Orlando Dominates Boston

[Josh Ozersky <josh_ozersky@yahoo.com>]

(Sorry for the delay in posting this.  I had an all day job interview.)

By now most of you know that last night's game was one of the worst
defeats in the history of unarmed combat, a complete rout on both ends
of the floor by the Orlando Magic.  I am writing this against the
clock, but here is in essence what happened.

The game began with several strange things happening for the celtics. 
For one thing, they couldn't score with a lineup which included
Anderson, Pierce, and Antoine, who barely touched the ball until five
minutes had gone by, and was a complete non factor.  Nobody could
guard Penny Hardaway, who played not just like an all star, but like
an all star horsing around at the local Y.  Pitino tried all kinds of
weird combinations to try to shake the jinx, including Garnett and
Barros, Battie and Riley, and so on, but nothing worked.  The magic
moved the ball crisply for open jumpers that swished the net in their
halfcourt sets, and ran the fast break all over us time and again.  On
the defensive end, they smothered every scorer, kept us from getting a
shot off on several occastions, and generally played like
man-eater-uppers.  On one memorable occasion, Bo Outlaw blocked
Antoine twice on the same play, one of about 29 blocks he had in the
game.  Naturally, it led to a fast break and a dunk on the other end. 
This was one of the those games you are bound to lose, but it was
obvious that the celtics have no halfcourt game right now.  As I
mention below, that is I think why kenny is struggling.  The team
ended the half down by 13 points, but it wasn't that close.

In the third quarter, the celtics closed the defecit to within one,
but that is an illusory figure, accomplished by a series of transition
three pointers and a three point play by pierce.  However, at no point
could the celtics do the first thing about stopping the magic, so (i
hope) no one was fooled into feeling optimistic.  The game cruised
along for a while, getting worse and worse, until finally the celtics
were put out of their misery.  Question:  did anybody watch this on
boston TV?  I had the sunshine network feed ,but I'm very interested
in what the Cooz had to say about our offensive problems.

Analysis:

The team has no offensive chemistry whatsoever.  I think that
Antoine's new unselfishness, along with the absence of system experts
Walter and Mercer, helps to explain why the team is playing together
like a bunch of guys who just met.  Nobody knows where they are
supposed to be.  On defense, the guys just aren't in shape to play man
to man the way they did last year.  Incredibly, we now have a
legitimate rebounder/shot blocker in Eric Riley, and Battie will
provide help and hustle as he develops and is worked into the offense,
and as he learns to play the back of the press.  Then maybe we can get
a fast break going -- I don't think we had more than one or two the
whole game.

Players:

On offense, Kenny Anderson doesn't have a free man to pass the ball
to, so he is trying to penetrate and create by himself -- but he's not
in shape yet, and his shot is flat.  (I don't think he is used to
carrying the extra muscle weight around, to say nothing of being in
Pitino shape.)  The baffling thing to me is Kenny's bad decisions and
timing -- I see guys open that he doesn't.  I think Rick needs to give
him a pep talk; this isn't the way he plays normally, not that it
would matter.  The teams badly needs the week of practice coming up. 
They really have no offensive sets to speak of, and their spacing is
atrocious.  Antoine can't even abuse his man, because no one can get
in position to get him the ball.  (Kenny keeps running the pick and
roll with him and not delivering him the ball -- why?).  Needless to
say, couldn't defend Penny Hardaway (who can?).  It should be said in
defense of all our guards that the refs called the game very close,
including every touch foul in the backcourt.

Paul Pierce:  Can't judge him on this game.  Had some nice moves, but
got eaten alive as well.  Didn't get a single good look at the basket
in the whole game, other than a few second shots under duress.

Antoine:  I think Antoine should try to stop showing how mature he is,
and start punishing people again.  He also needs to do more inbetween
stuff -- he is either getting the ball forty feet from teh basket, or
(rarely) on the block with three men on his back. This is part of
offensive chemistry.

Battie:  ineffective.  Had a real nice block.
Andrew:  really tough.  Adds that not-so-intangible fury to the mix,
and steals us a few points a game.  
Riley:  played as well as anybody -- not very.  
Dana: got stripped several times.  Shot the ball pretty well.
Popeye:  Great hands.  Tough.  Completely ineffective, but not even
Michael Jordan could have changed this game.

Opposition Players of Note:

Bo Outlaw:  How in the world did we ever not sign this guy?  So many
of us knew what he was capable of, and now he is like a young Dennis
Rodman/John Salley.  Destroyed us.  Destroyed Antoine.  Why didn't we
ever sign this guy?  Oh, I said that already.  

Penny:  I hope he doesn't think he's going to score like that next
time.  Barely broke a sweat.  I want him dead.

We play tonight in Miami, their third game in three nights, with us
angry, and them missing Jamal Mashburn.  We have a good chance at
this, if the team can play organized basketball, and get at least six
or seven fast breaks going in the first half.
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