The Herald is alive and well: A plethora of Obieisms

[Eggcentric@xxxxxxx]

Following is the first Celt column in the Herald in a very long time. Did 
it have to be such a wishy-washy spin job?  Damn near choked to death 
on my sesame bagel this AM as I attempted to digest Murphy's column.  
Couldn't resist but to add my own noxious comments in (   ). 
----------------
O'Brien pushes to keep C's on run 

by Mark Murphy 
Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Like the offensive attack he hopes to improve this season, the pace in 
Jim O'Brien's office kicked into fast-break mode this week.

(Ouch!  At this point I assumed the column would only degenerate... 
and it did.) - Egg

As difficult as it may be to fathom, in 24 days O'Brien will usher in his 
third training camp as Celtics coach, with the goal of changing the style - 
if not the personnel - of the team that reached last season's conference 
semifinals.

(The BIG QUESTION which Ray asked - new style vs. same old personnel. 
And the winner will be ....................?  At least it adds an exciting 
flavor to 
the upcoming season.) - Egg

Like basketball operations chief Danny Ainge, O'Brien wants the team to 
run more.  Then again, so does every other NBA team at this time of year.

``I don't think there's been a year I've coached when you don't want to run 
more,'' O'Brien said yesterday. ``The object is to get as many clean looks at 
the basket before the defense sets as you can.

(Sounds good, feels bad) - Egg

``The fact that we have guys who can fill the lane better now helps,'' 
added O'Brien, before heading off in a familiar, basic direction.

``You have to get stops to be a great running team,'' he said. 

(Stops as in turnovers, or as in more defensive rebounds?) - Egg

``Everything on our team starts from our halfcourt defense on out.''

(On out, not at the Battie maginot line? Whaaaaaaa, or as Snoopy says, 
Bleaah!  No wonder we were outscored by our opponents last season.) 
- Egg

Unlike divisional rivals New Jersey and Philadelphia, the Celtics have not 
bolstered themselves with glitzy offseason moves.

But free agent newcomers Jumaine Jones and Mike James should mark 
upgrades in the speed/athleticism department - especially with Jones' 
reputation as a wing scorer.

(Speed/athleticism?  How about proven talent, crafty knowledge of 
the game, and a bit of discipline?  At least Sundov is gone.) - Egg

Rookie point guard Marcus Banks is obviously the Celtics' investment in a 
new, improved ``push game.''

(We sure are banking a lot on this rookie.  A bit of Jalapeno pepper inserted
into a roster of boiled beef?) - Egg

Now, if they could only rebound - a need that depends, in large part, on an 
improbable return to form by last year's problem child, Vin Baker.

O'Brien went to Miami to assess the center's conditioning and game this 
summer, and though he declined to discuss what he saw, Celtics types are 
abuzz with talk of a revitalized and better-conditioned Baker.

(Obie's silence on Baker is exactly what we didn't want to hear. It appears 
Obie shrewdly doesn't consider alcohol solely responsible for all those 
missed rebounds, muffed catches, and silly personal fouls.) - Egg

All of which points to a particularly competitive training camp, with Jones 
pressing Eric Williams and Walter McCarty at small forward, and James in 
the point guard mix with Banks.

(Where is Kedrick?  And does Obie really feel that James is a PG?) - Egg

The differences between now and last year may seem subtle at first. 

(Or even at second glance, since so many are counting on a rookie PG, 
a discard from Cleveland, and a 56th draft choice to supply ''the 
differences.'' ) - Egg

But O'Brien believes the changes will show themselves in terms of depth, 
often a sore point last year.

The Celtics have 14 players under contract, a far cry from the threadbare 
12 that former owner Paul Gaston allowed the team to carry over the first 
half of last season.

(The only reason we have 14 instead of the originally planned-for 13 is 
Ainge's generous $366,931 concession to the fan's universal outcry 
to sign Hunter) - Egg

``A couple of years ago I remember Chris Wallace saying that you might 
not be able from year to year to improve your top seven greatly, but you 
can always improve your next five,'' said O'Brien. 

(So how come our bench strength shrunk to zilch-o last season?) - Egg

``We have a couple of guys right now who can compete for starting jobs.''

(Jones at SF over Obie's dead body.  And who else?) - Egg

``We certainly have more depth, and I think practices will become 
tremendously more competitive.''

Though none of the newcomers - Jones, James, Banks and fellow rookie 
Kendrick Perkins - are marquee material, that hasn't stepped in the way 
of O'Brien's enthusiasm.

(Banks isn't marquee material? And where is any mention of Hunter?)

``Our talent level is really dramatically better, when you look at the 
total of our roster,'' he said. ``We didn't add another All-Star to our 
team, but I think we added a great deal of depth and speed.

``On paper, we should be a better team,'' O'Brien added. 

``We have new guys, and better athleticism at the center spot because 
this time we have Mark Blount from the start of the season, in addition 
to Vin. We have a very fast rookie point guard. We have improved on our 
speed and physicalness.''

(Hang in there, Obie.  A fast PG and a full season of Blount should make 
all the difference... shouldn't it?  A....err... uh... I mean ... ) - Egg