humor

["christopher n. collier" <collier@iglou.com>]

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here is a little humor that was sent to me, hope you all enjoy it!! it
is funny

http://www.iinet.net.au/~axe/2/humhickj.txt
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christopher n. collier
collier@iglou.com

SCCA Member
R254561
Region 017

97 VW Jetta GLX VR6
Digest Version of Mods Available Upon Request.......

In search/need of a 2.0L 16v engine for project car


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Q:  What has 99 legs & 49 teeth?
A:  The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush."


Q:  What is the definition of a hillbilly virgin?
A:  An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.

Q:  What's the difference between trash and white trash?
A:  Absolutely nothing.  They both drive around in dump
    trucks, smell like shit, and get more and more rotten
    each day.


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There were this guy from Arkansas named
Jethro walking down the road one day
till he noticed his friend across the road carrying a bag.

Jethro: "Hey Billy Joe what you got in that bag?"

Billy Joe: "In this bag here I got me chickens."

Jethro: "Chickens! I sure would like chickens. I bet you
if I guess how many chickens you got in that thar
bag you give me one..."

Billy Joe: "Sheeeeiiit Jethro if you guess how many
chickens I got in this bag I'll give you 'both' of them"

Jethro: "uhhh...5"

Billy Joe: "Nope"


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HILLBILLY MOM TO HILLBILLY SON

Dear Son,

   I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast.  We don't live
where we did when you left.  Your dad read in the paper where the most
accidents happened within twenty miles of home,...so we moved.

   I wont be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that
lived here
took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to
change their address, wish I would have thought of that.

   This place has a washing machine.  The first day I put four shirts in
it,
pulled the chain, and haven't seen 'em since.  It only rained twice this
week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

   The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little
too
heavy to send in the mail with those heavy buttons, so we cut them off and
put them in the pockets.

   We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last
payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

   About your sister, she had a baby this morning.  I haven't found out
whether it is a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle,
yet.

   Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat.  Some of the men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off and drowned.  We cremated him, and he
burned for about 3 days.

    Three of your friends when off the bridge in a pickup. One was
driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out.  He rolled
down the
window and swam to safety.  The other two drowned.  They couldn't get the
tailgate down in time.

Not much more news this time, nothing much happened.

                                        Love, Mom.

P.S. I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU MONEY, but the envelope was already sealed.



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fn:             collier, christopher n.
n:              collier;christopher n.
org:            C2 Motorsport
adr:            1610 bonnycastle ave;;;louisville;kentucky;40205;usa
email;internet: collier@iglou.com
title:          co-owner
tel;home:       502.458.8769
note:           NEED: 2.0L 16v engine and tranny
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x-mozilla-html: TRUE
end:            vcard


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