 
trading chips.   But we can still trade the #5 pick in a package 
for a topnotch vet, can't we?   What's that you say, Mark Berry?    
Okay, okay.   So let's remove the #5 pick from our trading chips 
list as well.   

I'm thinking, I'm thinking. There is one more possible trading 
chip ... Theo's expiring contract. Now that tickles my tummy. 
We keep Big Al and the #5 and get one of the above all-star 
types for Theo and Allen Ray, right?


Yet another extended high buck contract (along with Pierce, 
Wally, and soon-to-be Jeff) would financially paralyze poor
Wyc and our team for years to come.   Adding just one topnotch 
veteran wouldn't be nearly enough to make us champions.   
And teams willing to trade such a big time talent for Theo 
would also demand a decent player(s) and/or draft pick(s) 
thrown in to appease their fans and cement the deal.   

Oh dear, what to do, what to do.   I feel an attack of the vapors 
coming on, no doubt just a bit of temporary flatulence due to 
being served too many Grouspaingel (™ Kestas) pan dowdys. 
No deal seems to work. So just forget about all those available 
all stars. Celtic Nation has spoken.   Big Al is better than all 
of 'em put together, anyone we draft at #5 is sure to be a
future Hall of Fame inductee, and we're so good and brimming 
with the promise of youth that we don't need any of those high 
buck prima donnas.   Besides, I understand the Nuggets are 
willing to instantly upgrade our team by offering us Anthony 
Carter and Von Wafer for Telfair.   And Danny, never one to 
miss out on a bargain and still searching for a 3 pt. shooter, 
is also at the ready to sign Ohio St. guard, Ron Lewis, in the 
likely event he won't be drafted, right?


"If Lewis wasn't already a senior, he'd be a sure lottery pick in
the 2010 draft." 

Yup, Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy.   I never get enough 
of this wonderful stuff.


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