Who's old?

[thewho rocks <leb905@yahoo.com>]

Our local paper has a column called "Off-Kilter."  Here's the offering
for today:

Bands Modify Lyrics for Aging Baby-boomer Fans

Now that the generation that sang, "Hope I die before I get old" is
actually getting old, can it still relate to the rock songs of its
youth?  Or is it time to change the lyrics of such baby boomer classics
as "I Can See for Miles" to "I can see for miles, thanks to Lasik eye
surgery, but I can't focus on anything up close"?

In an effort to better reflect the lifesytles of older listeners,
several big-name rock acts have begun updating their past hits.  For
example, the Beatles have released a new greatest hits collection
targeted at elderly boomers.  The songs include: "With a Little Help
from Depends," "Lucy in the Sky with Dentures," "I've Just Seen a
Face-lift," "Drive My Car (Because the DMV Revoked My License),"
"Happiness is a Warm Bedpan," "I Feel Fine (Except for Some Lower Back
Pain )" and "Help! I've Fallen, and I Can't Get Up!"

In a similar vein, Steely Dan just recorded "Rikki Don't Lose That
Walker."  And Lynyrd Skynyrd is reworking "Free Bird" into "Early
Bird," a live tribute to discount meals for seniors.

The Rolling Stones have also retooled several hits, accoring to Chris
Willman of ENTERAINMENT WEEKLY.  The new tunes include:
"Angie-oplasty,"  "Sympathy for Wilford Brimley," "You Can't Always Pee
When You Want," "Let's Spend Our Remaining Time Together," "It's Only
Rock 'n' Roll (But I Can't Hear It)," "Ex-Lax on Main Street," "Six
p.m. Rambler," "Jumpin' Jack Benny,"  "Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Pacemaker)"
and "Dye it Black."
 

LB

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