Shaughnessy Says Bring On The Messiah And Treat Auerbach With Respect

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Some interesting comments by Shank. No Red Auerbach at the press
conference
and the alleged President of the Team didn't even know the names
of the new owners. Rich Geeks already screwing up....


OPINION

Straighten up and fly right


By Dan Shaughnessy, Globe Columnist, 9/28/2002

Memo to new Celtics owners: Want to make a few hundred thousand new
friends? Bring Larry Bird into the fold. And give Red Auerbach his
props. As soon as possible.


The vaunted Boston Celtics franchise was sold to three heretofore
anonymous guys (Wyc, Irv, and Steve - the WIS group?) for $360 million
yesterday, pending NBA approval. The newly famous owners - Wycliffe
Grousbeck, Irving Grousbeck, and Stephen Pagliuca - are local and claim
to be passionate about winning flag No. 17 for Celtics fans. They
replace the bloodless, chardonnay-drinkin', brie-eatin', squash-playin',
don't-be-overpayin' Paul ''Thanksdad'' Gaston, who never met a
spreadsheet he didn't like.

The new owners said they are still taking on new investors. It would be
wise at this time to find Steve Belkin and bring him into the fold along
with a certain blond-haired Hall of Famer who wants to be in charge of
player procurement for the Celtics. Belkin, Bird, and Co. are currently
trying to get an expansion franchise in Charlotte, N.C., but no doubt
would rather have a piece of the Celtics than own the entire city of
Charlotte.

Trust me, Wyc (sounds like one of Mitt Romney's kids' names) ... Belkin
and Bird will listen. Belkin will bring sacks of cash, Larry will become
your hoop guru, and the fandom will embrace your new regime.

The timing of yesterday's announcement was certainly curious. It's well
known Thanksdad and Bird don't like one another and it's almost as if
Gaston intentionally announced the deal on a day when Bird was making a
rare local public appearance at Magic Johnson's Hall of Fame induction
in Springfield. No doubt uncomfortable with the unexpected news, Larry
didn't have much to say, but we all know he'd come back to Boston if the
new guys let him shop for the groceries.

In addition to bringing Bird on board, the new owners must also bow at
the altar of Red. The Celtics Lion in Winter is 85 years old - the only
human who worked with both Walter Brown and Paul Gaston. Red has seen it
all. But he was not at yesterday's press conference and last night did
not know the names of the new owners. This isn't right.

The Celtics were born in 1946, the child of Walter Brown. They were
later owned by men named Lou Pieri, Marvin Kratter, Woody Erdman, Bob
Schmertz, Irv Levin, John Y. Brown, Harry Mangurian, and a holy trinity
of Don Gaston, Paul Dupee, and Alan Cohen. Thanksdad got the keys to the
car in 1992.

Red came on board with Walter Brown in 1950 and was forever the loyal
employee. Every time there was a change in ownership, Red would go to
his office wall, remove the photo of the old owner, and replace it with
a picture of the new guy. He pledged allegiance to all of them, even the
bad ones - John Y. Brown and Erdman.

''Erdman was a thief,'' recalled Auerbach, when reached at his home in
Washington. ''He had a company in New York and when we played there, he
used to take the gate receipts and never pay any bills. I once put out
six or seven thousand dollars of my own money so that we could make a
road trip. We were on a c.o.d. basis with the phone company and the
airlines. The guy was an out-an-out thief.''

In comparison, Paul Gaston looked pretty good to Red.

''Paul called me this afternoon,'' said Auerbach. ''He told me before it
came out. It was fairly sudden. He said it was one of those things that
you have to do. I don't blame him at all. What the hell?

''I'll tell you this: The guy has been great to me. There's nothing I
ever asked him for that he or his father said no. Whether it was money
or decisions or whatever.''

Auerbach lost his title of club president during Rick Pitino's
ego-driven regime.

''Yeah, that whole time was a mistake,'' said Red. ''But as soon as Rick
left, Paul came to me and said I would take the title back as president.
He'd made a little mistake and apologized.''

Auerbach will not thump his chest and explain that the Celtics are worth
$360 million because he and Bill Russell and Bob Cousy and John Havlicek
and Larry Bird put the team on the map. They made Celtics tradition and
yesterday that tradition was sold at a huge profit by a caretaker who
profited from the legacy of others.

It behooves the new people to tap into the human resources that made the
franchise fetch such a handsome price. That means Red and Larry.

Auerbach said Gaston told him he would arrange a meeting with the new
owners. That should have been done before yesterday, but there's still
time to correct the gaffe.

Does Red think Larry wants to come back?

''I would say so,'' said Auerbach. ''But I don't see anybody giving
Larry a big piece of the action compared to what he would get down there
in Charlotte.''

There's a way to make it happen. The new guys need to find the way.

Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe columnist. His e-mail address is
dshaughnessy@globe.com.