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settling off-list
> I'm not sure that trying to settle things off list is the best way, MC. As
> Kevin says, it tends to involve families, and can often be mis-interpreted
> as harassment, especially when the info offered privately later makes a
> debut on the list. Plus, I find that most people are concerned with
> appearances on the list, and they want everyone to consider them "right" and
> not just the person they're arguing with. Now and then two folks will write
> in and say they've settled something off list, but it
> doesn't happen very
> often.
I have to admit, I had NO idea that Kevin shared an e-mail acct with his wife and that his wife might be checking and reading his e-mails. Had I known that, or had he told me that right off, I would have specifically addressed them to Kevin. It was a very long time ago that this happened, but if she was offended or hurt in any way, I am sorry. I would like to re-read the e-mails I sent at some point, for I can't really remember them. Kevin, I would appreciate your sending them to me if you have them saved somewhere (though I doubt you did). I honestly don't remember what the whole dispute was about, but I am sure I didn't just start sending profanity-laced e-mails over some normal, on-list debate.
In any event, Keets, I am not looking to settle things with Kevin off-list to then announce to the world that we have made up. I want to resolve it because I don't enjoy having to endure constant personal attacks when I have vowed not to respond in kind. I WILL not resort to name-calling as a fight fire with fire defense, and I know better than to try to playfully jab at those whom I dislike or who dislike me. That's instigating and I have and will live up to my promise of 18 months ago to cease that behavior.
Kevin has summarily rejected my offer of peace, ignoring my promise to resign if I curse or insult or attack in ANY way. I guess he enjoys fighting with me too much. It's the only explanation I have. He will continue to insult and I will remain on my best bahavior. I was hoping to get past it so that K and I could have a good laugh over it all and get to the point where little digs are are taken lightly and with good humor. K isn't interested, I'm sad to say.
The issue is over... for me, anyway.
Mc