The real deal

["Kevin O'Neal" <kevinandt@xxxxxxxxx>]

>From: "L. Bird"
>Subject: Re: Why to Rolling Stone?
>
>Pete sort of interrupted us in the middle of the discussion, and I think
the lesson we can learn from that is that he's going to do whatever he wants
to about it

Who here even thought for a moment that Pete was listening or that what we
say here is in anyway meant to influence Pete?
So, that's no lesson that *I* just learned.

>, and we don't really have much say in it--nor can we really demand
explanations from him by chatting on a public list.

I find this strange.  My intentions were not to demand anything from Pete.
I was, as you say, "chatting on a public list".
Don't know where you're coming from.

>I hope you and Scott do feel better about the whole thing for having talked
about it--and like I said to Scott, hopefully Pete will write us some songs
in >apology/thanks/explanation. That's his best way of communicating how he
feels anyhow.

<breaking into song>
Ohhhhhh, the sun will come out ....*to*morrow, bet your bott-tom doll-are,
there'll be sun...
*To* morrow, *To*morrow, I'll love ya, .....

**SMASH** , **CRASH**, *SPLINTERING WOOD*
<picture Animal House's John Belushi grabbing guitar and smashing it all
over the stairwell>

The sun may be shining.............BUT NOT FOR ME!
I don't know who *you're* talking to, but here's the real deal that *I* run
into:

Ran into a good friend of mine and former next door neighbor Thursday at
Sears.
He's a burley full-bearded, highly intelligent, soft, kind guy who makes
fabulous guitars by hand.  Gathers his own wood from VT wood-lots, planes
them himself.  The whole 9 yards.
He's been/is *very* involved in the VT and New England music scene.  Has
been the chief organizer for "Vermont Reggae Fest" over the last dozen
years. Hangs with local bands such as The Seth Yackavonne Band, and Smokin'
Grass.  Is very good friends with Tre Anestasio and the rest of Phish.
Is a big Who fan..attended the Hershey show (although I didn't hook up with
him), and was front row with me jamming out to The John Entwistle Band when
they were here.  He even recorded a DAT of the show.

Naturally the subject of John and Pete came up.
When speaking of John:  Great memories, respect, a bit pissed at coke use,
bummin' about what could have been, glad we had the opportunity to see him
at such a small venue like Higher Ground.

When speaking of Pete and the whole thing, his initial reaction was "Hey,
they didn't find anything, so, cool, there's no trial and no jail time".
When we really started to dig into it......when I came right out and asked
him what he thought about it all, he shot me this look that SCREAMED "come
on man, get *serious*" and then stated matter of factly  "Pete was surfing
around in Kiddie Porn and got bagged."

Fuck!  Not the answer I was hoping for.
What sucks, is that I couldn't even bring myself to try and defend him.
There was just no way.

That kind of shit, and the fact that I don't even feel comfortable bringing
up Pete's name in front of people like my *parents* prevents me from taking
such an optimistic and "sound the all clear signal!" point of view.

We continued to talk, and got around to Pete's removed diary entry which my
friend had actually seen (to my surprise).
He shook his head and got a really serious look on his face, like you would
when entering a conference room to chat with lawyers,....so, all
business..... and said "That's typical Pete on stage.  Like how he opened
Hershey with the 'Fuck off all of ya'.  But someone should have reminded
Pete that this wasn't a concert.  That this was one of those times when that
attitude needs to be set asside."

What could I say to that?  I agreed with every word.

It is *obvious* to *anyone* talking to other people and really looking at
the situation, that Pete has a very, very long road ahead of him.
A road that I'm not so sure will ever end.
I don't believe Pete should write songs about this.  Does anyone *really*
want to listen to a Who song or Pete song about fucking up and hurting folk
and viewing child porn, etc. ?
I believe the fastest way to the end of that road is for him to talk about
it.  He is an excellent communicator.  After a bit of distance, it is my
hope, and *has* been my hope, and has *never* been my demand, that Pete will
sit with someone and talk calmly about all of this, and in that discussion
will express his true sorrow for causing anyone, particularly victims, hurt
or harm, and then restate how wrong it was to pay for entry into such a
site.  A well crafted diary entry could achieve much of the same result.

Welcome to *my* melancholia.
Kevin in VT