Re: Pete & "Recovered Memories"

[SicilianMother@xxxxxxx]

In a message dated 1/15/2004 3:38:15 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
schrade@xxxxxxxxxxx writes:
<<Jo, since you bravely came out of the closet with your admission
<<of being abused, can you shed any light on this?

I was 10 and stayed with this Uncle and Aunt out of town for the summer when 
it took place.  I never told anyone about it, after it happen. I was 
embarrassed, ashamed, etc., all the things that prevent most children from telling 
someone.

When I was about 16, I visited some relatives out of state that were talking 
about this uncle and they were talking about what a pervert he was. A sort of 
lightbulb went off and I guess that gave me the courage to tell what he did to 
me.  So, when I got back to California, the first thing I did when I got off 
the plane was tell my parents what happened, what Uncle Roland did to me when 
I was 10.  This was 6 years after it happened.

I think the most traumatic part was when I had my own kids, especially my 
beautiful daughter.  I imagined what I would do if someone did something to her.  
I became absolutely enraged at my father and mother because I felt like they 
didn't protect me, defend me, nothing and they couldn't explain, to my 
satisfaction, why, they almost made it seem like it was my fault.  That was the final 
straw before I unsuccessfully tried to kill myself.  The pain was too much to 
bear.  That was just less then two years ago and I am 37 now.

It is a long road, and very painful.  Hard to even write about it without 
crying.........hard.

The memory of what my uncle did to me never left.  So "recovered memories" 
wasn't applicable in my case.  As far as therapists, the ONLY thing ever said to 
me about it is "as a therapist, I am mandated to report child abuse".  

The uncle eventually went to jail for molesting his young step daughter.  He 
is out of jail now, and my only prayer is that since he is in his late 70's, 
he no longer has any sex drive left.  Otherwise, statistically, he is probably 
still molesting children.

On a better note, Phoenix Survivors gives little bravery award to children 
under 16 who courageously tell an adult if they have been sexually molested.  I 
think that is awesome.

Jo