[no subject]

Yes, it is a fantastic job and I am lucky but in the
end it is a job and I like to think that I work hard
doing what I do. Because Im a huge fan whos now on
the inside thats why I feel can offer a unique
insight.

At the moment though it feels neither lucky nor
fantastic. Im mourning John both as a fan and as
someone I knew. I would like to say we were friends.
We spent many a happy hour together and I visited him
quite a few times at his home. Im sure we were
friends but John knew many people in that way. He was
that sort of geezer. He was approachable and caring.
He is a star. What Im surrounded by now in LA are his
real friends. People that have known him near enough
all their lives and others who have known him for most
of their adult lives. Im hurting bad about John dying
but I cant even begin to guess how Pete and Roger and
his close friends and colleagues such as Bill, Cy,
Bobby, Mick and Johns techie Andy Field must feel.

I know a lot of discussion has gone on about the bands
decision to carry on. I spent the whole of Thursday
night debating with myself whether I thought they
should, like it was in any way any of my business
(goes back to that reaching out to us as individuals
guys, we feel empowered!) and managed to engage myself
in quite a lively discussion (if room service had come
in at that time they would have wondered what was
going on in that head) as to the pros and cons of both
sides. I went to bed believing that they shouldnt
carry on and woke up believing they should. Thats
still my view. I think the decision to carry on is a
brave one and one I know that both Pete and Roger
would have agonised over it. I think Rogers message
last night summed it up perfectly  their
relationships transcend friendship, it is something
much greater than friendship. There was a bond between
the three of them that needed no words. You only had
to see them together to realise that. I really do
believe that their reasoning for carrying on is right
too. John, I think, would have wanted it. His mum and
son know that too which is why they too support the
decision. As a fan I respect that and will offer any
support I can. I also respect Pete, Roger, Rabbit and
Zak (and also Pino Palladino who must be in such a
difficult position) as human beings. Make no mistake
about this. The fact that they are going on stage on
Monday does not make them cold uncaring people, far
from it; I believe it shows their humanity. They have
a lot of responsibilities to a lot of people here, not
least the fans and I think its incredibly brave what
they are doing.

The newspapers, Internet and TV have been full of
tributes to John. The best description I read was in
yesterdays USA Today where he was described as The
Temple of Anchored Watts So clever but also so true.
Roger said that the band will be different. Of course
it will. In my mind John will be missed even more so
than Keith, but what greater tribute to John can there
be than hearing his friends play the music he loved
and contributed so greatly to? None. It will be
strange on Monday, very strange. It will be emotional
but I think (hope) cathartic also. Im sure as the
days pass Pete and Roger will say more about their
friend. But Im sure its difficult and nobody should
rush them for comments. I thought Roger was
particularly brave when he rang me last night to talk
about putting something on the site. Both of us were
choked trying to put it together on the phone. Andy
Neill and myself had a book published on The Who
virtually the day John died. On Friday morning, in the
wake of Johns death, I was contacted and asked
whether I would appear on a few radio and TV spots to
talk about John. I couldnt. I hadnt been gagged or
anything, I just couldnt do it. Maybe in a few days I
could but not at that moment. 

Both Andy and Myself got our first copies of the book
while the band were in rehearsals in London. We were
of course eager to show it off to the band and get our
copies signed. Both were duly signed and in Andys
copy John prophetically wrote  I hope it has an happy
ending. Like Roger said yesterday I can begin to look
back on that now and start to smile. Im sure John
would be smiling at that too. Rock and roll is about
the music and not the lifestyle but Id like to think
that given the choice he went as he would have wanted
to. My own thoughts go out to Queenie, Christopher and
Lisa. All of them have been very kind to me and they
have my best wishes. 

Pete, Roger, John and Keith have always been my
heroes. I first met Roger, Pete and John in 1975,
not that they would remember anything about it, and I
was lucky enough to have met Keith a month or so
before he died. During those 30 or so years as a fan
Ive had both good and bad times with the band. Im 43
now and probably too old to have heroes but for some
reason I dont feel that way. John and Keith will
always be my heroes now, never to be taken away. Pete
and Roger have gone way past that stage for me now. I
cant begin to express the respect I have for what
they are doing. 

I wish Pino all the best. Hes been called in at the
last minute to help the tour continue. Can you imagine
being in such an unenviable position? I cant. I think
Monday night will see a new chapter begin but I dont
for one second think it will be an attempt to close an
old one. John, like Keith, will not be forgotten. He
lived for music and I for one will be at the Bowl on
Monday (albeit in my rarefied position at the front
of stage) celebrating the music he lived for. Roger
said yesterday about his belief that music can help
lift peoples spirits. In Lifehouse Pete wrote about
the power of music to unite. For a group that can
touch us all so individually there is also this
underlying call for us to unite in congregation. Now
is the time.

Matt 


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-Brian in Atlanta
The Who This Month!
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