Chaos Prevails During First Day Of Training Camp As Baker Injures Pinky

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Vin Baker suffered a tooth mark sprain to his left pinkie in the opening
day
of a Celtics training camp marred by chaos. Baker was setting up in the
low post
awaiting the ball from defacto point guard Antoine Walker high out on
the perimeter,
but was frozen out by Walker, who took 15 three-pointers in a span of 13
seconds,
and was engrossed in a love sonnett, written for and read to him by
coddling coach
Jim O'Brien.

Baker enraged, rushed up to Toine and tried to pry the ball out of his
hands,
but was bitten by Toine on the left pinkie, causing a melee that lasted
for
30 minutes, as Toine repeatedly screamed:

"Expletive-deleted - Do you know who I am?"

"I'm Mr. Veteran All-Star, and you get the ball, when I'm
expletive-deleted
ready to give it to you!!! - You hear me boy!"

Later, after order was restored, mischevious back-up
center/exhibitionist
Tony Battie, who had spent most of practice eating refried beans and
guacamoles
secretly let out a Shaqille-sized explosive fart that caused members of
security to
evacuate the building, as the bomb squad was brought in to look for more

explosive devices.

Two hours later, after a thorough check, the training facility was
re-opened, but
not more than 20 minutes had passed, when Coach O'Brien had two members
of
the Boston Media tossed from practice, after over-hearing them refer to
Paul
Pierce as Sgt. Schultz, no doubt a result of his amnesiatic testimony
during his
recent trial.

All in all, Rocky Balboa start to Celtics training camp.
Ray