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Rough Girls and Going to the Mawl



Jo/Sandy:

>Jim:  Great, Me and the guys figured out how we can write our first AND last
>name in the snow!!!!!
>His wife: a....yeah.....<well, he is good for ONE thing at least>

Hey, it's good to have at least ONE talent!

>Did that come off as being mean?  Jim,  I hope you know I was just joshin'
with ya.

But of course Godmother...just a little good natured fun is all.  And don't
apologize for your ribbing, it takes the fun out of it!

>I love men and I wouldn't want to live without them.

I would.  They're all hairy and smelly.

>You really wouldn't want us women to swing the ax, then we would all be too
muscular!

That's a good point.  I don't want my wife cracking walnuts with her biceps
(insert entendre here).

Kevin:

>Chop:  Vermont has these things called...ummm....Wood Splitters!  ;-)

Kevin, manly men don't use splitters...if any women are looking that is.

>Chunks?"  You mean "blocks", right?  Come on Jim!  You're letting your
rookieness show!

Yeah, but they tell me if I get my average up some more, I'll be in the "Bigs"
by spring training.  Truth is, I'm from Chicago so all this Lumberjack crap is
new to me.  I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I like to press wild flowers...
Oh, and I bet you call the toilet a "lieu" too.  And you take the "lift" to
the upper floors.

>Axe?:  Come on Colorado!  Don't make the wife use an Axe!  Go buy yo self a
good Mawl.

Actually it *was* a mauler (I bet you call a can of pop "soda" too, you wuss).
I didn't want to get into too much detail so I just threw that out there.  A
see-gar for you for catching it.

>You are using a chainsaw, aren't you?  Or does Colorado still use the two
person 'push-me-pull-you' wood saws??   ;-)

Ha!  I used to think the two man saw was the way to go until I saw Moe get
nailed in face by one when Curly bent it too far.

>Dead Trees?:  Harvest some live mature trees.  Don't be afraid.

You keep that kind of talk up, and you're gonna get kicked out of the
International Association of Tree Huggers!  ;-)  You aren't allowed to cut
down any living trees around here - period.  Last year, during the Hayman fire
(which was the largest wild fire in Colorado history and which raged a mere 5
miles from my house) environmentalists blocked firefighting crews from cutting
down a few trees to try and contain the blaze and prevent it from spreading.
So, instead of cutting down let's say...100 trees to help contain the fire,
they insisted on letting THOUSANDS of acres burn instead.  Ain't that a peach?
They even blocked several construction companies from donating heavy equipment
to help the firefighters because the companies were on some environmental shit
list.  We don't want your stinking bulldozers you bad old construction
company; we'll just let it all burn down to teach you a lesson!  If that isn't
cutting off your nose to spite your face I don't know what is.  Nope, around
here, you cut down dead trees or Barbara Streisand will be picketing in front
of your house calling you "baby killer".  Uh-uh...

>Ski trails all cleared and ready too.

Amen to that brother.  I'm heading up to Breckenridge in mid December and I
can't friggin' wait.  I met a Norwegian guy at Winter Park, CO last year and
he told me that Colorado skiing blows the Swiss Alps away.  He said he doesn't
even bother going skiing in Europe anymore after doing Colorado once.  It's
why we moved here.  Go West young man!  The West is the beeeee-eeessst...get
here and we'll do the rest.

Simon:

>Sure enough, she was soon bopping along to Boris. Then she asked for "Happy
>Jack". But when "Magic Bus" kicked in, she *demanded* that I join her for a
>dance. Then onto "Substitute" and "I'm a Boy".

Awesome story.  I have a friend of mine who's nephew used sing along and do a
hilarious dance to Happy Jack when he was but a wee lad.  The kid couldn't
talk yet, but he did a helluva job mimicking the lyrics.  Happy Gibberish
Jack, but wonderful entertainment.

Jim in Colorado who uses an axe to cut down the tree, and a mauler to split
the BLOCKS.  There, I said BLOCKS, are you happy now!?!  Now go and get
yourself a diet soda.